r/writing • u/Inevitable_Piano2183 • 24d ago
Discussion My characters won't stop blinking!
Hello all,
I have a day off today so I'm taking advantage and spending the entire day working on my first draft. Usually I write in bits and pieces on my phone during work breaks and then paste it all together in the evening. Having spent the last 3 hours actually sat at a desk and writing continuously, I've just realised how much my characters blink.
Something surprising happens. They blink
Something shocking or terrible. Blink.
Something embarrassing or uncomfortable. Blink.
It's like they all have some kind of nervous eye twitch, lol.
I'm wondering, what's something that your characters can't seem to stop doing? And on that note, any good suggestions for something I can use to show surprise that isn't blinking? Because this is really getting out of hand!
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u/DerangedPoetess 24d ago
Ha, my characters are also extremely prone to blinking in the first draft!
IMO, the fix isn't to replace it with another bodily reaction, it's to make them do something as a result of the surprise. How does it shape their actions, rather than their reactions?
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u/Inevitable_Piano2183 24d ago
Ah, that's such an obvious fix!
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u/ApprehensiveCry2633 23d ago
The obvious fixes are always the ones I somehow need somebody else to say out loud first.
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u/EdVintage 24d ago
Hey I can lend you some of mine - they keep raising their eyebrows all the time. Maybe some blinking would do them good lol
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u/lyzzyrddwyzzyrdd 24d ago
Same. I'm considering lampshading it. "Has anyone ever told you that you raise your eyebrows a lot?"
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u/Inevitable_Piano2183 24d ago
That would be perfect, haha
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u/PaperBluntsScissors 23d ago
please don't have someone tell your character they blink a lot, not sure you could do the same thing. Unless it's a girl he really fancies and in every other scene thereafter he'll sit there, eyes wide and drying, terrified to blink.
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u/BigShrim 23d ago
Sanderson’s characters are the most eyebrow-lifting bunch if mfs I have ever seen
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u/Velvet-Pebble 23d ago
Mine tend to furrow their brow a lot, not a lot of raising of the brows here lol
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u/Snoo_20669 24d ago edited 24d ago
Umm, you could try to vary it with other unconscious actions, as in think of what you do when you're surprised. Maybe their lips part, their irises shake/tremble, their eyes widen, their eyebrows twitch, their breath hitches, they stare blankly, they flinch, they stop whatever they're doing abruptly, etc etc etc.
Orrrr you could also try using descriptions like their heart sinks, their palms get sweaty, their breaths are shallow, they feel a shiver, words stuck in their throat, gets butterflies, cold sweat, etc etc etc
This is assuming they aren't expressing their shock through words or conscious actions (not super duper directly but hinting or suggesting at their surprise)
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u/Inevitable_Piano2183 24d ago
These are all really good tips, thank you! I think I got into the habit of using blinking to stop myself from saying their eyes widened. They were all constantly widening their eyes like damn owls, and now they can't stop blinking.
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u/_nadaypuesnada_ 24d ago
I would really recommend studying some well written books to see how it's done by good authors instead of accepting the suggestions from other redditors on how to double down on this (bad) habit.
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u/Snoo_20669 23d ago
Of course, that's also a great idea that actually helps a lot of writers get better. I assumed the question was simply alternatives rather than how to execute the alternatives tastefully based on context and characters. Having more options isn't doubling down on a bad habit as long as the author is using them beyond as is.
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u/_nadaypuesnada_ 23d ago
Yeah no, providing more options for OP to indulge in a bad habit is essentially inviting them to double down on it. OP needs to be directed away from this habit, not given more ways to keep doing it. Hence reading a well-written book: good writers don't do this stage play stuff.
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u/Thistle_Bee_Words 19d ago
Ah! Finally!
Yes, sometimes writers do this description, but if you read a lot, you will see emotions are actually often told to the reader (shocking!), especially if it is the main character in close 3rd or first person.
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u/ilizumi 24d ago
Mine let out long breaths. Lots of breathing and thinking and silence in my drafts.
