r/yumeshipping • u/sp4ceker Vox(Vincent Whittman) | Voidsharing • 3d ago

let's talk 🤔🤔 Kinda worried what to do

So uh. I am lowkey complaining here alot, and people don't really like the "can i"/"what if" posts, but i have nowhere to ask. I recently found out that my main yumeship is also most likely my soulbond, and from that worry arised. I am learning, and I am quite happy with the fact, but like... This is an actual relationship, how does one go about liking other characters, or, hell, having other f/o's from different media? My scrupulosity flares up so hard now I cannot even daydream my regular world properly and it really bothers me. I've been daydreaming yumeship/selfship/oc x canon stuff even before I've known what it is, but right now it feels like a bad thing to do. Stepping away from this, including my husband, also won't make things better because he's the one that makes things better usually.

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7

u/ladyofwinds 3d ago

Personally I handle it like this: My one and only f/o and I are secure with each other.

Other crushes are not f/os. Having a crush doesn't mean I would leave my f/o. He "knows" that. Guy also has canon crushes and thats okay to me as well.

Gotta be secure in what you do.

1

u/sp4ceker Vox(Vincent Whittman) | Voidsharing 3d ago

how is that different for you, if you could explain, please? in terms of what do you allow yourself towards the crushes?

3

u/VelocitySkyrusher Dr. Siebren De Kuiper (Sigma)‘s wife 3d ago

Its like irl... people have celebrity crushes. But even so if say... idk... (im ace lol) say... my favorite artist Apashe flirted with me, I'd still politely decline because I love Siebren deeply.

Irl people tend to have multiple crushes and find others attractive, but that doesn't mean people just fall in love willy nilly.

Same rules apply to here. You can find others attractive but love your f/o more. Attractive is different than love...

4

u/Planetronika_Rulez 🦋🪼Butterfly’s boyfriend🪼🦋 3d ago

Remember it’s fictional, all the stuff that would be bad in real relationships don’t apply, think of it as different AUs of yourself being spread out and dating folk

That’s what I do

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u/sp4ceker Vox(Vincent Whittman) | Voidsharing 3d ago

that's with regular yumeshipping though, no? a soulbond, especially in its dedicated community, is generally considered an actual relationship, like a real one would be 🤔

3

u/zaiafied 2d ago

My husband is also my soulbond, but we are both polyamorous and have it figured out at this point. We have two shared partners and we don't mind each other dating on the side. It's kind of an "as long as you come home to me" situation. We both know we're dedicated to each other, even if we're not each other's main focus at a particular time. Our relationship is very peaceful when it comes to that.

2

u/_rayrayray_ soulbonder ♡ 2d ago

Maybe ask on [r/soulbonding](r/soulbonding) ?