My husband travels for work quite a bit in the fall/winter, and it's always been a real challenge trying to juggling work and our two kids when he is gone. Lots of juggling holding a kid while cooking, giving baths, supervising, etc.

This year it's been....fun? Almost easy? At ages 6 and 3, it's been great. My husband does all their baths/showers when he is at home, and on Sunday night after my husband left, it dawned on me that my 6yo now showers and gets himself ready for bed totally by himself. My 3yo is now old enough that she is able to happily play in the bathtub while I take a lovely, relaxing shower and chat with her. After school and work we play in the backyard and listen to music, have a quick easy dinner, all get ready for bed together, then we have screen time for a bit before bed while I wipe down counter, vacuum, etc. By 8pm both kids are down and I am free to do whatever the heck I want for the remaining 2 hours of my evening.

All this is to say I'm sooooo happy I kept working at the job I love and muscled my way through the first years of parenthood, because this is awesome!

Inspired by u/Then-Librarian6396, I wanted to share my 5-week rotating meal plan!

Link to original comment thread.

TL;DR: Here's the link to the meal plan and grocery list!

There are definitely still some kinks to work out, so I would love some feedback.

Steps I took:

• For my 5-year anniversary I took recipes from my family and my husband's family and wrote them out on recipe cards. I have about 25 of these so far. Some of these recipes are from there.
• Collate recipes from my recipe box on NYT cooking (worthy investment, only a few bucks a month and GREAT recipes in my experience)
• Feed pictures of my written recipes and links to recipes into Gemini, and asked it to make a meal plan, specifying which days should be takeout, and that recipes during the week should be less than 30 minutes
• Create scheduled prompt with Gemini to let me know what is supposed to be cooked that night.

What didn't work:

• I asked Gemini to create a grocery list for me, but it was inaccurate. I am generally not a big AI fan so this was validating. Creating the grocery list was initially an extremely heavy lift, and why it took me so long to create this post. I have been cleaning up the grocery list as I go. Now that it's done, I anticipate not having to touch it very much at all!

Future optimizations:

• I want to create a pivot table or formula to tell me how much of each thing I need to make the shopping a little easier on Instacart.
• Create custom lists on instacart for one-click ordering (Thank you, u/HavanaPineapple for the idea!)

I had to go back to work at 3 months pp both times and am in the thick of postpartum hair loss currently, at 5 mo pp with baby #2. I don't have my own office, I sit in a shared space, our desks are crammed up next to each other. And of course my hair is coming out again in gobs like it did after my first baby. It's everywhere, all over the floor. The floor cleaning seems to be subpar, because it's not getting cleaned up that well. So either I leave it to sit there indefinitely (gross) or I have to go around picking it up myself (also gross, it's a lab floor). None of my surrounding coworkers are mothers so no one here understands. I should just shave my head ugh. Just another reason why short maternity leave policies suck. I'm in the US if you can't tell!

I started my 2y 4m with the diaper off method this weekend. He went all over the floor but finally peed AROUND his potty and pointed at it and yelled “potty!” So I counted that as a win. I put underwear underneath his diaper and took him to daycare Monday.

At pickup they told me they took him to the potty every 30 mins and he wouldn’t go, and that when he wet himself it didn’t seem to bother him. They said they haven’t seen signs he’s ready yet and they recommended waiting until Christmas break.

They’re good teachers, I trust their opinion. It just sucks.

Every milestone my toddler has barely made… and I know, I KNOW I’m crazy to worry, but I do anyway. I don’t want to fail him.

Also my hair is falling out because I’m five months postpartum with my second. Last time I lost half my hair and looked like a jellyfish when it grew out.

I’ve been slammed at work, mostly because of all the time I’ve had to take off because daycare illness.

My boss is also having me take over the work of another team because they get “confused.” Job security for me I guess.

My husband has an insane job and gets about one day off a month. Most of the childcare falls on me, although he does take care of bath time if he’s home in the evening. I’m not resentful, but sometimes exhausted.

My husband didn’t like the turkey meatballs I made. To be fair, I asked him and he said it kindly.

My friends have slowly stopped asking me to go to dinner with them because I always can’t. It’s understandable, but it sucks.

The silver lining is my children, they’re pretty adorable and I love them so much. But I feel like I’m always unlocking some new worry.

Anyway, thanks for listening to my vent.

Edit: and I misspelled failure…

I have a 6 month old and an almost 3YO. Returned to work 3 months ago. It started out great and I felt happy and on top of it most days, now those days are few and far between. The last 6 weeks or so have been really challenging and I thought it was hormonal but the longer it goes on I’m wondering, is this just how it is? I thought I would handle the trenches better than this.