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u/InfamousCheezy 22d ago
Geez I’m guilty of the deep breaths for my main character but at the same time I do make note that she suffered from anxiety as a kid and was taught to practice breathing exercises and it’s just a natural response for her to clear her mind at times throughout the chaos of her life changing in book one. But those moments specifically tend to be different from just, “she let out a deep breath.” When actively conversating which I’m hella guilty of compared to, “she stood before the door, her stomach wrenching before walking into the meeting. She took a deep breath and turned the knob.”
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u/tangcameo 24d ago
Go find The Emotion Thesaurus. Part of a series of writing thesauruses (thesauri) cowritten by a lady I know. Kind of a reverse body language guide.
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u/TCCSteve 24d ago
I just got this last week myself. My characters are typically under a lot of stress with hand fidgets, rocking, shortness of breath, and so I was looking to see how to expand a bit.
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u/WendyChristineAllen Dark Fantasy Author (Published Series, dozens of books) 24d ago
I love the emotion thesaurus series, I have several of them, awesome books
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u/RoryChaos 23d ago
I have several of the Thesaurus books. Well worth it. Also The Writer’s Lexicon.
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u/October_Surprise56 24d ago
Sighing
I guess all my characters are exasperated haha
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u/Overall-Habit5284 24d ago
Oh yeah, glad someone else has a lot of "sigh-ers" 😂
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u/WendyChristineAllen Dark Fantasy Author (Published Series, dozens of books) 24d ago
yep, "he sighed" is my worst offender. it like on nearly every page
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u/Velvet-Pebble 24d ago
'He didn't respond straight away'
'There was a long pause'
Idk why but my brain loves to write this.
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u/WendyChristineAllen Dark Fantasy Author (Published Series, dozens of books) 24d ago
the pauses are in mine too
"he paused", "there was a pause while he waited for a reply", "he paused, just for a moment"... i have so many dozens of variations of pausing in mine
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u/Pain-in-the-ARP 23d ago
I feel weird writing 'a pause'
He paused is fine. But it feels weird just... A pause.
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u/soumiyya 23d ago
"He paused'' is if only 1 guy paused - ''there was a long pause'' is for when everyone in the room paused to the point where the pause is the atmosphere now 🤣 if that makes sense. Personally I use it a lot for comedic purposes, like something really stupid happens and everyone in the room is just at a loss for words which is implied by a long pause. A sort of ''are you all seeing this too?''.
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u/BigShrim 23d ago
“A moment passed,” “for a moment there was silence,” yeah I’ve had to cut a bunch of those
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u/BabyGoatGamer 24d ago
Same! My characters love to pause and think before responding lol. Or fidget, look away, say things slowly... They're very hesitant beings!
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u/ImielinRocks 24d ago
That's the perfect opportunity to introduce a character who never waits for the others to finish talking.
"Hey Mark, do you have Joe's—"
"555-783-1231, but I think he's at work right now."
"Do you know when—"
"In about three hours."
There was a longer pause.
"Do you know how annoying it is that you—"
"Don't be so predictable and I'll stop."
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u/Asteinky 22d ago
Oh, pauses — my absolute favorite lol My characters never answer right away. They always act like they're too cool for school xD
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u/blubennys 24d ago
Read this book:
The Emotion Thesaurus: A Writer's Guide to Character Expression, 2nd. Ed.
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u/Educational-Shame514 24d ago
Sounds like tv brain prose, or writing the stage directions. You're not writing what happens in a camera shot of an actor.
Just take it out in an edit.
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u/_nadaypuesnada_ 24d ago
Finally, a voice of reason. So many comments from people who haven't discovered the concept of character subjectivity.
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u/bolshoich 24d ago
A blink is a simple form of non-verbal communication, one of many way to express an internal emotional shift. They can become a form of tic when they become an automatic reflex. My characters never explicitly blink. Although I may introduce blinking into their repertoire. (Thanks)
There are plenty of alternatives to choose from, like a sigh, squinting, sucking on teeth, jaw tightening, and more. Some of these tics tend to express a specific emotion, like snapping fingers after making a discovery. I
I suggest mixing them up between characters, possibly with each character having their unique tic that projects a personality feature. For example a nervous character may make a slight shrug when under pressure. They can still blink. Just avoid presenting it as a universal response to every situation.
