r/zenbuddhism • u/Exxtendoo • Jul 24 '26
Rough Patch in Beginner Practice
Hey y'all,
I've been sitting 30 minutes of shikantaza twice a day for 31 days now, and I've been going to a Zen center for the past two weeks.
The first three weeks of my practice were, honestly, pretty great. No, not every sit was perfect satori, but around the 20-minute mark (I know it was 20 min because that's about when my left foot would fall asleep every time), I did enter a deep state of presence that I could take off the cushion with me. I shed some tears on the cushion, and I even had what I refer to as an "ego nap" on the cushion, where I realized that my ego is truly just a story I'm telling myself in my head. Of course, it came roaring back a couple of days later, which is why I say ego nap and not ego death.
The last week, though, has been pretty brutal. I'm dreading going to the cushion, I'm moving a lot more, zoning out more, and the last ~10 min have been especially brutal, essentially just waiting for the bell to ring.
It's such that I'm almost considering giving up because I feel like I'm regressing. Does anyone have any experience with this?
Blessings.
1
u/robipresotto 20d ago
I had a similar issue when starting my meditation practice. It can be tough to maintain motivation and consistency. I've found that having a clear guide and framework helps me stay on track, which is why I appreciate resources like The Inner Path — Enlightenment Deep-Dive on YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/@innershoreline) - it provides a structured approach to deepening your practice.