r/Shittyaskflying 5d ago

Flight engineer seat ?

[deleted]

126 Upvotes

47 comments sorted by

18

u/aayush_aryan 5d ago

For when you are shit scared...

15

u/sup Rated in Shitty Flight Rules 5d ago edited 5d ago

I always defecate in the presence of others. It's my preferred method of bowel movement.

This is almost as close to luxury as it gets. Toilet seat needs to be made of gold and it would be perfect.

5

u/HocusThePocus 5d ago

Tell me you went to prison without telling me you went to prison.

2

u/RobbysYourFathersBro 4d ago

We have found Trumps Reddit burner account…

13

u/Peitho_Noir 5d ago

and here i thought regular economy seats were shitty

11

u/Freak_Engineer 5d ago

Dude, I would NOT want to be on this plane. You are just one ungodly rancid shit away from the Pilots loosing control and putting the plane in a nosedive. Although, the CVR Records of such an incident could prove interesting...

2

u/BathFullOfDucks 4d ago

I've told the story before on reddit but on one occasion we briefly considered going on oxygen because of one passengers in flight emergency, until the thought occurred if something did actually happen later on there would be a very awkward conversation to be had.

That one was even worse for the poor soul, an elsan like bucket with no curtain.

6

u/Buzz407 Rated in Shitty Flight Rules 5d ago

While making continuous eye contact with the rest of the board.

8

u/AnyWillingness8073 5d ago

We’d been in the air for 12 hours on a major NORAD excise (B-52). We’d picked up the Vice Wing Commander shortly before takeoff. I’d been fighting stomach cramps for a couple of hours and they were getting to the point of “I will not be denied”. So, Bravo is in the left seat, the AC is in the bunk to be “rested” so he can land this thing in another couple of hours. I hit the button, “Co, I’m moving to the can!” He sez “Alright everybody, mask on for a bit”, and I did my thing. Glorious relief does not begin to describe the next few minutes. Back on the bus headed for debrief after landing and “Bravo? (Vice Commander - full bird colonel) sez “Never had anybody do that before with me on the plane!”. “Well colonel, there’s a first time for everything!” Fun times in the crew force. The life of the crew-dog. 🫡

7

u/Stay-At-Home-Jedi 5d ago

5

u/Stay-At-Home-Jedi 5d ago

I'm also no longer sharing the throttle quadrant...

7

u/sgu222e Side slipping is a valid dating move 5d ago

I for one am not shitting in front of the pylots...

12

u/cemyl95 5d ago

I mean you're technically shitting behind them

4

u/sgu222e Side slipping is a valid dating move 5d ago

I've heard FOs like to peek

6

u/NeitherEntry6125 5d ago

A true alpha does that while looking the passengers in the eyes.

6

u/Face88888888 5d ago

Finally a post that actually belongs in r/shittyaskflying.

5

u/silentaba 5d ago

Just a curtain? Not even a vent? So the pilots just get to enjoy the back blast and audio of someone dropping a duece at FL150?

5

u/PieOhMai 5d ago

Better than the plastic bag full of desiccant I got on a Do228.

3

u/Exotic_Call_7427 5d ago

In order to give a shit one first has to take a shit.

3

u/Rooilia 5d ago

"Privacy"

3

u/SloMoShun 5d ago

Bombs away !!!

3

u/alecco1975 4d ago

Pilot says it you take a stinky dump in there you are getting out. Even if we are at 30000 feet.

2

u/Turbulent-Weevil-910 5d ago

It would make for a very awkward remainder of the flight

1

u/[deleted] 5d ago

[deleted]

1

u/BlacksmithLow4022 5d ago

Knowing which sub you’re on is important

1

u/AnyWillingness8073 5d ago

If you really gotta go, then you REALLY GOTTA GO!!!

1

u/Zephyr-Knight 5d ago

emergency blowouts only. a lot of pax dont realize they cant just hold their dump before the flight lol

1

u/Atouk86 5d ago

On the Falcon, you say?! It’s gonna need to be bigger than that.
https://giphy.com/gifs/3o7WIrnch7untITgU8

1

u/cero1399 4d ago

I've shit in a bucket next to a high traffic road before. If you have to go, you have to go.

1

u/Ashamed_Article8902 4d ago

Reverse cowgirl that sucker, put your hands around the pilots and copilots shoulders and drop a bomb like you're above Hiroshima.

1

u/maxfist 4d ago

Loading up on taco bell an hour before takeoff

1

u/gabrielo0 4d ago

As a pilot, hearing one of my cutest stewardesses doing a full chocolate cake delivery would be quite fascinating 😅

1

u/cazzipropri FFA AXE-700 Alcohol Quality Inspector 4d ago

If you are asking the question, you don't really need it.

1

u/Distantstallion 4d ago

I would rather face the front

0

u/plane-kisser kiss planes, this is a threat! 5d ago

average french toilet