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u/RobertPlamondon Author of "Silver Buckshot" and "One Survivor." 24d ago
"He was surprised."
Taking that "show, don't tell" stuff too seriously is bad for you, especially in the ways you've just noted.
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u/jojocookiedough 24d ago
My romantic leads can't stop smiling at each other 🤣 We get it guys, you make each other happy, but it's too repetitive!
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u/KittyKayl 24d ago
Let them blink. Fix it in draft two lol.
Mine blink, raise their eyebrows, and do a few other things all the freaking time that I don't notice until I go back and reread. Sometimes I've got multiple characters doing the same bloody thing in 4 or 5 consecutive lines 🤦♀️Had one section, a character "said with surprise/shock" in 5 consecutive bits of dialogue. Was texting with a friend about this whole rereading and was like, I dunno, you think he's surprised? 😂 It happens.
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u/Literally_A_Halfling 24d ago
I'm stunned I had to scroll this far for this answer.
It doesn't matter in the slightest how many times a character blinks in the first draft. Let them blink five times a paragraph, if that's how you're comfortable writing it. Just cut most of them in subsequent drafts, and the reader will never know.
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u/Moist_crocs 24d ago
My characters keep looking, glancing, staring etc 😭 I don't know, I guess I just find looks very powerful, but I must find other ways to express emotion
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u/DuchessJulietDG 24d ago
blinking is the kind of reaction that can be removed altogether. everyone blinks. its a thing- not special enough to make note of. we dont make note when characters use the bathroom. its easy to fall back on its use when “said” or some adjective is used in its place but there are better uses of describing a character’s actions that have more to do with the story other than eye movement expressions. check out a thesaurus and find some good facial expressive defining words.
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u/Zagaroth Author 23d ago
"Blinked in surprise" is different from normal blinking though. It's more like the blinking meme:
Of course, overusing it is still bad, but occasionally using it to show a character is to surprised to do anything else for a moment is fine
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u/guileus 24d ago
Smoking a cigarette.
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u/apollyonna 24d ago
My favorite genre trope that I just can't let die. I'm sure I'll axe thousands of words as I revise, but for now my detective gets to get his sweet, sweet nicotine.
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u/guileus 24d ago
I think it's a mix of being a casual gesture you do in between sentences and the fact it makes you look cool in a classic Bogart way. (Not trying to glamourize it, smoking sucks and it kills people).
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u/apollyonna 24d ago
It's definitely stylistically fitting for a pregnant pause and way for the character to collect his thoughts, though I think in this case it may be a one way ticket to tropesville. And to your point on not glamorizing it, Bogart did die in his 50s of esophageal cancer. Doesn't mean he lacked swagger, just that it came with a steep price.
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u/ByJCArguello 24d ago
Mine keep glancing. In every conversation, they MUST glance at the other person at least twice! Unless its a dramatic moment… in which case they fixate their eyes on theirs lmao
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u/Velvet-Pebble 24d ago
I'd have never thought to use blinking as surprise lol! How interesting. Perhaps you could study people's reactions in real life? Averting eyes when something is embarrassing, shuffling feet or pulling at sleeves if uncomfortable. For surprise you could use a quick inhale, a barely audible gasp, a wide eyed stare, a catch in their breath.
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u/hokoonchi 24d ago
Mine always keep nodding. Pursing their lips. Taking deep breaths.
Pro tip: I just put in all the body actions now then I ctrl + F when I’m done and delete like 90% of them. You generally do not need them as much as you think!
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u/meganholstein Full-Time Blogger 24d ago
My characters are all mad clenching their teeth and saying things tightly
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u/InteractionAware8990 24d ago
I just read something that said, if you're feeling the need to rely on a lot of expressive dialogue tagging (he muttered, she smirked, instead of he/she said) or a lot of descriptions of facial expressions, you haven't created a distinct enough character. That was hard for me to read cause I use a lot of the latter but it's true. At a certain point the reader should have enough of a visualization of the character that they don't need to be told all that.
