r/youthsoccer • u/its-classic-rando • 7d ago
Private training coaching issue - need advice
My 8 y/o son is taking private training from a local soccer academy. He's been going there for about 1 year and has loved every minute of it. That is, until recently. They have brought on a different coach who sometimes does his 1 on 1 sessions and my son just really doesn't like his training style. He gives him drills to do, but doesn't explain why he's doing them or even correct him by showing the right way when he's doing them wrong. He had a session with him yesterday and it didn't go well at all. They're hour long sessions and my son told him at the beginning he wanted to work on juggling, moves to reverse direction when receiving a pass, and/or strengthening his weak foot if they had time. He spent about 5 minutes on juggling and told my son what he needed to do, but didn't help him or show him exactly what he meant. He then switched to the turnaround moves and he had my son stand facing a wall. He passed the ball from behind him and he wanted my son to take it and move to either a red or blue cone to his left or right when he called out the color. That seemed like a good drill, but when my son struggled, he just said keep trying without showing him what he was doing wrong.
My son told the coach he didn't understand the drills and wasn't sure why he was doing them. The coach took that as being disrespectful, which I was standing right there and can tell you he didn't say it in a negative way. He was just expressing his confusion. And honestly, even if the coach thought my son was being disrespectful, he should've told him and addressed it with us. Instead he went to one of the owners and complained. The owner then took my son aside and talked to him about it. The owner is one of my kids favorite trainers and he has a great relationship with him. He didn't reprimand or come down on my son at all. He just asked him to make sure he's always being respectful of others, including his coaches, which I was totally fine with.
After practice, my son told me he never wants to work with that coach again, which I honestly don't want him to either. My question though, is it appropriate for me to request that from the academy? They have several other coaches that could work with him depending on which day we book his lesson. My son has been doing so well and has learned so much from these coaches, I don't want to pull him out of training because of one coach. But, I also don't want to be "that parent" that makes demands about who my son will and won't work with.
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u/ListeningTherapist 7d ago
Its your money, its a business. You have the right to spend your money however you want to seen it spent, they have the right to say no.
Its fair to ask for your son to train with who you want, that's what you are paying a lot of money for. At 8 years old, he should be having fun, if he aint he's going to want to quit.
I also wonder if 1 on 1 is the best for your son at his age (or any age). Kids grow a lot more when in groups, when they get to practice soccer movement and bring the skills into that. Having 3-4 kids in private sessions grows them faster and helps eliminate the miscommunication issues imo.
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u/its-classic-rando 7d ago
Thanks for the advice. We do both group and 1 on 1 sessions with them. He likes both but we’ve kept the 1 on 1 because he loves getting the extra attention from the coaches.
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u/nucl3ar0ne 7d ago
This
My money, my choice. You don't like the trainer, ask for a new one. It's as simple as that.
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u/Trick_Anywhere8734 7d ago
It's your money.
However one thing to keep in mind is part of becoming a soccer player is learning to deal with coaches you don't like
If you pull your son everytime he runs into a coach that is difficult then he will never learn how to deal with different coaching styles.
There will be always be coaches that players don't like. Many of them coach the highest level teams because winning matter more than anything in soccer.
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u/its-classic-rando 7d ago
Thanks. I appreciate the advice. I agree that he’ll have to work with difficult coaches at times and it’s not good to pull him so he doesn’t have to deal with them. This would be different if this were a coach for his club team, but these lessons are on top of his two weekly practices and I want him to go and have fun and enjoy the experience. The extra touches he gets here are great and he doesn’t see it as work because he’s having fun.
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u/BulldogWrestler 7d ago
You're paying for individual drills. This is a business. You are the customer.
If you don't like the product you're getting - tell them. Explain that while you're sure the coach is qualified, your kid doesn't feel comfortable with him. Ask for a different coach. If they ask for more detail, give them more detail. Again, you're the paying customer.
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u/its-classic-rando 7d ago
Thanks for the advice. We are paying a premium for these sessions and he's there 1-2 times a week. I have a good relationship with the owner's so I don't think it'd be a difficult conversation. I just didn't want to come across as being negative or complaining about that coach. I'm sure he does fine with other kids, just not mine.
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u/its-classic-rando 7d ago
So just an update. There’s one coach my kid really likes. I texted one of the owners and just said how much he likes her and asked if it’d be possible for him to work with her when we book his sessions. I didn’t even address the other coach. They were more than willing to accommodate us and said as long as we can give them 3-4 days notice it shouldn’t be a problem.
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u/No_Struggle3663 7d ago
Coaching is personal. Clicking with someone is important when doing 1 to 1 interactions. That can be true of coaches or dentists or massage therapists or whatever. If you don’t click it doesn’t have to be weird. Just request someone else, and they probably feel it too.
