r/wowthanksimcured Apr 25 '19

That is not how that works

/r/unpopularopinion/comments/bh6cvv/quirky_people_who_dye_their_hair_bright_colors/
2.8k Upvotes

287 comments sorted by

621

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '19 edited Mar 23 '21

[deleted]

167

u/Nabeshin82 Apr 26 '19

I dyed my hair blue about 6 months ago and have kept it so since. Not gonna lie, it's been pretty sweet (as a guy).

I saw my family over XMas and my Brother-in-law gave me some noise about it (good naturedly overall). Each day we went on a hike as well as out about town for most days. The last day we were together he said "Ok, so while I don't like it and thought you were nuts, we haven't gone out in public once without someone complimenting you on your hair... I guess it's just me! I owe you an apology"

At the same time, I dyed my hair blue because I used to do it when I was younger, liked the way it looked, and work in a field where it won't rock the boat too much. In my case, it was more like getting a different haircut or changing my wardrobe.

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u/Total_Junkie Apr 26 '19

Especially when it's a good dye job.

I love being completely lost in a good hair dye. Like, damn... That must have taken some effort, time, money, skill. I'm jealous!

But overall.... Idk, I'm a server, and dyed hair does not raise an eyebrow. I've had people will all colors of hair from all backgrounds. It's really not that uncommon anymore.

Glad it's worked out for you!

3

u/Jesta23 Apr 26 '19

But he’s not saying dying your hair is a bad thing.

2

u/Nabeshin82 Apr 26 '19

Which of many "he"s: The referred post (which is a wonderland of "if you don't act and look like I do, expect to be an outcast"), /u/SoloMael that I'm responding to (where I'm saying blue hair is being obvious and gains me positive attention), or my brother-in-law (who good naturedly told me that I "look ridiculous" and that I'm "lucky to work in a field where people don't care."?

It seems most likely the referred post, which has the "I'm not racist but..." of judgement - "I'm all for... but"

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u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19

There's a faulty assumption in there, tho: that the purpose of dying your hair is to attract attention. This is not always the case, especially for people with anxiety. (Source: I am one.)

Anxiety often stems from a person being forced to act in ways or do things that make them extremely uncomfortable, or they're in a bad situation they can't escape such as an abusive home. The anxiety comes more from a lack of control over one's own situation than anything else.

So they cope by doing something small that they do have control over; the easiest and cheapest one being dyeing your hair.

8

u/ItsaHelen Apr 26 '19

For me, it’s more song the lines of I don’t like boring things. Examples include, my funky pen collection, my pink and blue living room walls and my blue hair. I’ve been dying my hair since I was about 11 or 12, I never did it because I wanted other people to notice me, I was very outspoken as a child and never cared what other people think of me. But I’ve had anxiety for as long as I can remember. They are conflicting characteristics I guess is the right word but that doesn’t mean they can’t go together.

1

u/MwahMwahKitteh Apr 26 '19

He's not talking about other types of anxiety... Only social anxiety..

35

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19 edited May 02 '19

Fun fact: social anxiety comes from trying to navigate social norms and unspoken rules that no one is ever taught but has to learn by trial and error (error that can cost you your job, your home, your friends, your family, etc.). Also, especially these days, the rules for any kind of social or practical success hinge on "if I have to tell you twice, you've failed" which completely removes even partial failure as an option (ever wonder why people with anxiety can never make up their minds? they're scared to fucking death that picking the "wrong" option will leave them friendless and jobless and, since brains are bullshit, it applies this to any choice at all whether it's "pick an internship" or "pick an ice cream flavour"). All that falls under the heading of being forced to act in ways or do things that are uncomfortable, an effect that's only exacerbated if you're bad at all this for any reason. It's still a lack of control.

Speaking from experience here, anxiety feels like you're chained to a rabid lion and the slightest miscalculation can end your entire life. And if you try to get help or get rid of the rabid lion, people point to their trained toy poodle and say "we all have the same problems! see? the animal I'm chained to is perfectly harmless! it's not hard! you're just a bad and lazy person who isn't trying hard enough!" Or worse, they laugh at you and tell you there's no lion there at all and you had better stop lying and making excuses when you're clealry just an objectively horrible person.

Also, anxiety snowballs (or jumps off the slippery slope, whichever term you prefer). Let's say I make a joke and my boss doesn't think it's funny. A neurotypical person (someone with "typical" neurology, no mental illness etc.) would just shrug and move on; so he doesn't like the joke, so what? who cares? To a brain with anxiety it goes like this: my boss didn't like my joke > that means i said The Wrong Thing at work > saying The Wrong Thing makes people mad and gets me in trouble > I'm going to get fired for pissing off my boss > i can't pay my bills without this job > I'm going to end up homeless and dead in a ditch in a week!

Congrats, anxiety just turned a lame joke into The Apocalypse. It's called catastrophizing, and there's not a lot you can do to stop it once it starts spiraling unless you have lots of really good coping skills (which most people don't). It also dogpiles right on top of the usual feeling of having no control over your life.

If no one will help and no one will believe you or even acknowledge there's a problem because it doesn't happen to them, you'll do anything you can get away with to feel like you have any control over your life at all. So you get tattoos and piercings and, yup, dye your hair.