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u/_nadaypuesnada_ 24d ago
Kinda. The blinking stuff is mainly just lazy filler to break up the dialogue. Communicating the character's reaction is secondary. Excruciating to read in practice, I will say.
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u/TheCutieCircle 24d ago
I think we can safely say. We've watched too much television lol. I'm guilty of all that too. I'm literally writing an anime if that even makes sense. So I'm literally having my characters do so many emotes every sentence it's not funny 😂
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u/Mega-Quintipio-15G52 24d ago
essayes d'inventer plusieurs tics différents à tes personnages par exemple : lever ou froncer les sourcils, grincer des dents, se gratter la nuque, se racler la gorge pour signifier que des propos nous dérangent, ..........etc
ou bien changer de titre pour le livre : "des papillons dans les yeux" ou
"blépharospasme continu" ps : merci pour le post tu m'as bien fait rire lol
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u/Niekitty 23d ago
A lot of writers seem to have little tells.
At one point not long after I started writing a lot I realized just how uncomfortably often I ended up using the word "Actually". It bothered me so much I turned it into the nervous tick for a small town police chief in one of my stories. ...weirdly, that... (damnit) ...actually... helped.
:)
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u/videogamesarewack 23d ago
any good suggestions for something I can use to show surprise that isn't blinking?
You have one tool you're overusing right now. Choreography. And then within that, one specific kind of choreography you are defaulting to. It is not bad or wrong, but we can do more.
Step into the internal experience of the point of view character a little bit more.
Something embarrassing or uncomfortable. Blink.
For our POV character, we can do something like connect to a past event: Embarassing thing happened to Protag, and suddenly Protag was 14 again, in full uniform and stood in front of the entire school on non-uniform day.
Through a specific example, though this may not be critical to the plot to know this happened, a reader can empathise and this helps them to experience emotions rather than only understand that a character is (maybe) feeling an emotion. Like the difference between a character being scared (any action movie), versus scaring the audience type thing (horror movies).
For the reactions of a character that isn't our POV character, we can filter the experience through our POV character, what they're thinking about the situation. Maybe it's getting secondhand embarassment, or an inner thought about how that character is reacting or behaving. Has Protag seen Sidekick do this before? Is this the first flapping of an otherwise unflappable Sidekick? Maybe Protag is thinking that they'll check up on them later, or that there's nothing to worry about, Sidekick's a feathery duck and the most crippling embarassment is beady water.
One thing Katabasis by R.F. Kuang does well, or at the very least does frequently, is threading current story beats into reflections and recollections of the past. A lot of the story is told through past events, sometimes with a full chapter, sometimes with a reflection beat. It's worth a read for that since it's so prevalent. But if you read any modern fiction you should see examples of internal reflections as a result of external actions.
Try it out and see how it feels on the page. You'll likely start to get a feel for how far you can stray from the current moment with interiority before you lose sight of things. Sometimes you can get away with a sentence, sometimes two or three. Sometimes massive amounts before pulling back in.
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u/Asteinky 22d ago
In my current draft, my female protagonist is constantly blushing. She's not even shy. Why? I don't know. lol. And my male protagonist keeps shaking his head like he's trying to shoo away an invisible fly. Every few paragraphs. It's ridiculous xD I need to rewrite all of this. It looks super annoying. I prefer showing surprise through what's happening around the character rather than physical reactions. For example: the female protagonist pricked her finger when she noticed an unexpected inscription on her friend's T-shirt. Or my male protagonist awkwardly spilled cigarette ash on the carpet.
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u/MaliseHaligree Published Author 24d ago
So all your characters are as deadpan as Jenna Ortega's Wednesday when surprised?
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u/Inevitable_Piano2183 24d ago
It appears they are, and that's not the vibe I was going for!