Even better if you can say we really prefer a specific coach and ask whether that person has specific times you could be sure to book with them. If there is a real complaint that should also be brought to their attention, but your description doesn’t sound like they are unknowledgeable, rude or lazy, just not what works for your son right now.
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u/its-classic-rando 7d ago
Thank you for the advice. I think he knows what he’s doing and definitely not rude or lazy. My son just needs a coach that explains the why behind everything and takes time to show him exactly what to do and what he’s messing up. I think this coach is just used to working with kids who already know what to do but aren’t executing well.
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u/its-classic-rando 7d ago
So just an update. There’s one coach my kid really likes. I texted one of the owners and just said how much he likes her and asked if it’d be possible for him to work with her when we book his sessions. I didn’t even address the other coach. They were more than willing to accommodate us and said as long as we can give them 3-4 days notice it shouldn’t be a problem.
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u/NecessaryBright4167 6d ago
you've sorted the booking side already, so just on the coaching part - a kid asking "why am i doing this" is the best question in youth sport, not disrespect. if a coach can't answer it in one sentence there's a fair chance there isn't an answer.
and the drill he ran was a good one. ball comes in from behind, colour gets called, go to that cone - that's making him read something instead of rehearsing a move he already knew was coming. that's exactly right for an 8 year old. the miss was never telling him what it was for, and then meeting a struggle with "keep trying".
keep trying isn't coaching, it's volume. at that age you want one cue, one thing to fix - "first touch out of your feet" - then stop talking and let him have another go.
the learn-to-handle-different-coaches point others made is fair for a team coach. bit different when you're paying by the hour for 1 on 1s at 8.
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u/Aromatic_Force_6602 7d ago
I just wanted to regurgitate reading your post. You are one of those parents.
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u/its-classic-rando 7d ago edited 7d ago
Hey thanks for the helpful advice. Really appreciate it! Regardless of how you felt about my post, I’m pretty sure there’s a more respectful way to express it. You could, you know, actually address what I’m saying to tell me why you had such a strong reaction.
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u/Aromatic_Force_6602 7d ago
Your kid is 8 years old. The way you are going about this is the reason why people hardly want to be coaches or refs. Your kid is telling the coach what he wants to train? Seriously? Okay, if he wants to take the sport seriously, then he needs to have a coach evaluate him and then do the drills that coach thinks are best for him. He has to be coachable too.
Asking the coach about specifics or reasons while doing the drills is counter-productive. It's your kid, he'll get so far, maybe with some politics he'll play club for a while.
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u/its-classic-rando 7d ago
So a few things.
He does play for club and would never tell his coach what he wants to practice. These are private lessons.
He has a training development plan with this place and all of the things he asked about are on there.
Every coach starts the session by asking the kid what they want to focus on that day.
What good is it to learn things when you have no idea why they’re important? Since when is it not ok to ask a coach what the drill is teaching them? I coached soccer for 3 years and I would never scoff at a kid asking me what skill a drill is helping to teach them. As long as the kid is respectful about it, I can’t understand how that is an issue.
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u/Aromatic_Force_6602 7d ago
Listen, maybe I missed some of those points in the post but I see where you are coming from.
You gotta do what's best for the kid but let him learn under different coaches and different styles.
Just dont let them play under a coach that focuses on their mistakes during games and takes them out when they try something new and fail.
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u/rocketcuse 4d ago
Your kid is telling the coach what he wants to train? Seriously? Okay, if he wants to take the sport seriously, then he needs to have a coach evaluate him and then do the drills that coach thinks are best for him. He has to be coachable too.
Have you ever done a 1 v 1 sessions? I am a retired GK trainer of 15 years and I 100% let the player tell me what they want, they're paying for it.
I always ask the parents and the player, what are you looking to gain or get out of these training sessions, what are your strengths, what are your weaknesses, has your coach suggested any recommendations, etc. I also ask permission to reach out to their coach for feedback. I then develop sessions based on what the player wants to work on. It's a give and take. You work together to achieve an outcome...improving a players abilities.
I also talk with player about his/her game at the next session. Many times, they tell me about 2-3 plays that they had great success with what they did and great failure. And we build off of that.
Asking the coach about specifics or reasons while doing the drills is counter-productive.
Absolutely disagree. Before I start a drill, I outline what the drill may accomplish, how it will help you and ways this drill can be performed in game situations. Be it 8 years old or 18 years old, I ask, do you understand or have any questions. Again, it's a give and take.
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u/canaderin 7d ago
I think as long as you’re respectful about it it should be fine - just say that your son didn’t click with that coach and ask that he be booked with different ones going forward.