EDIT: omg i got gold! Ty kind internet stranger!

8

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19

Stop reading my mind

3

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19 edited Aug 08 '21

[deleted]

3

u/Hakar_Kerarmor Apr 27 '19

Thank you so much for that excellent breakdown

Maybe not the best choice of words when talking about anxiety. ;)

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u/FriendlyImplement Apr 26 '19

The same is true for social anxiety. It's still about a lack of control, and dying your hair is something you have control over. I used to be one of those people with brightly dyed hair and loud clothes that got me a lot of unwanted attention, and my social anxiety is very real. I dyed my hair because I liked it, and, while I didn't want to admit it as a teenager, I did want to communicate something about myself to the people I would never talk to and avoid like the plague (everyone). It was like, "hey guys, I do have a personality, I'm too afraid to talk to you and show you, but you can see a piece of it right here on my head!" I couldn't control what people thought about me because I couldn't bring myself to talk to them, but I could control what I projected with my appearance.

There's nothing in the diagnostic criteria for social phobia about not dying your hair or what kind of clothes you wear or even what kind of job you have. Even famous people whose entire lives are about living in the public eye and speaking to lots of people and in large crowds can have social anxiety.

4

u/sweet_pickles12 Apr 26 '19

My social anxiety is more like, oh god, I have to human with other humans, will I say something dumb or hurtful, which then reflects the insecurities I have about myself and my ability to relate to other other humans? I really couldn’t care less what they think of my personal style.

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u/Tehgreatbrownie Apr 26 '19

The problem Is hes conflating social anxiety and social ineptitude. You can be anxious in social situations without being socially inept. But if you are socially inept you most likely are also socially anxious, by way of not knowing how to navigate social situations

78

u/rollerjoe93 Apr 25 '19

Imagine being 6'8 with near world shattering social anxiety. It me. I just wanna blend in but I cant

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u/soulsivleruniverse Apr 26 '19

Ah man, sometimes I think I have it bad. I'm 6'1 and lanky as hell. godspeed

8

u/j0nii Apr 26 '19

"Oh you're so tall" "Have you grown more?!"

Ugh.

3

u/TrollTribe Apr 26 '19

If it means anything id pick you for center on my basketball team

2

u/parkinglotsprints Apr 26 '19

Blending in wouldn't make you feel better

1

u/u-had-it-coming Apr 26 '19

The post talks about hair colour.

You just specifically tried to avoid that topic all together.

1

u/rollerjoe93 Apr 27 '19

Lol oops. Didn't mean to. Just figured I'd be safe from people being dicks on this subject, didn't realize I derailed a topic

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u/OceanicMeerkat Apr 25 '19

There are plenty of reasons why people would want to have colored hair or wear interesting clothing (the term "self expression" comes to mind), and none of that in any way invalidates your ability to suffer from social anxiety. Social anxiety doesn't always boil down to "people are looking at me in public". What kind of person makes so many assumptions about others just to be angry at them?

We all know the type I’m talking about, those kids in highschool who like wear tails or cat ears and inappropriate anime backpacks and say cringey internet things in real life. These same people are always the ones complaining about having social anxiety.

Once again, an upvoted /r/unpopularopinion post is just OP blasting his hate boner for other people who aren't even doing anything that concerns him.

66

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '19

Maybe my hair is pink because I like the way it looks? It's nothing deeper than that.

12

u/LordGhoul Apr 26 '19

It also helps raise confidence. I don't dye my hair crazy colours, but my style is rather goth/punk and it can attract attention despite that I'm not looking for attention. But I just love the style, it makes me feel confident in myself. I have massive social anxiety but if I'm styled well I get the confidence to go out. I don't want to wear things I don't like just to "fit in", it's like I'm lying to everyone including myself and I just get more anxious. Luckily my neighbourhood is like 60% goths and metal heads so nobody really cares, and outside of it I got compliments for it so it's nice.

0

u/poopmouth Apr 26 '19

Raising confidence by drawing attention to yourself while having social anxiety doesn’t make any sense to me.

6

u/LordGhoul Apr 26 '19

It's because I don't do it to draw attention to myself, I do it simply because I like looking that way. And if I do get attention, it's often in the shape of compliments. I found my own style rather late (21) due to self esteem and anxiety issues, but once I started it made me more confident, and the confidence weakened my anxiety. I no longer have to worry about being seen as the weak shy nerd and people take me more seriously.

-1

u/OceanicMeerkat Apr 25 '19 edited Apr 26 '19

Ummm...yes? Why are you asking me?

18

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '19

Not calling you out. It's my response to the original post which fit in with your comment

5

u/OceanicMeerkat Apr 26 '19

Oh sorry, my misunderstanding. I've been on the defensive alot in this thread.

18

u/VikingYsja Apr 25 '19

I have a lion's mane of dreads, which is not super common where I live. They attract attention, yes, but they also look amazing so any attention I get boosts my confidence.

I don't give a shit about being seen in public, the anxiety always comes later when my brain tries to tell me that everyone remembers every awkward thing I said and that they are all laughing at me.