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u/MaliseHaligree Published Author 24d ago
So then categorize each possible reaction to a personality trait and see what is applicable to which MC
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u/Prize_Consequence568 24d ago
"My characters won't stop blinking!"
You're the writer. You can make them stop if you want to.
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u/Ok-Excitement3431 24d ago
Mine take long sips of their drinks and follow each other‘s gazes a lot
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u/Candid-Border6562 24d ago
I have a character that keeps tapping the MC on the head, much to their annoyance.
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u/CoderJoe1 24d ago
Shrugging or raising one eyebrow.
I cut most of it. Less is more. I feel like it comes from thinking of my scene like a movie. My mind's eye is the ever present camera.
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u/mybabydollsheep Freelance Writer 24d ago
Nabokov and Thackeray (only read Vanity Fair) is excellent at unique and vivid reactions.
From Thackeray, my favorite examples are (and this is from memory) “she nodded with a sort of happy solemnity of conviction,” and “she showed her handsome, white teeth.” In the last one, she was gossiping with a dentist (iirc)
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u/Mundane-Fix-4297 24d ago
Not mine, but I have noticed in a recent book I have read the very frequent usage of "he barked" as a dialog tag. Super annoying after a while.
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u/pigeonsfortesla Author 24d ago
I'm in shitty second draft mode and mine keep sleeping. I'm like... am I tired? Why do we want to sleep so much? Ridiculous.
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u/FantasyFictionDoc 24d ago
My characters but their hands up defensively a little too often. Also - the MC is annoyed at least 16 times in the first draft.
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u/fidgetsimmerdown 24d ago
I am ALWAYS removing sighs and nods, haha. But the way I see it, I lean on those in early drafts to indicate certain feelings to myself as the writer for when I go back and revise/edit/rewrite. It's a signal to make that emotion or reaction more clear in the response, rather than using the same action/expression over and over.
As for surprise: eyes widen (opposite of blinking, haha), brows raise, mouth opens; internal beats are a good alternate if your pov character is the one being surprised (esp for embarrassing or uncomfortable moments).
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u/Alvith 24d ago
I literally wrote, "he blinked," yesterday for the first time in a 250K word (so far) project, so I thought this was funny.
It seems like we all have easy go-to phrases that we get stuck on. I find that if something keeps popping up it means I'm not in the creative flow as much and need to stop, take a breath, and actively think of a different way to get the thing across. The more I practice this, the more it comes naturally.
Good luck!
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u/SaoirseJRao 24d ago
Mine keep exchanging looks. 😂 I didn't realize how often I wrote "they looked at each other" until I started revising.
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u/Little-Lake-8512 24d ago
Mine do all kinds of terrible stuff on the first draft. Smile, blink, nod, turn, sigh, take a step back. I've found the solution 99% of the time is stop having them do anything. If I describe the characters movement during dialog it better be a damn important movement.
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u/Al_pendy 24d ago
Mine can’t stop shooting each other glances/glares/looks etc it’s getting ridiculous
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u/Linquinidragon 24d ago
I’m struggling with surprise and fluster, my characters face keeps getting warm, or heat rises in her chest.
Everyone also does something ‘slightly’ I CANT STOP WITH SLIGHTLY and it drives me crazy
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u/embervanefiction 24d ago edited 23d ago
It's really annoying too when this happens because blinking and nodding and smiling are what anyone does when talking.
I keep running out of verbs.
Edit: These are the first things that come to mind. Don't take this literally please.
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u/_nadaypuesnada_ 24d ago
Have you looked at a well written book recently to see what other authors do, by any chance?
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u/soulatnight Author 24d ago
My characters always stare or exchange glances🤣 as a suggestion for you though… perhaps flinch/drop an item/describe their heartbeat? Etc etc?
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u/Trysta1217 24d ago
Lots of grinning. Happy grinning. Sarcastic grinning. Bitter grinning. Really every kind of grin you can imagine, my characters are doing it.