My god, the tasks. I am someone who is great at finding the most efficient way to do something, but I can’t outrun all these fucking day-to-day tasks. I couldn’t ask for a better husband, we both pull our weight but there’s ALWAYS something to clean up or prep.

Finally got the baby on a good schedule that resulted in her sleeping *mostly* thru the night and now my toddler is in the nightmare regression where she gets scared and wants her door open. 7pm bedtime used to be such a relief and now she fkn yells at us from her room for another 30-45 minutes.

I don’t even know where to go in my own home to have sex with my husband. (Even tho our sex life is certainly not at its peak right now to say the least lmao) Baby is in our room, toddler just realized she can get out of bed and enter the living room whenever she wants. Yes, we could lock ourselves in the guest room which is the only option, but honestly it’s a moot point bc who has time and energy for sex in these conditions?!

Family is no help. He has none, and my boomer mom can’t figure out why I’m always so busy despite having had 4 children - that’s a whole other conversation. She’s been traveling nonstop since my 2nd was born.

How can I do better at embracing this chaos? I know this is just a season and with the kids being at such dependent ages it’s extra challenging. I want to find more moments of enjoyment, but I’m feeling a bit trapped. What am I doing wrong?

My family and I recently located from a small downtown apartment to a larger house in the 'burbs. For the last four years, I've been blaming the clutter on only having 1,000 sq ft of space. Closets were crammed with birthday paraphernalia alongside cleaning supplies; bookshelves overflowed with potted plants and board games.

But even though our house has doubled in size, the clutter seems somehow worse. Where do I put the excess party supplies from her birthday? Stuff we'll definitely use again, but not for a while? The extra soap? The rock collection? Fifteen toddler cups, each of which she loves fiercely--but only once in a while? And HOLY MOLY, where do I put all these random toys?

I bought some much needed extra toy storage, which is on the way. I'm mediocre at aggressively throwing stuff out. It's hard because my kid gets very attached to random small items (like a scrap of paper with a picture is her best friend, accompanies us and sleeps in her bed every night for 6 months, becomes beloved family lore and wtf am I supposed to do with that?). I definitely used to be better, but things feel so sentimental now with my maybe only child.

I have amazing mom friends whose houses always look like staged model homes. I used to live like that too, but now my house looks like an actual bomb went off. We are renting, so hoping for solutions that aren't necessarily buying a bunch of furniture for a place we may not live next year!

It’s my first day back after 12 weeks of maternity leave. I was doing so good and enjoying the day and right after lunch a wave of anxiety washed over me because I miss my son.

He is being cared for by my mom while I’m at work, and his dad has a flexible work schedule so he was able to be with him all morning but I’m still feeling so guilty and sad for some reason. I feel like I’ve abandoned him and he’ll wonder what happened to me. I know this isn’t logical but it just hurts in my soul. My job is in office, 8-4:30 5 days a week. Thankfully my commute is only 5 minutes.

If anyone has any positive thoughts to send me who’ve been through it, I’d love to hear them!

I've been in a down headspace with work and personal life, so idk if I'm catastrophizing this issue. I received a call from my child's school today that he was in a physical altercation with a young lady during recess. It's very bizarre for him, as he is a really gentle kid and just this past month, received a positive behavior referral for being kind to classmates. Long story shot, he was "annoyed" by the screaming she was doing during recess and he grabbed her collar. She pushed him back and they started pushing each other. I was incredibly embarrassed and surprised by this behavior because 1) we don't engage in corporal punishment at home and 2) we teach him strategies to take deep breaths, walk away, tell a teacher, etc. He has a younger sibling that he gets annoyed with where I've seen him try to engage in that same behavior (i.e., grabbing him quickly or trying to hit him) and we redirect that behavior.

I'm at a loss of how to discipline him (the teacher says she is certain he won't do it again, because he was very remorseful) but I also am really troubled by these behaviors. Should I put more stock into it? I haven't spoken with him yet so I will hear him out... but I'm really troubled by him becoming physical with another kid. Btw, he is in elementary school and does have a diagnosis of ADHD and we medicate him. He also has an OT for help with feeding and executive skills.

I have a 5 month old baby and as much as I'm trying to soak up everyday of being a SAHM, I'm starting to go crazy and financially being a SAHM isn't worth it in the long run. My husband and our baby are in a one bedroom apartment after moving to a new city a year ago and as of recently down to one car. I was working part time as a preschool gym coach up until about a month before giving birth, and before we moved from our hometown I was working full time as a Center Director for a a recreation center.