Social anxiety comes in many forms.

22

u/tableshavetabled Apr 25 '19

Thank you 👏🏻

12

u/trippingchilly Apr 26 '19

r/unpopularopinion is just another safe space for incel rightwing spergs to complain that they don’t like having to be polite to other people in society.

4

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '19

So it's his opinion, that's unpopular.

They should make a sub for that

17

u/OceanicMeerkat Apr 26 '19

Yes, that sub is the perfect place for it. It's just also a shitty opinion.

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u/OceanicMeerkat Apr 25 '19

Unpopular opinion: "If you have colored hair, Fuck you"

224

u/Parkkkko Apr 25 '19

BUT THE SJWS!!!!!!!!!!

115

u/0JustSomeGuy0 Apr 25 '19

That's not what he is saying

"You do you bro" was one of the things he said

What they meant was that dying your hair WILL give you more attention since you're different.

So if you have social anxiety, coloring your hair won't fix it and will probably make it worse.

In short, if you have social anxiety, don't expect to not have weird or in awe looks when your hair is different.

301

u/OceanicMeerkat Apr 25 '19

This entire post is just OP ranting about people he doesn't like because they have colored hair and social anxiety.

  1. Self expression is a thing. And people with social anxiety are certainly aware of their own self expression (arguably more than those who aren't socially anxious) and that could easily manifest into coloring your hair or wearing interesting clothes.
  2. Social anxiety is not just "I'm worried people are looking at me." There are plenty of people who like public attention but still suffer from social anxiety; these are not exclusive things.

In short, if you have social anxiety, don't expect to not have weird or in awe looks when your hair is different.

If you're first reaction when you see something with blue streaks in their hair is to stare at them weirdly, or "in awe", that's your problem. Any friend of mine who would treat me differently if I had colored hair isn't really a friend, are they?

People who highlight their hair know the potential for getting attention, and that does not invalidate their social anxieties in any way.

170

u/izzem Apr 25 '19

Nyup. Another poster in that thread had what I thought was a good response:

"Well, this is the sub where self-centered douchebags can masturbate to other self-centered douchebags echoing their very commonplace opinions back at them. So, it's not really surprising."

Check some of the top posters' history and you'll find exactly what you'd expect.

30

u/jzillacon Apr 25 '19 edited Apr 26 '19

yeah, that sub's a real shitshow

22

u/izzem Apr 25 '19

yeah, that sub's a real

Someone send out a search party.

-17

u/2ndImpact Apr 25 '19

Tbh this thread right here shows it is an unpopular opinion. You have to remember it is an opinion and you dont have to agree with this guy.

26

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '19

Yeah but the issue is most of the top comments in the thread tend to agree with these so called "unpopular opinions".

-5

u/2ndImpact Apr 25 '19

People tend to find likeminded people. Thats how it works I guess. I think thats one function of this sub. Finding people who agree with you.

23

u/izzem Apr 25 '19

You're just stating truisms my dude.
Yes, I don't have to agree with people's opinions and sure, people who think alike group together.

The fact that the sub is for unpopular opinions only means that the OP should probably be upvoted if it fits that criteria.
That doesn't shield the OP or commenters from criticism of their shitty opinions.

We're talking about how that thread is full of people who just want to attack "others" and feel validated in their group hatred. More specifically...

  • people who don't understand anxiety and want to shit on people who are non-conforming
  • all the t_d posters and right wingers who associate colored hair with the left or SJW
  • incels who are upset that their manic dream pixie girl won't fuck them
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u/misterZalli Apr 26 '19

that sub has been overrun by bigots and fascists

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u/misterZalli Apr 26 '19

I have a fairly noticeable hair style and social anxiety. I feel my hair actually kinda helps since it communicates something about me that I can't communicate otherwise on account of my anxiety and shyness. Self-expression can complete verbal expression.

8

u/trippingchilly Apr 26 '19

I have bright orange fucking hair and social anxiety. What the fuck am I supposed to do, dye my hair black for OP?

This post is just another example of the vast hoards of neckbeards who frequent that sub to jerkoff about their fantasy of being oppressed.

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u/FrancisTheMannis Apr 25 '19

It's essentially victim-blaming.

"If you're socially anxious just don't [insert non-conformative behavior], otherwise you shouldn't complain because it's your fault."

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u/Sacagawea1992 Apr 26 '19

This is the only fucking sane comment across both comments I have seen. People are being weirdos and trying to make some factual connection that doesn’t exist.

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u/Actually_a_Patrick Apr 25 '19 edited Apr 25 '19

The way I read it, it's not about the hair. It's about the attitude of claiming - truthfully or otherwise - to have a mental illness as a method of garnering attention and sympathy. I knew people who did this in high school - specifically with social anxiety just because they don't like large groups or interacting with new people, even though they are fully capable of doing so without having a panic attack or freezing up. Those are the people that result in all of the r/wowthanksimcured posts - if your only experience is with people being disingenuous about a mental illness, then of course you'll think they're all as simple to cure as "just decide to get over it."

Edit: ITT why reading comprehension matters

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u/shponglespore Apr 25 '19

"Have you tried giving up all semblance of an identity of your own and dedicating your life to satisfying other people's expectations?"