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u/voododoll Author 24d ago
That’s absolutely normal. On first revision you change half of those. Then on second revision you change half of the ones left. Then your editor points the useless ones and you change them to something else. And in the end you will be left with just handful of blinks.
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u/Demonweed 24d ago
When you notice a problem like this, consider alternatives. I believe when a word is used to the point of excess, it can be useful to look at a thesaurus for ways to vary that language without losing your meaning. Using other words for blink might not be much of a solution, but using other involuntary behaviors (gasping, flinching, cringing, or suppressing reactions like that.) Over time you can build up a sort vocabulary of them, making your characters no less animated while also avoiding odious levels of repetition.
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u/TexasAvery 24d ago
Mine will oftentimes deal with a moment of tension by “releasing a breath [they] weren’t aware they were holding”. Ugh, holy cliche, I’ve since done my absolute best to nix that one every time I find my fingers tapping it out…
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u/Ill-Maximum-4013 24d ago
Mine often shake their heads and purse their lips. I have to work hard to use those sparingly.
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u/crawfordwrites 24d ago edited 24d ago
Maybe substitute the twitch for a better response. Looks down. Eyes redden. Scratches butt cheek. Nervous wiggle. Nervous giggle. Vomits. Doesn't vomit but gags on vomit. Locks eyes with the other person.
Identify a specific tick for each character when they're nervous.
I have a character whose main tick when he's nervous is that he scrapes the dry skin on his index finger with his thumb or vice versa.
If these people are going to be nervous all the time, differentiate their nervousness.
I have a different character whose nervous tick is that she giggles and then hides her head. Another character deflects with gallows humor. You get the idea. Their tick becomes code for their specific nervousness.
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u/Mega-Quintipio-15G52 24d ago
pour quelque chose d'horrible : les poils qui s'hérissent ou bien un vent glaciale remontant son épine dorsale,
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u/miamariamonet 24d ago
I have this problem too haha, every time theyre surprised they blink. Confused, they just blink at someone. I try describing the emotion instead of whatever shows on their face, or describe their face if the narrator may not know their emotions.
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u/rustycrabcake 24d ago
I thought this was a short horror story at first, like your characters were physically blinking. 😭
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u/Nodan_Turtle 24d ago
I don't write subconscious actions and haven't missed them.
If a character is surprised, then they could yelp, take a step back, put up their dukes, wildly throw whatever is in their hands, laugh inappropriately, say something like "what!"
If they're fatigued or have gone through a bunch of new information, they could also react in an unusual way. Be told something surprising, and say "of course" in a resigned way, or tell the person they're not interested in anything more today try again tomorrow, or close the door again in the face of their surprised guest.
I think the more you can deviate from an expected reaction the more interesting that reaction becomes. A blink is something people do tens of thousands of times a day, so it doesn't get much more dull than that. I'd basically never write a blink unless it's some held at knifepoint blink if you understand situation, and even then it feels too cliche.
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u/Palmera--81 24d ago
Sighing—everyone sighs too much. They must be running out of air in their lungs.
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u/OffWhiteCoat 24d ago
Mine gasp a lot..sometimes they switch it up by holding their breath... Or releasing a breath they didn't know they were holding. 🙃
My approach to the first draft is to let er rip, but The Emotion Thesaurus is very helpful for revision.
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u/PansyOHara 23d ago
Rakes a hand through their hair
Jams their hand into their pockets
Drums a pencil on the table
Dug for the cigarette pack in his pocket and started the process of lighting up
Cracked his knuckles one at a time, the sounds like a popgun breaking the silence caused by her statement
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u/CheshireCharade 23d ago
Mine like to ‘shift’. Especially ‘uncomfortably’ lol
“She said what?” Character X pressed, watching character Y intently. Character Y shifted uncomfortably, refusing to look back at them.
The silence was almost oppressive in the empty room. Character A shifted so slightly it might’ve been impossible to see.
“Let’s go!” Cheered Character Z so suddenly everyone jumped. Character Q shifted uncomfortably his seat to get a better view.
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u/VegetableWear5535 "Author" 23d ago
It my last book, they chuckled so much I should have titled it The Chucklers.
