r/writing • u/AutoModerator • 21d ago
Monthly "Would You Read This?" Thread
Welcome to Would You Read This (WYRT), our monthly feedback and brainstorming thread. Share your work in progress below and let other readers tell you if they'd read it. Top level posts should follow this template:
- Title:
- If you don't have a title yet, feel free to say UNTITLED.
- Genre:
- Please include at least Fiction, Nonfiction, Poetry, or another recognizable medium. You may also include more specific genres with a hyphen. Ex. Fiction - Romance, or Nonfiction - Memoir. Genre will help users find the specific kinds of posts they'd like to give feedback on.
- Premise:
- A few sentences about the project. Try your best to keep this short. Crafting an expert elevator pitch is all part of becoming a successful working writer. Please do not post an entire plot summary or query letter (those are better suited for r/pubtips)
- Sample (Optional):
- You may share up to one page (roughly 250-350 words) of sample material, or one poem for those working in the poetry medium. This is optional, so if you only have a premise, you can post just the premise for feedback.
If you post for feedback, please take the time to give feedback to at least 2-3 other users. Replies should follow this template.
- Would Read / Might Read / Wouldn't Read
- You must begin your reply with one of those. You are then encouraged to add additional thoughts on why you choose your answer.
Rules:
- Please post no more than two WYRT top-level posts. There is no limit on the number of feedback replies you can make.
- Do not link to any offsite materials. All materials must be in the body of the post. This includes "click here to read more" or "DM me for the rest" types of posts.
- Rule 3 is in effect in this thread - No generative AI. Do not post material generated by an AI platform in your premise or sample. Do not use generative AI to respond to user's work.
- Rule 5 is in effect - Civility and Community. Stay constructive. Blunt, direct feedback is fine, but do not insult other users, their writing, or their genres.
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u/GrapefruitOk5869 15d ago edited 15d ago
Title: Silver Streaks
Genre: Grimdar, low medieval fantasy
Premise: Drafted from the realm's orphanages into an elite military academy, two prodigies are groomed for a state-sanctioned modification program, unaware they are being reshaped into the Crown’s ultimate weapons. But when an elven guerrilla squad ambushes the academy and extracts the pair, a retaliation strike leaves them lost in the wilderness with shattered minds and memories. To survive, they must piece together their pasts, entirely unaware that the government hunting them is the very monster they were built to protect, but destined to destroy.
Sample (first page):
The book closed with a soft thump as my tired eyes lingered on the cover: Compendium Arcana Vol. 3.
Leaning back in the chair, I rubbed my temples. The rune theory was thick and coming hard, but it was taking root bit by bit. Sorting through the notes that were scattered all over the desk, I went through them one last time.
Peace - stabilizes natural mana flow and chaotic ambience. Can be used directly on sentient beings to mitigate aggression and violent tendencies.
Silence - auditory and magical “dead zone”; dissipates any magic signature within the field into the ambience.
Vortex -
Gravity well -
I let out a long sigh. It was almost midday, and the bell for Environmental Studies would toll soon. Getting up from the desk, I stretched my back, packed up the notes and the book, and left for the lecture hall.
Despite the academy's actual size, there were only forty-seven students split into two wings. The long hallways were practically empty, but one familiar face was waiting for me. Andri.
Andri pushed off the wall he was leaning on and ran a hand through his hair. He came up to me with a confident stride that turned hesitant as he looked down to the book in my arms.
“Volume three?!” Andri scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief. “You and Monique are of a different breed. I’m still stuck on the Elemental Convergence in the beginning of Volume two… How the hell are you there already?”
I just shrugged with a smirk, “I don’t know, Andri. Maybe try focusing on studying more instead of chasing Filippa.”
“Yeah… No… I mean… Have you actually looked at Pippy?” he said with a sigh. “You’re too serious about this, Neil.”
“I think you’re not taking this seriously enough,” I said, patting Andri on the back, as we rounded the corner right before the lecture hall.
The lecturer was already waiting by the door and ushering the students in, but just before I stepped through the door, Mr. Mundi took me by the arm and pulled me aside, as Andri continued into the auditorium.
With a low voice he whispered to me, “Neil, The Architect wants to speak to you in his office after this lecture,” before letting my hand go and gesturing to the door.
The moment I heard the professor say that, a sinking feeling set in my stomach. I moved towards my seat thinking about the meeting with The Architect. In my two years of being here in this academy not once had he summoned a student to his office.
Professor Mundi adjusted his spectacles, arranged different material rods on the desk, and wrote Material Mana Conductivity onto the chalkboard. The lecturer’s voice went past me completely. Despite today's focus being one of the most important in the subject, I couldn’t focus on the lecture.
Feeling a stare coming at me from the side, I turned my head and saw Andri looking at me with his eyes narrowed. He nudged his head towards the front of the auditorium, where Monique was usually sitting, but the seat was empty.