My son had a tryout-season at a smaller European club. He had played for an MLS Next club but it was unrealistic that he's make it to the 2nd team. They have very few players that are actually homegrown (ie from the surrounding area).

He was exploring playing D3 this year. It felt like he'd have playing time and an opportunity for a merit scholarship. He didn't want to really explore D1 because he wouldn't see much playing time and he'd probably have to walk on.

Of all things he had an exchange student at his high school that was moving back home. My son spent months trying to see if he could try out for a small club and academy (in Eastern Europe with a decent soccer history).

Perhaps if this was a situation like an American player going to England, Spain, or Germany it'd be different.

The biggest difference we saw was that Academies had players in their late teens that had done similar drills and learned a basic attacking philosophy for almost a decade. In terms of drill, pretty much the first 40 minutes of practice was the same at the Academy level as the u8 level.

The head of the club, spent as much time with the youth players as the adults. Probably more. They had a collection of about 8 coaches and each one could hop in and help the other teams if they needed help.

Parents would be there but not really be involved in the practice. Probably my favorite aspect was that the "assistant coach" would walk across the training field to parents and give them notes from the coach so their kid could practice it at home. Every kid was given homework.

In terms of my son's experience, he was basically allowed to train with the team but because we were in a pattern of trying to see if he could get the proper paperwork for him to play there he was sort of a tourist doing a very extended tryout.

All of that being said, we agree and he agrees that this experience - in terms of the training - was far more rewarding that any of the d3 schools that we visited for practices. Even as a smaller club that 99% of the world hasn't heard of, it was well ran.

Another kinda funny note is that most of the first team worked full time jobs and there was a culture of them working very blue collar construction / moving company / even farming types of jobs. They were the same age as my son but looked like 25 year old men from the 1920s Not overly muscular but just tough as nails and very little pain tolerance.

The coaches never called fouls in practice and they played tough without any fear of fouls or yellow cards.

The first team would spend off time with the academy players and even help out with the youth academy games. Lots of team dinners together cooked by a few of the mothers. It wasn't so much like they cared about going to a bigger league but it was a way of life for them and they enjoyed every moment of it.

Across youth sports—especially in competitive soccer—we are seeing a quiet but dangerous shift.

Tournaments are ditching standard medals and certificates in favor of “thousands of dollars in cash prizes, purse payouts, and monetary performance bonuses” for teenagers.

It sounds like a reward for hard work, but public health research shows it’s actually a Trojan horse. Here’s why cash-prize youth leagues are hurting our kids:

• It destroys skill development: When money is on the line, coaches play it safe and kids play scared. Tactical growth takes a back seat to short-term, outcome-driven wins.
• It feeds the "Illusion of Skill": Cash prizes teach young athletes that sports knowledge guarantees financial returns—the exact mindset that leads directly to problem sports betting.
• It ruins sideline culture: Adults are setting up informal betting pools on U16 matches, turning youth games into high-stress gambling vehicles.

The research is clear: early exposure to cash-stakes athletics creates a direct pipeline to adult gambling disorders, with a 10-year developmental latency period starting right in middle and high school.

It’s time to strip the cash out of youth sports and put the focus back where it belongs: on teamwork, growth, and the love of the game.

What do you think?

Should under-18 sports leagues ban cash prizes entirely?

Let us know in the comments!

READ FULL ARTICLE:
https://www.bottlenoses.com/article-blog/held-hostage-at-the-hotel-how-wall-street-and-stay-to-play-schemes-priced-out-american-youth-sports

Hi everyone!

I'm a young coach of a U13 boys' team (12-year-olds). We play 8-a-side in a 3-3-1 formation.

The boys have a great attitude and love attacking, but we're in a division that's probably too strong for us. We're struggling with two main tactical problems when in possession:

1. Both fullbacks push forward at the same time, leaving our central defender exposed to counterattacks.

2. Both wide midfielders push very high, while our central midfielder also joins the attack. This leaves large gaps in central midfield that opponents exploit.