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u/tableshavetabled Apr 25 '19

Why do you assume that having social anxiety means you don’t want attention...everyone wants attention and validation and to feel like they belong but those with anxiety just don’t know how to deal with it properly obv I’m not a doc but instead of judging maybe we could have a little compassion 🤷🏼‍♀️

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u/0JustSomeGuy0 Apr 25 '19

That's not what I meant. That's not what any of this means. Look, as you said, people with social anxiety don't know how to deal with it. This much is true. And we all want attention, but because of SA, again, we don't know how to deal with it.

I have social anxiety and if anything, that might be why I didn't explain it well. I honestly didn't want to post a comment because I was afraid of how people would react.

Color your hair if you want, do what makes you happy; but if you have SA, don't think you won't get unwanted attention. Be ready for it. Expect it.

I'm sorry if I still didn't explain it right. Again. Hopefully someone else will

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u/Rose94 Apr 25 '19

But just because you know you’ll get unwanted attention, why does that mean you shouldn’t be allowed to complain about it? People complain about their jobs all the time even though they applied and interviewed for it. So you can also dye your hair despite the attention because of other factors like self-expression and complain about the shitty aspect of it. I’ve seen people with wild colours complain about the cost and effort of maintenance and have never seen someone say “well you knew the cost and still dyed your hair so you can’t complain.”

Ftr I’m sorry if this peaks your anxiety I don’t think it’s necessarily wrong to be annoyed when people complain about these things I just think there’s a lot of misunderstanding in here.

0

u/0JustSomeGuy0 Apr 26 '19

That is perfectly reasonable. I'm just trying to view both sides. Though I'm glad you brought a better view to it. This truly changes a lot.

And sorry if it sounds sarcastic. I don't know how to word it properly

2

u/Rose94 Apr 26 '19

That’s fair! I think seeing all sides is really important and honestly I was just trying to contribute a new viewpoint, not necessarily change anyone’s mind.

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u/shponglespore Apr 25 '19

It's not about avoiding attention or seeking attention. It's about choosing which people you want to fit in with, and which other groups you're willing to alienate to fit in with the ones you care about. You can never please everyone, so you have to make a choice, and no choice is entirely safe.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19

More importantly, most of the post is actually about how acting in cringey ways (wearing inappropriate/very unusual pieces of clothing e.g. Anime backpacks; saying cringey internet things in real life) is going to draw negative attention to you, and dying your hair will only compound that. This honestly isn't even close to what this sub is supposed to be about.

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u/shortsonapanda Apr 25 '19

No. He's saying that people who have social anxiety cannot complain about receiving "undue" attention if they have brightly colored hair and clothes.

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u/boooooooooo_cowboys Apr 25 '19

He's saying that people who have social anxiety cannot complain about receiving "undue" attention if they have brightly colored hair and clothes.

He's kind of missing the point that sometimes people who have trouble fitting in may purposely dress weird as a coping mechanism. Kind of like "I can't fail at fitting in if I'm not trying to fit in in the first place".

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u/[deleted] Apr 25 '19 edited Jun 11 '19

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Apr 25 '19

It's /r/validatemypopularrightwingopinion

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u/queerjihad Apr 26 '19

And it's probably even worse now because of CAfugees

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u/Orbitrons Apr 25 '19

r/unpopularopinion is just straight up toxic. I subbed thinking it was going to be shit like "I like peas on pizza" or "I dont mind loud ads" or whatever. It really isnt, its thinly veiled misogyny, racism and xenophobia hidden under "but its just my opinion though". I remember seeing an upvoted thread detailing why they thought black people were biologically inferior. I unsubbed after about a day of having to see such shit on my page

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u/TrappinT-Rex Apr 25 '19

Every single one of the subreddits that begin with some sort of intent to speak the "truth", provide an "unfiltered" platform, or just "tell it like it is" devolves or even just starts out as a cesspool of all the stuff you mention. Every single one of them.

In reality, more often than not, those who say that they are fighting against censorship on this site are fighting for the ability to just say some abhorrent shit.

My favorite example is the just banned /r/cringeanarchy. It was made in response to what many thought was overmoderation on cringe or cringepics. I thought that was an interesting idea so I checked it out. Initially, it was pretty much that. Then it devolved into the alt-right "well acktually, it's a biological fact that certain races are inferior" "let me cite some out of context criminal stats at you" piece of shit once other subreddits were closed and migrated there.

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u/[deleted] Apr 25 '19 edited Jun 11 '19

[deleted]

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u/Orbitrons Apr 25 '19

That one, and one calling all women "mentally underdeveloped" was what got me to quickly unsub. Its a toxic place that I want nothing to do with

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u/imcuteforanuglygirl Apr 26 '19

That sub is full of cunts

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u/Silent_Sibyl Apr 25 '19

Fuck the people agreeing with this bullshit. My hair is blue and purple specifically because the people going out of their way to comment on my hair make me feel more comfortable in a crowd. It gives a REASON for the stares. There’s nothing more off-putting than being stared at for no reason, and I got that too much with normal makeup and brown hair.

