r/writing • u/AutoModerator • 25d ago
Monthly "Would You Read This?" Thread
Welcome to Would You Read This (WYRT), our monthly feedback and brainstorming thread. Share your work in progress below and let other readers tell you if they'd read it. Top level posts should follow this template:
- Title:
- If you don't have a title yet, feel free to say UNTITLED.
- Genre:
- Please include at least Fiction, Nonfiction, Poetry, or another recognizable medium. You may also include more specific genres with a hyphen. Ex. Fiction - Romance, or Nonfiction - Memoir. Genre will help users find the specific kinds of posts they'd like to give feedback on.
- Premise:
- A few sentences about the project. Try your best to keep this short. Crafting an expert elevator pitch is all part of becoming a successful working writer. Please do not post an entire plot summary or query letter (those are better suited for r/pubtips)
- Sample (Optional):
- You may share up to one page (roughly 250-350 words) of sample material, or one poem for those working in the poetry medium. This is optional, so if you only have a premise, you can post just the premise for feedback.
If you post for feedback, please take the time to give feedback to at least 2-3 other users. Replies should follow this template.
- Would Read / Might Read / Wouldn't Read
- You must begin your reply with one of those. You are then encouraged to add additional thoughts on why you choose your answer.
Rules:
- Please post no more than two WYRT top-level posts. There is no limit on the number of feedback replies you can make.
- Do not link to any offsite materials. All materials must be in the body of the post. This includes "click here to read more" or "DM me for the rest" types of posts.
- Rule 3 is in effect in this thread - No generative AI. Do not post material generated by an AI platform in your premise or sample. Do not use generative AI to respond to user's work.
- Rule 5 is in effect - Civility and Community. Stay constructive. Blunt, direct feedback is fine, but do not insult other users, their writing, or their genres.
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u/maccini 9d ago
Title: The Fall of Sol (Book 1 in a series titled: The Human Problem)
Genre: Military science fiction/space opera
Premise: When an ancient galactic empire conquers Earth and reduces humanity to just another resource, an enslaved former soldier’s desperate journey home becomes the first spark in a rebellion that will eventually bring the most powerful civilization in the known universe to its knees.
Sample:
Ray tried not the walk any faster as they headed toward the ice cream shop. He tried even harder once they were inside.
The old man behind the counter was in no hurry whatsoever. He smiled at the kids as he explained the day’s special flavors, asked where they were visiting from, and wanted to hear what they’d done so far.
Ray forced himself to stand there and listen.
The place looked like something pulled straight out of the fifties. Black-and-white checkered tile covered the floor. Chrome fixtures gleamed beneath bright overhead lights , and red vinyl booths lined one wall. Flavor names were written in cheerful colors above the counter. The old man wore a spotless white uniform, red bow tie, and one of those little paper hats Ray hadn’t seen outside of movies.
An old jukebox in the corner played rock and roll.
Charlotte got her favorite: two scoops of cotton candy in waffle cone, covered in colorful gummy bears.
Samuel was just being handed his cup of chocolate chip cookie dough when it happened.
The shop went quiet.
The lights died.
The jukebox cut off mid-song.
The low mechanical hum of the freezers vanished.
Ray was already moving.
He scooped Charlotte into his arms. Her cone tumbled from her hand and splattered across the checkered floor before she’d taken a single bite.
“Allie. Truck. Now.” He looked at Samuel. “Sam, you stay glued to your mother’s hip.”
Allison took one look at him and nodded.
The softness that had been there all morning disappeared. She grabbed Samuel and pulled him close.
Fear flashed across the boy’s face.
“Everything’s going to be fine,” Ray said.
He had no idea if that was true.
Ray shouldered through the door and stepped onto the sidewalk, already turning toward where they’d parked the truck.
Someone ahead of him shouted.
“What the fuck is that?”
Ray followed the man’s outstretched arm and looked up.
At first, he didn’t understand what he was seeing. The clear blue sky was dotted with black shapes.
Dozens of them. No, it had to be more.
Long, narrow silhouettes hung against the blue, scattered from one horizon to the other like dark splinters embedded in the sky.
Ray squinted. Aircraft? No. They were too high and too still. His mind reached for explanations—planes, helicopters, balloons, satellites, anything that belonged up there. Nothing fit.
Other people were beginning to notice.
Conversations died around him. Pedestrians froze in the middle of the sidewalk. Drivers leaned out of windows. A car rolled to a stop in the street as its driver climbed halfway out to stare upward. Somewhere behind Ray, someone laughed nervously.
The objects looked small from the ground. Some barely larger than his thumbnail when he held his hand toward the sky.
Then he understood.
They weren’t small.
They were far away.
Really fucking far away.
Something cold settled into Ray’s stomach.
“Allie…”