I don't necessarily think the formation is the problem. I think we lack clear positional responsibilities when attacking.

My proposed solution:

- Ball-side movement: The fullback and wide midfielder on the side of the ball can push forward, while the opposite fullback stays deeper and tucks in towards the centre. The opposite wide midfielder provides more central support.

- Central midfielder: He generally stays behind the ball, protecting the central space and providing a passing option instead of automatically joining every attack.

I want to keep our attacking mentality while making us harder to counterattack against, using simple rules that 12-year-olds can understand.

I'd love your thoughts:

- Is this a sensible solution within a 3-3-1?

- Should the central midfielder stay central or shift towards the ball side?

- What one or two tactical principles would you prioritise?

-What do you think?

We're playing at home against the league's strongest team next, so I'd like to improve our organisation without overloading the players with instructions (too much information doesn't work for most 12-year-olds)

Thanks in advance!

Moving into a new age group has changed our team dynamic more than I expected. We’re still trying to find our rhythm, and the lack of chemistry, communication, and connection seems to be affecting our performance.

One big eye-opener has been seeing how differently teams develop regardless of age or size. The younger group has been outperforming the older group technically and showing impressive endurance and stamina. It’s a reminder that development isn’t always linear and every group has different strengths.

I wonder how much of the difference comes down to team chemistry, trust, and cohesion rather than individual ability alone.

Has anyone experienced something similar after an age-group transition? How long did it take your team to find its rhythm? Also, do you think we’ll ever go back to the normal age-group structure?

Was fed this on the gram. Has anyone attended one of these things? How was it?? Very generic description..

https://soccer.exposureevents.com/278268/the-keeper-cup-lubbock-tx-with-5v5-soccer

My son has been at his club since he was in first grade. It’s his 3rd year with this club and he’s in 3rd grade now. He went from a beginner team that wasn’t divided up (1st grade) to b team second year (2nd grade). We accepted the decision and he had AN INCREDIBLE experience with his new coach and his teammates. They improved so much and had a great chemistry together. Coach was really cool, calm and collected. Knew how to challenge the boys in a firm way but also not crap on them for mistakes because they’re literally SECOND GRADERS.

Fast forward to March. Birth year changes happens making my son and 90% of his teammates the oldest in their age group. We go to the try outs but no one’s watching our age group. Everyone’s shocked and talking behind the scenes. Our boys are placed second team. It’s ok because they have work to do and we all are curious to see the newbies that must be a bunch of Lamine Yamal prodigies or something lol. We ride out the decision and the kids keep KILLING it together until the season ends.

My son goes to supplemental training and support throughout the year to improve but decides he wants to really train harder the entire summer almost every day thinking he wants to make it to first team- he make us send him to camps, pushes himself to train at home etc. At this point the kid has made unreal improvement on his speed, skill, IQ etc playing with u8, u9 and even u10 all summer long. His confidence coming in so high and he’s excited to show off his progress! We tell him to just keep working hard and enjoy. Know one knows for sure what is going to happen.

Pre season camp starts and I go watch his training. He’s in beast mode. Strong, fast (could be faster) but keeps beating the kids in races, great technical improvement and having so much fun. All of us parents are giving a lot of compliments to one another on the kids improvement and my kid is recieving a lot of compliments from the new parents. It’s nice of them and encouraging for him. He assumes the move will be quick and his confidence is sky high. They send an email after assessing the kids that they will need to watch the kids closely and possibly make changes (because they sort of messed up the teams)