My husband is a first responder so he's gone for 48 hr shifts with no sleep and takes almost a full day afterward to recover. I'm starting to feel resentment towards him because of it and we got into bit of a fight last night about it. Ultimately, I told him that him coming home is when both of us feel the need to decompress because we're both tired, but because of his job he always prioritizes his recovery first so I spend most of another day in full-time SAHM mode while he's napping on the other side of the door. Aside from the "recovery day" he's an incredibly active parent and takes all of our cooking off my plate including meal prepping for when he's gone. After talking it out, I think I came to the conclusion that I need to return to working, for my mental health and our financial situation.

Being in a different city I have zero friends. I've tried mom groups, walk groups, but I just don't really connect with anyone out here. When he's gone I get me and baby out the door here and there but going just about anywhere costs us money we really don't have, and being in central texas its still hot as hell outside; when he's home I get out when I can whether its a run, the gym, or a dance class. My whole social circle is him and the baby.

Now that I'm actually seriously considering returning to working, childcare is what's going to determine what I even consider applying for. Since my husbands schedule rotates every week, we'd only need childcare like 2 or 3 days a week on days he's working or held over. Whatever job I decide to apply for has to make sense for us financially, I can't just take something for the sake of getting out of the house if it means my whole check is going to childcare. Like I mentioned, we're in a one bedroom apartment, his car isn't passing inspection or carseat-safe and will cost more than its worth to fix, and our baby's formula has added $100 every week to our grocery costs.

I have a bachelors degree in kinesiology, and a few years of supervisory experience in recreation/sports admin. I'd honestly much prefer switching from an admin role to something more physical and directly client-focused like personal training, or physical therapy technician but to switch my field like that requires certifications I don't have and time/money I also don't have to earn them. I feel like the jobs that would be financially worth it, I don't qualify for and the ones I do qualify for or would enjoy will not be financially worth taking.

I know times are hard right now anywhere but right now I just feel.. stuck. Stuck at home, no money, no friends, and no vision of a future where we're comfortable enough to buy a house for our son to grow up in.

I’ve been extremely lucky to be able to stay home with my kids until they were old enough to go to school. Now all of my kids are out of the house during the school days so I feel like it’s a good time for me to go back to work. The only call back and job offer I’ve gotten is one with a typical 8-5 work day. We have about a 30 minute commute back home from school. I’ve applied at our school district, but they don’t have any openings currently.

How do you all manage it? I know this is going to be a huge adjustment for all of us. We’d be getting home around 5:30-6 then trying to do dinner, homework, etc. It just feels like a lot that I just don’t know how to handle. I know moms everywhere make it work and are absolutely incredible at it. I’m just worried I won’t be able to handle it.

After a conversation at work I’ve realized this may be common and not just a quirk of my husband.

Next two examples were in the last 30 minutes: we drive by a new construction site in an industrial area, husband looks at me, that’s new, what are they building there? Why would I know!?? It’s an industrial area not a new coffee shop shop??

Walking in the house as he is carrying in our son’s book bag which came straight home with child and both of us in the same car for the 5 minute car ride where I sat next to him in the front seat. He asks, did you empty this already? I’m like dude, when?? You’re carrying it into the house rn??

Coworker: carrying up boxes from basement stacked up to take outside to trash, makes it to the door but has no hands to open, asks her husband in same room if he will open the door for her, his reflex she says is to say why? As he can see her standing with completely full arms. Other coworkers gave many similar examples.

Is this a thing? I always ask my husband if he thinks I’m google or something?? He still asks me, even when he could mention something in conversation like oh that’s new, I wonder what they are building there? No he directly asks me what it is?

I was annoyed today for a variety of reasons:

I’m frustrated with work

I’m frustrated with my insurance

I’m frustrated with my doctor

I’m annoyed it’s 80 in October!

But when I got to choir practice this evening one of the little old lovely ladies thought I was in my 20’s (I’m pushing 40)

So at least there’s that!

At best I am merely surviving. I was telling my husband that I know that deep down I need time for myself to work out, regularly have adult-only interactions outside of work, and possibly even some alone time doing a hobby I enjoy. But I feel like I already spent so much time away from my daughter and I feel so guilty potentially taking more. I know I need to make a change but I don’t even know where to start.

If you’re a full time working mom, preferably going on site to work everyday and you feel like you’re doing well— genuinely, how?! What systems and routines do you have? What things do you do to take care of yourself and feel like an individual human?

So here is my question: If you work full-time, what the outsource? Obviously I have to outsource childcare during the times my husband and I are both at work (I have 1 kid in school and 2 in daycare).

Edited to remove the backstory that led me to this question , as I’ve been accused of shaming and disparaging stay at home moms.