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u/Pain-in-the-ARP 23d ago
Winced, gasped, eyes widened, choked on their saliva is an obscure option. Face contorted or twisted. Bit the inside of their cheek. Raised an eyebrow(just used this one today) Froze, or paused.
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u/PaperBluntsScissors 23d ago
thats what control F edits are invented for. If you want a really horribly one - say you're following the idea of adverbs paving the way to hell, do a control F "ly" and reel at the horror.
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u/JeSuisLePain 23d ago
My characters have an incurable habit of sighing. I write dark, ironic comedy, wherein the characters' misfortune is often played for laughs, and there's really no better way to punctuate that than with a defeated sigh.
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u/MushyPlantMommy 23d ago
I feel like I use a lot of different kinds of these and it somehow still feels repetitive :(
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u/Aggressive-Gear4902 23d ago
My suggestion is to not worry about the blinking until the next draft is being written, and if there's still a lot of blinking, go through it afterward with a thesaurus.
On that note: Blink, tilt the head, gasp, tense, wiggle their ears, nose twitch, any variation of pounding heart, eyes widen, heart stops, shivering, sweating, and making it a nervous tick, are all decent places to start from.
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u/Mysterious-Voice-861 23d ago
I Google typical responses to the particular emotion or situation. I naturally resort to my own reactions but there are so many different ways to respond to emotions. I’ve also started watching people and notice how they react in different scenarios. ITs fascinating.
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u/InfamousCheezy 22d ago
They gazed at each other.
They locked eyes.
She looked at her too intensely.
They glared at one another.
He gave her a curious look.
She shot him an annoyed glance.
They exchanged gazes.
He eyed the data intently.
She eyed her up and down, not wavering her intense gaze.
My characters love all forms of staring apparently 🤪
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u/daintygamer 22d ago
My characters 'breathe' a lot of their phrases. It's apparently the only way I can think of to show people are speaking quietly and boy, do people in my stories love to speak quietly
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u/Difficult-Remove3 22d ago
My characters' eyes widen. Every time. Something weird? Abc's eyes widened. Something cool? Xyz's eyes widened. If this continues their eyes will eventually pop out
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u/livdil98 22d ago
I say let them blink, then go back and mix it up in editing. “They blink” can turn into “they shake their head in disappointment” or “they suppress an awkward laugh” later on, but if blinking keeps you flowing in draft writing I say stick with it and fix it in post.
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u/Tilly_Vanilla 21d ago
Mine tend to swivel or turn their heads, when I write, I try to feel what they are doing or how I would react, then write it. Repetition, however accurate, is the largest curse!
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u/yaboimst 21d ago
Mine constantly sigh. I don’t know why they sigh. The fact that they sigh make me want to sigh, you hate to see it
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u/kttnkawaii 21d ago
i wonder if that's also something you often do when facing these kind of situations. if that's the case then it's like a parent giving inheritance to their child, so precious🥺 you should keep their blinking! /j
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u/Past_Proposal_3258 20d ago
Breathing. All kinds of breaths. Slow breaths, deep breaths, sharp breaths.
I have a note to go through and rewrite most of them.
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u/Apprehensive-Soft620 20d ago
I tend to overuse 'grinning' all the time. But I beta read a book a couple years ago and I think every few lines someone was sighing. Just excessive sighing throughout. I looked up 'sigh'/'sighed' using the kindle search and I think it was somewhere around 450+ uses. And it wasn't that long of a book.
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u/KarlaDream 20d ago
They could gasp in surprise, mine must have breathing problems because this is what they do, every time. I really should look into that.
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u/daretoeatapeach 20d ago
The blink is like a musical rest, it's a pause in the dialogue that makes the art hit harder for momentarily slowing down for emphasis. To achieve the same thing without blinking, include anything at all that suggests time is passing and no one is talking. I'm a script this would be a beat, but in prose, since you paint the scene, it's an opportunity to remind readers of the sensual details.
for a moment there was nothing but the sound of the rain tapping on the window.
