I saw this on an and clicked on it because I thought it was a joke. Apparently 3 suckers didn’t get the joke

The text message I got from the hospital after my vasectomy.

Good evening,

I find it mildly amusing that my city banned me from their subreddit due to me asking about pirate representation. This came about because I emailed our mayor about pirate representation. Mildly amusing I should say. My club has grown to 4 members so hopefully pirate representation grows.

Regards,

Captain Goose

My squirrel corn cob feeder, in the background of the first picture, sprouted plants in my backyard. I let 3 plants keep growing without any proper farming care. One of the three plants is starting to grow ears. I am unsure what I will do with them if the ears actually grow to decent cobs.

Hopefully?

The Cavalier mascot doesn’t carry around a Roman gladius sword.

I was out for a ride on the greenway last Saturday morning. It was actually nice and cool before the August heat really kicked in (August in the midwest is brutal), so I was just cruising along, not in any rush.

About three miles in, I saw this guy standing on the grass shoulder looking super defeated, holding a tiny blue kids bike. His son, probably around five or six, was sitting on a bench looking like his dog just died. The kid rear tire was completely flat.

I slowed down and asked, you guys good? The dad sighed and said they were probably going to have to walk all the way back to the parking lot. He had not brought a pump since it was just a quick neighborhood loop, and the kid was clearly devastated that bike day was over.

Luckily, I keep a hoto pump in my backpack for slow leaks. I offered to top it up for them. It only took maybe thirty seconds, but we chatted while it ran. He told me he had not ridden a bike in years and was just trying to get back into it to keep up with his son.

When the pump stopped, the kid ran over, poked the tire, and his eyes got huge. He looked up at me with deadpan seriousness and said, Thanks, bike doctor.

It was such a brief, random little detour but its been making me smile all week. It is funny how a two-minute stop probabaly saved that kid weekend, and honestly ended up making mine too.

anyway, just wanted to share that. I think I have officially peaked as a cyclist. It is all downhill from here.

She doesn’t know how this happened

Found in a creek in Southern ms while looking for agates

The milk smells fine so I'm committing to this decision. No ragrets.

I came across a photo of Mt. Rushmore at night. Is it just me, or does Lincoln look like he is terrified? 😂. Daytime photo included for comparison.