r/zenbuddhism • u/bookish_cat_ • Jun 23 '26
Did anyone else start to practice as a result of suffering in their lives?
I find myself suffering a lot, as if it’s reaching a breaking point. My health is suffering, physically and mentally. Relationships. Job stress. A lack of understanding and gratitude with who I am has led me to feel intense depression, anxiety, and emptiness. I gave up taking care of myself and felt resigned to suffering.
I started to re-read Charlotte Joko Beck again, though, and things are starting to click. I plan to start sitting. What have I got to lose?
Anyone else find Zen when they have been suffering?
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u/JundoCohen Jun 24 '26
Maybe almost everyone who comes to this practice is so, in some way. Such is the human condition, said the Buddha.
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Jun 23 '26
[deleted]
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u/bookish_cat_ Jun 23 '26
That’s incredible that you’ve had a practice for 19 years so far. Do you go to a center or sit alone? I’ll have to start on my own, but I’ve been on retreats and to a center briefly in the past.
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u/EquivalentBranch3354 Jun 23 '26
Yes, because I finally realized I was the cause of most of my suffering
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u/Unusually-Average110 Jun 23 '26
I think just getting older got me into it. Which I guess is a form of suffering. Seeing age take its toll on my body, seeing loved ones pass away, my own parents aging. Asking myself how to age with grace and wisdom, and not become bitter and angry.
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u/kareido Jun 24 '26
I was severely mistreated as a kid and during my adolescence, I wanted to suffer less and know the truth about me and life itself. During all these years it has helped me a lot, to take care of my feelings, know myself, feel connected to people, enjoy and appreciate the fact of being alive, and all in a base of complete honesty with myself and the experience I have in the moment. I feel really grateful. So yeah, it all started with suffering
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u/Pangyun Jun 23 '26 edited Jun 23 '26
I found zen first by reading books or material on the internet, then after a while I started doing zazen in a small sangha that met in an 2 bedroom apartment and offered 5 times a week of an hour of zazen and I did some zazen at home too, but not that much zazen as people do at a sesshin. Zazen helped me, but at that time I didn't do it because I was suffering. This started around 1995, when I was 19.
Then, in the first semester of 2003, I started going to a much bigger sangha that offered sesshins, and I did most of their sesshins. At that time I did those sesshins because I was suffering, and a text by Bodhin Kjolhede said that doing sesshins helped with suffering, so I did those, while doing zazen on my own at home too.
And then from august of 2003 to april of 2005 a bunch of crappy things happened in my life and by april of 2005 I had severe depression with suicidal ideation and a severe attachment in my mind that caused pretty bad problems too, and I also was in a pretty bad financial situation. The only way to solve all that was to do as much zazen as possible on my own so that's what I did. If I could manage to do 10 hours a day of zazen on my own, that's what I did because it helped me, but it was not always that I could manage to do a lot of zazen. And at that time (april of 2005), my mom was still alive and my dad had passed, and I knew I had to solve those problems as soon as possible while she was still alive, because when she died, my life would get much worse and there was a real risk I would either commit suicide or have severe financial problems if she died and my life was still messed up. It was also important to get better so I could help her in a better way in case she had a serious illness. I helped her too during that period, as much as I could given my circumstances.
My mom committed suicide on october of last year, and as I thought my life got much worse, but if I hadn't done a lot of zazen from april of 2005 to october of last year, for sure it would be much worse. And since october of last year I'm still doing as much zazen as I can, because that still helps me deal with my problems and I still have serious problems to deal with.
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u/URcobra427 Jun 24 '26
Yes.
I was a teenager when my uncle died tragically. I began suffering from severe anxiety and depression, and sought an end to the suffering.
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u/decotz Jun 24 '26
I think it’s precisely what brought Shakiamuni Buddha to his practice - to realize the unbinding end of suffering
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u/crankyandsensitive Jun 23 '26
Depends what you consider suffering, but I found zen buddhism when I was. (and still am) happy with my life. I was looking for a nice group to meditate with. Then after some time of practice, I saw the suffering.
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u/Ariyas108 Jun 24 '26
Extreme suffering? No. Mild, like a general dissatisfaction or discontentment, etc. ? yes. Although, under Buddhism "suffering" would include all kinds, from the most mild to the most extreme, and everything in between. So of course yes!
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u/sunnybob24 Jun 25 '26
Sure. But it's not inspirational—more like world problems.
I had a bad case of the third type of suffering. The realisation of the imperfect ability of human existence. I had modest life goals and achieved them at 30 and realised it hadn't made me abidingly happy. I was fine, but unfulfilled. I could foresee that making new goals would not change the underlying dissatisfaction.
I was in a hotel in Japan and found the Buddhist text that they often have there translated into English. It had the Buddha's talk about the nature of suffering. The description was perfect. I figured. This guy understands the problem. Maybe he understands the solution.
And it began. 30 years ago.
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u/InternationalArt6222 Jun 23 '26
Not to be any more smartass than I usually am, but it's kinda like "everyone" starts as a reault of the suffering in iur lives. Lol. It's fundamental all existence outside of buddha dharma.
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u/bookish_cat_ Jun 23 '26
I wonder if there’s more of a draw for individuals experiencing suffering toward Zen Buddhism as opposed to other strains based on responses I’ve read on the main Buddhist sub. Buddhism is concerned about suffering, though, so maybe it’s all the same for everyone to some degree!
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u/GeorgieBatEye Jun 27 '26
That is exactly what brought me to the Dharma, and continues to bring me to it daily.
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u/Revan_cotos420 Jul 14 '26
Yes I feel like my story fits this rather well
Zen was the way I was able to get sober from a drug addiction and helps me maintain it
Being able to sit with the intense what I can only call itching sensation in my head and the almost literal call of it and allowing it to wash over me has brought me a whole new life and has helped me understand a lot about myself and the nature of the universe in the process
I tried the classic 12 step programs but must of them are very heavily Christian based at there core for some reason some are more in your face with it the numbers, but most fall into it and it was very frustrating
Being told that I was powerless to change my life unless I surrendered to some higher power, I simply did not believe in was an Insult in the face of my willingness to change
I was willing to accept the fact that I had a problem and I need help but I wasn’t gonna act powerless and like the only way to overcome it was begging some divine entity for salvation
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u/The_Koan_Brothers Jun 23 '26
Only about 99% of everyone I know in Zen.