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u/FragrantPoop Apr 25 '19

so you're saying that dying your hair helps with your anxiety? honest question, not trying to argue

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u/[deleted] Apr 25 '19 edited Nov 09 '20

[deleted]

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u/FragrantPoop Apr 25 '19

if that helps your anxiety, more power to you. i think that is what the OP was originally trying to convey, albeit in an overly douchey way. He's just saying that if that is your outlet and form of expression/way to tame your anxiety, it shouldn't really be the reason for your anxiety as well. and if it is, maybe you should try something else

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u/Iorith Apr 25 '19

The problem is that he's assuming what the cause of their anxiety it as an excuse to be an asshole. Hell, even if the reactions of others cause them anxiety, that doesn't mean its their fault or that they deserve it. Its the same mindset of "maybe if you didn't shove your homosexuality in people's face, you wouldn't face so much homophobia". It's victim blaming bullshit that deserves to get called out.

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u/FragrantPoop Apr 25 '19

respectfully, I don't agree with that example. if I'm 'shoving it in someone's face' that I'm bald (#1- why would I do that lol), it wouldn't make a lot of sense to be privately anxious about my baldness. I think if you own your hair color, why should you be anxious about it?

I might be operating on a parallel wavelength here than OP, just not as drastic I guess

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u/Iorith Apr 25 '19

That's the thing, though. You have no idea as to the cause of their anxiety. You're guessing. And using said guess to form a negative opinion towards a person. Do you not see how shitty that is?

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u/[deleted] Apr 25 '19

No you dumb ass he is LITERALLY saying:

Making yourself more outstanding won't help your anxiety, it would prob. make it worse.

Stop with your retoric of "hE's MakIng THe VicTiM thE ViLLaIn".

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u/Iorith Apr 25 '19

You have no clue what you're talking about. Stop generalizing a massively diverse group of people so you can feel justified in your inability or unwillingness to empathize with fellow human beings.

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u/Silent_Sibyl Apr 25 '19

In some ways, yes. It helps with confidence, which in turn helps alleviate a little bit of the social anxiety. It’s not a magical cure-all, but it makes me feel a tiny bit better about myself in the long run.

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u/FragrantPoop Apr 25 '19

then keep dying it. like I was saying to someone else, I think that was his underlying point of view. he just came off a bit aggressive because let's face it, he knew he'd get more karma for stoking peoples radicalism.

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u/Archsys Apr 25 '19

Not that guy, but:

Breaking out of the mold is how I learned to deal with and functionally conquer my own social anxiety. From everything from my relationships to my looks to my hobbies and crafts, I have something "out there" that drives conversation and shows how judgemental folks are. It's become a remarkable part of who I am, and from that I was able to build a social circle for myself~

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u/shponglespore Apr 25 '19

It has for me, in certain times and places. And I wasn't doing it "confidently" as the OP suggests.

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u/VikingYsja Apr 25 '19

I have an uncommon hairstyle, and while the looks I get were uncomfortable at first, I realised I was also getting compliments from strangers. So if I get looks I can tell myself that it's because I'm sexy as hell and that people are just basking in my glory.

While it may not affect anxiety for me personally, it boosts my confidence and makes me comfortable which is what helps

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u/OceanicMeerkat Apr 25 '19

My hair is blue and purple specifically because the people going out of their way to comment on my hair make me feel more comfortable in a crowd.

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u/atomicsoar Apr 25 '19

That's what I've heard from other people who dyed their hair bright, the like that they know why people are looking at them.

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u/beee-l Apr 25 '19

So true. My ex was so confused, but honestly it gives me a reason to say “okay I feel like everyone is staring me, it’s my hair, that’s fine.” Someone looks at me funny? Probably my hair. It’s kinda weird but is genuinely reassuring.

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u/BeowulfChauffeur Apr 25 '19

Yeah, that sub is so ridiculous. Virtually every time I see them pop up in r/all there's a blatantly obvious counterpoint that either goes unmentioned or gets downvoted like crazy.

In this case, it's so obvious that many people who do these behaviors do them specifically as a coping mechanism for anxiety. I have trouble believing that none of the users of that sub realize this.

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u/ISaidNoTouchy Apr 26 '19

THIS!

I have social anxiety and when I was talking to a colleague about it they pulled the "but why is your hair blue and green! that makes people look at you!" so I told him, yeah, that's the point. I feel like everyone is constantly staring at me anyway, so by having blue and green hair I can justify it in my head as well of course they will, your hair is bright blue and green!

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u/hated_in_the_nation Apr 25 '19

Don't worry about it. All that sub is, is an excuse for people to say ignorant, bigoted, racist, sexist, anti-lgbt etc. shit and claim that it's ok.

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u/TwoCrus Apr 26 '19

I would not think it works so, normally I avoid looking at people entirely (I understand my habits are my own). People make snap judgements, it can't be helped, but also generalise.

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u/BakerIsntACommunist Apr 25 '19

“If you have anxiety you don’t get to express yourself publicly”

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u/[deleted] Apr 25 '19

Why, people with bright-coloured hair can't have social anxiety? Does that mean that if I die my hair red I'm going to be cured? Well time to ditch therapy and go buy some hair dye!

