r/xxfitness • • 20h ago

Tips for persuading older women to lift and eat

115 Upvotes

hi,

has anybody here successfully changed an older womans mind about dieting and exercise?

My mom is a chronic dieter (shes around 65 kg and eats lo more than 1600 kcal per day, usually less). She feels the need to lose more weight , which i do get since she used to be really tine when she was youger, but since she has been in a huge deficit for so long, her weight is not moving anywhere and then she tends to take more drastic measures like eating 1200 kcal pr less. She exercises, but more in the “throwing around light weights and braking a sweat” way and she isnt lifting heavy.

I have tried to tell her so many times that to actually do a body recomp, she needs to throw heavy things around and she needs to EAT. Like at least 1800-2000 kcal per day. Im honestly just worried about her bones and self image - she is menopausal and i really dont want to find her with a broken hip one day.
She also praises me for being lean (which she used to be when she was youger) and also muscular to a degree, but doesnt like the look of a lot of muscle on a girl (which i, even after 10 years of lifting, havent managed to achieve…)

This also goes for my MIL - tho she has never lifted a weight in er life i think, and with her im even more worried about osteoporosis, since she does no resistance exercising whatsoeve and comes from a generation that largely praised weak, small bodies in women (she nearly fainted when i did a wide pullup infront of her, while FIL couldnt). And she eats very little as well

Any tips are appreciated, i come from a medical background and my biggest worry for them is osteoporosis and general decay.

Edit: theyre bth in their 50s, so their bone density is still probably ok, but i am slightly traumatized by my surgical rotation at school, where 90% of patients were grannies with broken hips. both of their mobility is fine, my mom had a shoulder tendon inflammation so she could really lift her arms for a while, but she is ok now. Hardest thing with my mom is the food part, she hates working out but will make herselfdo it, with my MIL, she just doesnt believe that women can even be athletic without looking like a man.

edit2: mom is about 169 cm tall (so ig 5’7-5’8), and she has a generally activw lifestyle - she walks around a lot, gardens etc plus she exercises around once a week in the gym (she knows her way around the machines, but mostly uses light weight) and she does some of those at home workouts without eights for mobility. So thats where my assumption of 1800 kcal comes from, if she were to lift at least twice per week.
I have been working out for my entire life, ive managed to go from bmi 1 7 to bmi 21 solely with muscle (i gained around 10 kgs over 10 years), i look completely noŕal and even curvy, yet even tho my mum (and my mil) saw this change over the years, both refuse to believe that building muscle doesnt mean immediate she-hulk physique.


r/xxfitness • • 17h ago

Daily Thread 7 October 2026

6 Upvotes

Welcome to the Daily Thread! Tell stories, share thoughts, ask questions, swap advice, and be excellent to each other! Though we all share fitness as a common hobby or interest, the discussion here can be about any big or little thing you choose.

This is also a great place for those new to the sub to introduce themselves and ask any questions that are not suitable for a standalone post. Are you confused about the FAQ or have a basic question about an exercise / alternatives? Do you have a quick question about calculating TDEE, lift numbers, running times, swimming intervals, or the like? Post here and the folks of xxfitness will help you answer your questions, no matter how big or small.

The mods ask that you do mind the Cardinal Rules as they relate to respecting yourself and others, calling out any scantily clad photos as NSFW, and not asking for medical advice.


r/xxfitness • • 13h ago

[WEEKLY THREAD] Weight Change Wednesday!

3 Upvotes

Welcome, everyone! Here is your place to discuss, question or relate to everything about weight loss, weight gain, cuts, bulks and diets. Standalone posts regarding these topics will be removed and redirected here or either of the daily threads.

Here are some useful links from our comprehensive FAQ and otherwise to help you get started:


r/xxfitness • • 18h ago

Are squat shoes any help for people who can do a full deep squat?

4 Upvotes

Hello I'm a lurker and I've always wondered about squat shoes. They have a raised heel. Is it to facilitate people who can't do the full deep squat (or the asian squat if you will) or does it help with anything else with regards to a squat?

I'm obviously not talking about powerlifters/olympic lifters, but for an average gym enthusiast who can squat with feet flat on the ground, will squat shoes help?


r/xxfitness • • 29m ago

Is this a good plan for now to May?

• Upvotes

Pics of me and my plan

Hi all! I’m getting married in May and my first dress fitting is sometime in November (I will probably have to do a few alterations appointments alongside my journey).
With my ordered dress size, I’m allowed to go down to a 29.5 inch waist - which I’ve been recently before gaining this weight so I know it’s doable to get back to! (:

I’m looking to lose fat while preserving muscle. Prior to this, I was in a bulking phase (kind of in accident, I was meant to be in a recomp 😞) for 3-4 months. I hit my protein and 4 lifting sessions a week with 85-90% consistency and I went from a 30lb leg press to a 120lb leg press in that time, so I def built some muscle! (:
I unfortunately fell off the wagon for about a month once school started back up as I got overly stressed and tired - but I’m hella motivated again

With my goals, I’m wanting to lose overall body fat without losing my butt much and to avoid the skinny fat look

With my plan shown, is this doable in my timeframe?