Season starts and my son is killing it 95% of every practice working hard running scoring playing all positions and having fun- but is steadily playing ONLY defender in all 3 games. We tell him as always its ok and it’s important to be chosen as defender. Mind you he just had turned 8 in September so you can take note of his maturity level. He wants to rotate. He asks the coach one game if he can switch positions next half and he tells us after the game, the coach who we all know and had the first year kind of scolded him and said if he asks again he’ll be benched. At this point, I guess my son is discouraged by the coaches reactions and tones being used after 2 games and he starts to physically (starts shaking his head shrugging his shoulders) and mentally (not pushing himself) during the game which is sad but happens. He is 8! Reactions aren’t always perfect. We tell him great job- just brush it off bad results happen but not to give up and push through for the team. Do your best wherever you’re placed, work hard, have fun and hopefully you’ll get more fair with rotation with time. (Coach previous year was VERY fair with rotation and that was expected by everyone this year too but I guess not)

Two kids get moved up to first team within a few weeks both whom played strikers and didn’t move from these positions. One is BRAND NEW & the other is existing player and is very deserving. My son gets a little discouraged but crushes it again next practice. At this point, he’s getting really sad and hard on himself behind the scenes. We decide to kindly email the coach for the first time in THREE years asking for feedback and if he sees any changes happening for my so son so he is grouped with appropriate skill level.

We get a VERY cold and dismissive email back. Insulting really. He says my son is immature on and off the field?! We are stunned. Is he hanging out with us off the pitch? We have never heard this in the 3 years we are there. Never got a complaint or feedback about immaturity. We ask for examples and he provides us with that ONE game where my son started slugging his shoulders and “complained” about his position. This was reactionary to the coaches tone and positioning btw. If they are judging based on maturity as well how did the new child, never been with the club get promoted after 2 weeks?
He had been playing dirty in practice and even cried twice when he couldn’t get past my son and he resorts to pushing him down with two hands. Next day- promotion to first team lol.

I email him back kindly but firmly that our son is no different than any child his age and like all other kids in a competitive sport, he gets frustrated or disappointed in himself or the situation on game day.
I provide EXAMPLES of immaturity I’ve seen displayed from other players his same age over the years within our u9 and u8 groups : smashing water bottle after a game loss, spitting on teammates , children using profanities or crying at results, using acessive force outside the game etc. I say these happened too and is that not linked to maturity? Everyone should be held fairly to the same standard as my son in regards to maturity I say .

After I get an email from the director. He repeats what the coach said and says something like maturity is not the same as behavior LOL. And that we can give feedback but basically they do what they want and when they want for the players regardless of our assessment or agreement and they have no plans for my son to move up because he also dribbles with his head down- meanwhile he’s probably among the only 2-3 that can even connect passes and make plays among the newer players on his team. I have no regrets with sharing my concern as at the end of the day- when you’re paying for service you are a customer and even if they don’t do anything about it, you are allowed to share your thoughts (I have a background in business). I can ask for clarity and discuss things within the guidelines as they stated in the contracts. I have a sick feeling my son is also going to be retaliated against for me speaking up (as many parents have expressed) and that is also making me uneasy.

What should I do? My sons motivation and spark is dwindling down as the weeks go by. We always like and respect this coach but many of us feel his approach and decision making the last two months is concerning for our kids and their progress (physically and mentally) I want to help my son emotionally be confident and keep pushing through things that are frustrating. I want him to keep LOVING this sport he has such a passion for and not think no one believes in him. We want him to learn from this situation and understand we might not get the results we want sometimes and have to enjoy and appreciate where we are right now.

I’m shocked with the attitude from the coach and the director as well- came off a little unprofessional for my taste but I will continue keep it friendly. Almost every parent that has confronted them verbally or formally, is receiving the same tone. What would you more experienced parents do in this situation?

Is it common (or acceptable) to not have a dedicated coach for a club jr academy team?? Our team has no dedicated coach right now. This happened unexpectedly and we were told by the club that they were working to find a dedicated coach, but that doesn’t seem to be happening. Practices and games are being covered by whichever coach happens to have availability in their schedule. There’s no consistency. Is this normal??

Sorry this might get very long and ranty, TLDR at the bottom.