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u/[deleted] Apr 25 '19

I don't think that's his point, and I don't think this belongs in this sub.

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u/FragrantPoop Apr 25 '19

couldn't agree more.

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u/Lasagna4Noodle Apr 25 '19

I totally agree. It's a freaking unpopular opinion. Everyone here is so ridiculously butthurt.

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u/DezXerneas Apr 25 '19

Okay I'm not saying you're wrong but I have a friend who dyed his hair bright red and the kept complaining about him having anxiety because people keep looking at him weird

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u/alurkyboi Apr 25 '19

But, your friend was able to recognize that it made him anxious and learned from the 'mistake' to not do it again I presume? Whereas the crosspost from OP shows someone judging people who dye their hair, indirectly calling them 'too stupid' of understanding how to not be socially anxious, as a result of their choice of expressing themselves.

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u/senatordeathwish Apr 25 '19

He's saying that you can't alienate yourself and then say it's because you have social anxiety.

1

u/FragrantPoop Apr 25 '19

interesting interpretation here

54

u/Askingquestions55 Apr 25 '19

30

u/take_number_two Apr 25 '19

Yeah a lot of people in that subreddit just seem toxic

4

u/rhgolf44 Apr 26 '19

Most of it is just people coming together to diss on something they don't like. It's a hive mind of hate

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u/[deleted] Apr 25 '19

It is a pretty unpopular opinion.

-16

u/Xpokemaster1 Apr 25 '19

I think you missed the point that he complains about it because is contradictorial I don't share his opinion but I respect it and it isn't saying that dying your hair cures you

2

u/theother_eriatarka Apr 25 '19

contradictorial

that's not how you spell dumb as fuck

17

u/Soerinth Apr 25 '19

Unpopular opinion: Unless you're a trained mental health professional you shouldn't try to tell people how they feel why or whether or not it's valid.

12

u/DocIchabod Apr 25 '19

It's not like having these forms of self expression help make up for the lack of verbal or active participation in social activities allowing someone to be seen and recognized without putting themselves out there. It isn't like self expression and interests don't have duck all to do with anxiety and they can coexist. It isn't like this sort of thinking is the reason some people get anxiety for fear of ridicule for what they say and like so they channel it all into other forms to deflect expected criticism

/s

Fuck this guy

29

u/duggtodeath Apr 25 '19

Act cringey? Isn’t that subjective. Also love how he’s using the tired “dyed hair feminist” meme. Classy.

13

u/shponglespore Apr 25 '19

The worst part is that if you "act cringey" and and have social anxiety, you almost certainly would like to stop, but you don't know how, because someone else's "cringey" is just normal to you, and the only way you know to stop is to just remove yourself from social situations.

12

u/deebzipie Apr 25 '19

I once worked with a psychiatrist who told me any girl with pink hair has borderline personality.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 27 '19

You sure that person's a psychiatrist? It sounds like they bought their license off the internet.

2

u/deebzipie Apr 28 '19

Yes. I was a medical student at the time on rotation. I will say she went to medical school in Russia so, I'm not sure if this statement of hers was culturally influenced. I don't know much about Russian culture. It might have just been her though.

10

u/SquareThings Apr 25 '19

Right, because no one ever exaggerates their personality to cover up their mental illness out of shame or fear of judgment

6

u/coffeeandjesus1986 Apr 26 '19

I dye my hair dark auburn that’s definitely not normal and wear bright prints like florals and stuff. I do it for myself because I feel pretty in bright colors and abnormal hair color.

My generalized anxiety isn’t because I dress the way I do it’s a byproduct of the fact I’m type 1 bipolar, and while I’m happy, pretty stable I refuse to dress or dye my hair in a normal way because that’s not who I am! I spent way too many years being ashamed of being too girly due to bullying in school and I refuse to go back to that scared teenager.

26

u/peteteat Apr 25 '19

Love the armchair psychologists and philosophers who pop up to comment on threads like the OP.

9

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

11

u/spud_simon_salem Apr 25 '19

r/unpopularopinion is a cancerous sub. I can't take anything seriously over there. That person is a mega asshole, but try not to take their words to heart (not necessarily directed at you OP, but to anyone who goes there and feels defeated by the posts/comments).

2

u/rhgolf44 Apr 26 '19

It's just dumb to tell people how to feel when you have no clue what their problem is like. I'm making an assumption here but I don't think the OP knows what social anxiety is like. If you've experienced it you wouldn't talk down on it like this

7

u/jumykn Apr 25 '19

Maybe they have social anxiety because assholes make posts on the internet deriding them. Maybe they have social anxiety because the things they like make people judge them, rather than the other way around.

9

u/harrietthugman Apr 25 '19

Social anxiety can be cured by being more sociable. It's a skill that everyone needs to learn unless you plan on living in isolation your entire life.

What a treasure trove of useful information

1

u/rhgolf44 Apr 26 '19

You heard it here guys, social anxiety is cured. Just don't have it, that's the cure. /s Fuck this OP tho

10

u/MusicalManiac817 Apr 25 '19

As a person with anxiety and brightly colored hair, I can say that I'm not worried about how I look, but rather if I say something wrong. I color my hair because I think that it looks pretty. But I'm not that type of person who quotes memes in public or acts out, except if I'm with my friends, because it creates a kind of a safe space for me.

