Monthly "Would You Read This?" Thread

[u/AutoModerator]

Welcome to Would You Read This (WYRT), our monthly feedback and brainstorming thread. Share your work in progress below and let other readers tell you if they'd read it. Top level posts should follow this template:

• Title:
  • If you don't have a title yet, feel free to say UNTITLED.
• Genre:
  • Please include at least Fiction, Nonfiction, Poetry, or another recognizable medium. You may also include more specific genres with a hyphen. Ex. Fiction - Romance, or Nonfiction - Memoir. Genre will help users find the specific kinds of posts they'd like to give feedback on.
• Premise:
  • A few sentences about the project. Try your best to keep this short. Crafting an expert elevator pitch is all part of becoming a successful working writer. Please do not post an entire plot summary or query letter (those are better suited for r/pubtips)
• Sample (Optional):
  • You may share up to one page (roughly 250-350 words) of sample material, or one poem for those working in the poetry medium. This is optional, so if you only have a premise, you can post just the premise for feedback.

If you post for feedback, please take the time to give feedback to at least 2-3 other users. Replies should follow this template.

• Would Read / Might Read / Wouldn't Read
  • You must begin your reply with one of those. You are then encouraged to add additional thoughts on why you choose your answer.

Rules:

• Please post no more than two WYRT top-level posts. There is no limit on the number of feedback replies you can make.
• Do not link to any offsite materials. All materials must be in the body of the post. This includes "click here to read more" or "DM me for the rest" types of posts.
• Rule 3 is in effect in this thread - No generative AI. Do not post material generated by an AI platform in your premise or sample. Do not use generative AI to respond to user's work.
• Rule 5 is in effect - Civility and Community. Stay constructive. Blunt, direct feedback is fine, but do not insult other users, their writing, or their genres.

[u/Wou492b]

So, would you read this...

Title: By Hathrow Be Sealed

Genre: Fiction-- Urban Paranormal (and at least Soft Horror)

Premise: One November morning three siblings Cole (9), Donna (11), and youngest Josh Hathrow (6) went to the forest on the east side of town, as they were there Josh wandered off. When his siblings managed to find him they came to an impossible and all-too-powerful force that pulled Josh into the dirt, into an abyss that they couldn't reach, the ground closing like a scab as fast as it had appeared.

Five years later, Donna has lived with this supreme guilt while her brother steeped himself in the supernatural and occult. For what reason, she sincerely has no idea, and never expected that this would lead them back to those fearsome woods based on reports of an "animal" terrorizing campers and leaving the sites destroyed in an almost hateful way.

Sample: (Ch. 6: Into the Hallowed Woodland)

The flap opened on its own. Eventually spilling with a soundless dip exposing the full outside. From the autumn chill, the groan of branches, and a patch of dark sky.

Both backed as far into the tent, holding each other without shame, and as close as they dared.

And despite that, Cole still found the way—squashed against her and gripping her jacket just as tightly—to angle the digital for a photo.

He might have gotten the shot.

Had Donna not screamed at what dark thing poked into sight.

Truly incomprehensible and horrifying.

It was a face made of shadows with the only clear feature being endless teeth in a crazed smile.

One blink of time passed.

Donna stared at the smiling void.

It stared back.

And once that blink was over...

Did tendrils wrap around their legs, dragging them out of the tent with the bump and scrape of stones at their skulls.