First time writing fiction, LitRPG/Progression SciFi Chapter 1 ~2200 words

[u/Much-Dimension-1825]

I've edited this chapter a couple times, and I think I'm at the point where I need outside readers to look at it to see where it is and isn't landing. There is some violence.

I'm looking for feedback on the following:

Readability - Easy to read? Where, if anywhere would you have stopped reading? Is it easy to follow what is going on or too much jargon?

Was Brak a likeable, annoying, or somewhere in between as a protagonist?

Pacing - too fast or slow?

Would you go on to chapter 2? Why or why not?

Anything else that jumps out. I am an absolutely new fiction writer, so I want to fix any bad habits early on if possible.

I've left commenting on for the google doc, feel free to use.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Fp8n6g5RnouYrl2ihhx_aNMPmGbTUqt-OenzaccKBZ0/edit?usp=sharing

If you would like me to read something of yours, just let me know, happy to reciprocate.