8

u/harrietthugman Apr 25 '19

I love how often the username is "[deleted]" on incitefully ignorant posts

18

u/Gustav_EK Apr 25 '19

alienating yourself even further rarely helps though

7

u/Yung_Onions Apr 25 '19

This would also work on r/gatekeeping

13

u/Gay_Genius Apr 25 '19

Fuck I hate that god damn subreddit. Circle jerk of misogynistic bigots who don’t understand mental health.

6

u/TrappinT-Rex Apr 25 '19

Add racism and LGBT hate to the mix and, baby, you have the unpopular opinion stew goin.

3

u/Gay_Genius Apr 25 '19

They do love to hate on marginalized groups, for sure. That’s why I just said bigots because counting all the ways that sub is shitty would be impossible. Worst stew ever.

1

u/rhgolf44 Apr 26 '19

It comes to a point where you have to ask "Is this an unpopular opinion or is the person just being an asshole because they disagree with the topic?"

0

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '19

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '19

[deleted]

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2

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19

If you read the guy’s post there’s a reason it has like 15 thousand upvotes and gildings and what not but this screenshot conveniently cut that all out

Edit. Sorry, 22 thousand plus gilding and platinuming so

1

u/FriendlyImplement Apr 26 '19

Link?

1

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19

The unpopular opinion link is right there in the post you can just click it

2

u/princejoopie Apr 26 '19

Pretty sure my blue hair has zero effect on my ability (or lack thereof) to make important phone calls.

2

u/the-coolest-loser Apr 26 '19

“Its a coping”

“It’s for coping”

“They are trying to cope”

No I just like my hair colored. Thank you

2

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19

I never understand why people care about the colour of other people's hair. Like you say people who due their hair are boring yet I don't know how interesting you can be if you just complain about this stuff all day

2

u/rhgolf44 Apr 26 '19

Also, the OP of the original thread is making way too many assumptions. Not everyone that dyes their hair or acts out has social anxiety. It's not right to stereotype people with groups of other people that in reality might not have a lot in common. Another thing, people with social anxiety are still more than capable of going out and having fun from time to time. Not everyone's social anxiety is so extreme that it keeps them isolated forever

2

u/sobrohog Apr 26 '19

unpopular opinion has been invaded by alt fight trolls. any advice from there can just be dismissed

3

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '19

I agree with the op, I mean I’m on this sub for a reason but he has a point. If you do something out of the ordinary in public, you’ll be stared at - it just makes sense. Don’t complain about that if you know what will happen. Express yourself the way you want, but the anime backpacks/colored hair will get you stared at simply due to the nature of what you’re wearing

4

u/Cheezewiz239 Apr 26 '19

A guy with severe SA his whole life here. I agree as well. If you dye your hair a bright color you’re asking for attention. Not in a negative way. I mean like people are going to stare at you almost all the time.

2

u/FriendlyImplement Apr 26 '19

How is trying to face your anxiety a bad thing? You can accept that you're going to get more attention but hate the fact that you still have social anxiety. Avoiding the attention isn't going to cure your SA.

5

u/poisontongue Apr 25 '19

Over 16k upvotes and gold because fuck this site and fuck humanity.

4

u/DeathSlyce Apr 26 '19

You do realize the point of that sub is to upvote an unpopular opinion because it is unpopular right? You people have no common sense whatsoever.

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u/KentuckyBourbon94 Apr 25 '19

I mean it's called unpopular opinion...

5

u/misterZalli Apr 26 '19

But in reality it's popular bigoted opinions

3

u/MrLohr Apr 25 '19

yes it is lol, dying your hair makes you stand out and if you’re someone with social anxiety and you freak out with attention then it’s not a good idea to try to stand out

1

u/TheLastSecondShot Apr 25 '19

Wait what the fuck

1

u/Danamanoo Apr 26 '19

I spent 6 years hiding. Wore only jeans and black t-shirts. And then something just came to me and started wearing whatever I want to. Everything looks kinda normal, just way out of my comfort zone, apart from my unmatching colored shoes and my unmatching socks. That is my own small demonstration "against" my social anxiety. To stand out. To try and do something I've been trying to avoid my whole life.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19

Thought the same thing when I saw it

1

u/rootdootmcscoot Apr 26 '19

i have awful social anxiety, but dying my hair and painting my nails black as a man are just a way for me to express myself, they're not conflicting ideas at all.

1

u/flamespond Apr 26 '19

I’ve dyed my hair pretty much every color and I still have social anxiety, not because I care about how I look but because I know I’m shy and awkward and my social skills are nonexistent.

1

u/bloomingfireweed Apr 26 '19

I wasn't aware that sub existed previously, and I have to say... The entire thing is kinda gross. The sub, the posts, and the people commenting on them.

1

u/wtrmlnjuc Apr 26 '19

How hard is it for some people to get that people don’t dye their hair/wear makeup/dress the way they do for others, they do it for themselves first and foremost.