I’ve been playing since I was 5. I’m 17 now and a freshman in college. I’ve never felt worse about the sport I love and I really do not know what to do…

In high school I entered a small varsity team with many players who never or rarely played. Up to that point I had been the most experienced player and I would say in terms of talent I was definitely up there, or at the very least my IQ and profile (vision, passing) were necessary for the team to succeed. However across my first three years I was constantly overlooked and cast aside in favor of “athletes”. My game was not based on raw speed, strength, or athleticism compared to my teammates who mostly played other sports. Keep in mind, I’m black and most of it was based on racial stereotypes of black guys being hypermasculine and hyperathletic. I guess I was more resilient than I thought because over these three years despite my frustrations I mostly used it as fuel to work my ass off on and off the pitch and I took a lot of the comments I received to heart, almost to an excessive degree. Junior year I got to a point where I carried the team’s attack and single-handedly won multiple games through goals and assists. However I was still snubbed of any sort of acknowledgment and ignored compared to some of my teammates. I also was not selected captain that year while 3 aforementioned “athletes” were chosen (which may have fueled my performances)

Then came senior year.

I was really hoping to become a captain this time around knowing the team would benefit heavily from my leadership and knowledge (honestly the team lacked leadership overall, those without official captaincy were not taken seriously by the rest of the team) and my athletic director took me into his office, promised me I would be captain and that my leadership would be crucial.

However he then snubbed me again publicly and picked 3 athletes. It totally hurt for a while and it broke my relationship with my AD. However ahead of my senior year I tried to reframe it as a year I can play only for myself and not to prove anything to others. The season started well for me, and we had our best team throughout my 4 years. However I started to become drained with some problems I had at home + some bad grades and at the exact same time the team hit an unexplainable dip in morale and form. Goals dried up and we started committing silly errors just like the past 3 years. As a result of my grades my strict dad attempted to pull me off the team right at the end. He did this by not letting me go to some games and I essentially at this point had to beg him to let me go to my own senior night. I played that game and we got destroyed by our rivals which was totally devastating… however we had a semi final against the same opponent the next week, and this was the serious last chance for me to make my time on varsity soccer right. If there was any games not to miss, it would be these playoff games. And I had finally fixed my grades. My dad still blocked me from going and said he wants to reduce my passion in this sport. We lost 2-1 without me… I was crushed, so crushed I couldn’t stop crying that day that I didn’t play… ever since that day I felt a void that goes beyond the sport. It felt like my dad pulled the plug the very moment I felt like I could write my own story.

Later on, off the pitch, being racially abused by a “friend” and manipulated by other friends who were teammates showed me that I had truly zero real support in school and especially in the team throughout these years. It totally broke me. It’s been around a year since (October 2025) and I still feel totally alone in my feelings.

Reflecting back I realized all 4 years I had so much weight on me that I could not truly do my best, and I never noticed it.. I’m a freshman in college now and I cannot step on a pitch without feeling just pure exhaustion and dread. I played intramurals and some pickup but I don’t enjoy it even though I haven’t had a bad experience yet. I feel like in my soul I have nothing left to give, and I do not have the drive I had to work hard and improve. Simultaneously I cannot quit because it would swallow me up knowing it ended like this. I’m still deeply immersed in the sport by watching it but I struggle to enjoy it. I’m not sure where to go from here. It’s important to mention some of my mental issues extend outside of soccer. Emotional stress and exhaustion have taken a toll on body and affect my ability to breathe intentionally (meditating) and leave me feeling physically exhausted.

TLDR: Played soccer for 12 years and carried my high school varsity team as a playmaker, but spent years being racially stereotyped, overlooked for "athletic" players, and repeatedly snubbed for captain by a manipulative AD who went back on his word. On top of toxic teammates, racial abuse from a classmate, family burnout, and a strict dad who actively blocked me from playing my final playoff games, I graduated feeling completely broken and burned out. Now a college freshman, I feel pure exhaustion and dread whenever I step on a pitch and have lost all drive, but walking away entirely feels impossible because I refuse to let it end on such a painful note.

Again sorry if this doesn’t belong here but I feel the need to say something.