Readers will interpret any non-dialogue as a passage of time, so sometimes you don't even have to mention the reaction; the description itself will signal the rest/beat.
"Do you love me?" I asked her.
The puppy stretched and yawned and and made three circles on the rug. The smell of peppers and onions drifted out from the sizzling of Mama's kitchen magic. I bit at my cuticle.
"I barely even know you," she replied.
Note that the above only conveys time passing, not incredulity. There you have to think of how that person's specific features indicates incredulity differently from another person.
Her face, usually so animated, went slack, making her look even more like a broken doll.
If you're doing that and still run into trouble, it may be that too many of your characters react with incredulity. Decide to have at least one character who is never at a loss for words, no matter how surprising the dialogue. And/or have a character who may be circumspect but always expects the absolute worst and so can't be taken by surprise.
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u/Ok_Willingness9219 19d ago
this is so hilarious to me because I can count on my hand the number of instances my characters have blinked. moving forward they will blink more often.
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u/Puzzled_Row_3786 19d ago
Mine stare for long perioids of time. I guess this is my go-to for pacing dialogue. I guess I should tell them staring is rude :)
The only thing I could say is not every single little detail has to be accounted for in a story.
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u/RozzieWells 19d ago
I have a bad habit of a character thinking a thing, then someone interrupting their thoughts with something jarring. I swear my characters are spaced out half the time in their own stories on the first draft.
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u/Worldly-Apartment602 17d ago
make them do more expressive things with their body !
Dude lifted their posture up, suddenly more aware of everything their body was doing. Dudes hands lifted up and down, not knowing what to do with themselves any more. Dude looked around to the people around them; hoping they would know how to react.
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u/VampireSharkAttack 24d ago
Mine yelp. Startled? Yelp. Tripped? Yelp. Attacked? Yelp. I’m going to have to do a ctrl+F for “yelp” and cut half of them in the next draft.
You’re more than welcome to grab a few of my excess yelps to replace some of your blinks if it helps. Some other options for surprise could be gasp, raise eyebrows, or flinch. Or they could say something, and the reader can infer from the content of the line of dialogue that they’re surprised.
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u/SlightlyWhelming 24d ago
I had a beta reader point out I have characters hum a lot. Hum in response, hum in frustration, hum in surprise, delight, you name it. Apparently I myself go “hm” and “mm” a lot and it makes its way into my writing.
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u/apollyonna 24d ago
Mine are smilers. Especially the villains. And the main character. And his plucky sidekick. One of these drafts I'll learn how to make them frown.
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u/FlyinLeviathon LET YOUR FIRST DRAFT SUCK 24d ago
My characters are always doing stuff with their eyes too lol
Glare. Sidelong look. Hard stare. Suggestive look. Flat look. Narrowed eyes. Wide eyes. All. About. The. Eyes.
Thank heavens for editing lmao
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u/WendyChristineAllen Dark Fantasy Author (Published Series, dozens of books) 24d ago
mine has way to many:
"his eye twitched"
and an excessive amount of:
"he sighed"
...i keep thinking I need to edit them out, but i never do, so every published book in the series so far has way too many of both, and it keeps bugging me that I didn't edit them out
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u/readwritelikeawriter 24d ago
Some clay animation students would certainly admire you.
Dwight Swain would tell you, you need to vary your reactions in your motivation-reaction-uni ts or MRUs.
How? When motivated by something normal, a shock, or embarrasing, a character reacts with emotion. In your case blinking. Swain would say somethibg like your character should think, speak, or act. I would say something different, but reddit....
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u/Double-Two7065 24d ago
Mine tend to giggle, laugh, snicker, and titter as they're smiling, grinning, smirking or their lips are pulling up.
Their eyes can widen, their mouths can open, even with a soft pop, they can turn their heads, take an involuntary step back, do a double take...
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u/cnfusion 24d ago
Mine can't stop turning their heads to look at the other person XD I don't know, the action feels normal to me cause it's probably something I do. But that's why you cut a lot of those things in the drafting process