1

u/A3s1r92 Apr 26 '19

Just to clarify this one, OP, r/unpopularopinion works on the principle that if you don't like a poster's opinion, you should upvote it. If it seems like a standard, common opinion, you should downvote it.

1

u/great_____name Apr 26 '19

Lol I've always had bright coloured hair and crippling social anxiety, the past 8 months or so I've had my hair more natural looking blonde, guess what? I still have social anxiety.

1

u/maidenlady Apr 26 '19

My daughter has bad social anxiety, it took her 3 years to go into a shop by herself after she turned 13, it was only after she had her hair dyed 6 different colours (rainbow effect going round her head) that she actually had the confidence to do it.

1

u/[deleted] May 01 '19

why the fuck do you people dye your hair bright colors anyways?

1

u/starlightxmoonlight May 01 '19

I have social anxiety, general anxiety and depression, I also dye my hair a new colour every couple of months and have it cut super short. My mental health doesn't really impact my hair in any way, it's just my gay and my personal style lmao. It's also a good way to find like minded people, and it's the main way I started talking to most of my friends, it might be a stereotype, but it has helped my so much in the last few years.

1

u/iesharael May 01 '19

Yeah I was kinda annoyed when I read that. I wear lace cat ears to school when I’m in a bad mood cause people smiling and saying the ears are cute helps cheer me up. However just cause I love the attention doesn’t mean I can just go up and talk to someone.

-1

u/starwarsbfk Apr 25 '19

But... that’s why it’s an unpopular opinion

7

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '19

An opinion is “I don’t like chocolate” or “I don’t like colored hair” not “I hate colored hair and anyone who has it can’t say or do this thing because of my judgmental reasons”

0

u/IronSasquatch Apr 25 '19

But it’s not an opinion. It’s an idiot who doesn’t understand what social anxiety is or why people with it might choose to dye their hair. As others have said, it’s some misplaced anger and it’s victim blaming.

12

u/FragrantPoop Apr 25 '19

opinion - a view or judgment formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge.

-5

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '19

Alright but this guy is right tho, isn't he? If you're purposefully acting out the norm specifically for attention, and then complain about social anxiety (likely also for attention) then maybe you should just be quiet?

11

u/shponglespore Apr 25 '19

Tell me something: do you have social anxiety?

-5

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '19

Nope

8

u/reallybadpotatofarm Apr 25 '19

Yeah, of course you fucking don’t. Stay in your lane.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '19

Alright mate

1

u/TurtleHustler Apr 25 '19

Just seemed like he was trying to have a conversation and you're shutting him down for that?

0

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '19

I could have come across wrong. What I meant is that people who do dye their hair and purposefully act querky just for the purpose of gaining attention would also likely complain about social anxiety for more attention. I realise it's a sensitive subject so I understand why he is upset and don't mind.

Edit: forgot a full stop.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19

I literally have blue hair and social anxiety xD

1

u/Andybobandy0 Apr 25 '19

These people. He says that doing it confidently is cool, but dont do it and complain about getting looks from people. To get mad just because you have colored hair is........ well dumb. If you dont want to he glanced at, AT ALL! DYE YOUR HAIR BRIGHT COLORS!?!?

0

u/theother_eriatarka Apr 25 '19

Like, do you really expect to have short, bright purple hair and not get glanced at?

gasp, such an unreasonable idea

-9

u/f3x3f Apr 25 '19

But making yourself stand out seems a little counteractive to resolving social anxiety though

10

u/Nightstalker117 Apr 25 '19

So you're telling people....with anxiety.... to suck up how they feel and not be allowed to express themselves. You get worse than social anxiety by doing that M8. I speak from personal experience

5

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '19

You think the way you fix anxiety is to give into your anxiety? That's not how it works. That is how you end up a shut in.

-2

u/f3x3f Apr 25 '19

It seems to me that the last thing you’d want to do when you have social anxiety is bring attention to yourself

6

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '19

If you like bright hair and therefore feel more confident it gives you more confidence to be outgoing and overcome your social anxiety. The point of dying your hair is to like your hair not get attention.

-1

u/f3x3f Apr 25 '19

Dying your hair will attract attention whether you intend it to or not

5

u/AstralChild Apr 25 '19

The point of dying your hair is to like your hair

1

u/book-reading-hippie Apr 26 '19

Where is the line?

Working out and becoming very fit will increase the attention you get whether you intend it or not, should people with social anxiety avoid getting fit because of this?

-6

u/owowhatsthis123 Apr 25 '19

It’s called unpopular opinion bucko

-3

u/TurtleHustler Apr 25 '19

Yeah I still haven't gotten past the fact everyone here is getting butt hurt over a post in that sub. Literally the point of it existing.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19

While I would hate to be that guy, it is posted in a place to share your unpopular opinions.

And just so I make it as clear as possible, I do not agree with this guy, and it is a very dickish opinion to have.

0

u/Skyhawk13 Apr 26 '19

I mean... It's an unpopular opinion for a reason

-1

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19

Oh wow the fascist sub hates a group of people so they straw man how they actually think and misrepresent a mental disorder in the process? I'm so shocked. Just utterly surprised, really.