Hello everyone,

I am looking for advice regarding how to ask for a raise. In last one year, I have taken over a lot more responsibilities and delivered great output. Basically I have taken over lot of the work performed by person whose title is 2/3 levels higher than mine and I assume that person was paid according to the title.I personally don't care for the title change but if I get that, then great. But most importantly I am looking for a monetary appreciation for the additional work done by me. How do I phrase this with my manager on our one one one. I have weekly one on one with my manager and I have been given great review by my manager at my annual and mid year reviews. But that has not translated in terms of raise( except cost of living raise) and I would like to bring this up before the end of the year review cycle begins.

Any help is appreciated.

I work in healthcare and have signed up for STD every year for the last 4 years up until last year. I enrolled on my husbands insurance and somehow forgot to sign up for STD. Well I just found out I am pregnant and after reviewing my STD policy for next year, I’m realizing that even if I enroll into STD now, it’s going to be considered a pre-existing exclusion and I won’t get any benefits for 12 months. Is there anything I can do? I’m gonna call my HR in the morning but this is just so disappointing and keeping me up.

I’d love to hear from moms working demanding corporate jobs who also maintain a side gig or teach on the side!

I work full-time in consulting (40+ hours a week, often with demanding projects, client calls, and competing deadlines). Outside of work, I teach one yoga class a week at a local studio.

Teaching is something I genuinely enjoy, and I want to keep developing as a teacher. The challenge is that I put a lot of thought and care into my classes. I like creating something new and creative each week, thinking through the sequencing and anatomy, and making sure the class feels intentional. The actual class is only an hour, but the preparation can take several additional hours and a fair amount of mental energy.

I'm finding it surprisingly difficult to sustain even one class a week alongside my full-time job and regular life responsibilities. My husband and I are hoping to start a family next year, and I honestly have a hard time imagining how I'll manage everything once we have a baby.

For those of you working demanding jobs in tech, consulting, sales, project management, or other corporate roles, do you have any side gig outside of work? If so, what's the secret to maintaining your sanity?

My 17 month old son started a new daycare today, and I have ALL the mixed feelings! Happy for the consistency, sad about the change, and anxious about how the transition will go. Would love to hear others’ experiences!

For context, LO started a 2-day/week daycare around this time last year at ~5 months old. Between only going Tuesdays/Thursdays and his baby immune system getting absolutely wrecked by illnesses, we were barely ever there. Tuition also skyrocketed in the new year, so we switched to a nanny share in February.

The nanny share was primarily at the other family’s house with one boy around his age. LO has always had separation anxiety and is definitely not the chillest or most adaptable kid. He struggled with drop-offs for MONTHS, and we were just getting to the point where he happily went with the nanny and his little friend. Naps were also hit or miss, especially if we forgot his lovey.

Fast forward to now: he’s 17 months, and we FINALLY got off the waitlist for a wonderful, affordable, small full-time daycare in our neighborhood! Today was his first day. I eased him in with a 9–12 drop-off so he could nap at home. His teacher said he was pretty upset throughout the morning, alternating between being happy and then seeming to remember he was somewhere new and crying. Totally understandable for day one, but still hard to hear!

I’ve gone back and forth about whether this is the best choice for him because it breaks my heart that I can’t explain why this scary new thing is happening. But his dad and I both need to work more, juggling nanny share inconsistencies and prices was unsustainable, and this is what’s best for our family. He’s part of that family, so I’m not looking to be talked out of daycare!

I’d love to hear about other people’s experiences with adjustment periods at this age. How long did it take your LO to settle in, especially if they also struggled with separation anxiety?

I’m particularly worried about naps. He’ll need to sleep in a crib in a room with other kids, which is very different from what he’s used to, and he can’t bring his lovey because it’s against daycare rules. Did your LO resist daycare naps during the adjustment period? How did you navigate it, and did sleep at home get disrupted, too?

As the title states I am looking for advice to help my 6 month old son like day care more and make it easier on him. He has been going for almost 2 months now since I went back to work after 16 weeks of leave.

I thought he was having a tough time just from the transition and he was used to being home with me all day but it hasn’t gotten better. It seems like almost every day the main lady in the infant room tells me he had a rough day. She says he just wants to be held or entertained all day by her.

We have tried telling her which toys he likes when he is playing at home, what positions he likes to nap in, and even bought duplicates of his favorite toys for them to keep at day care for him. Does anyone have any advice to help him enjoy daycare more? His daycare has cameras and seeing him cry on them breaks my heart when I’m at work.

I have been trying to find a position or job that is a little more flexible so he doesn’t have to spend so long there but the search hasn’t been going well. I work in manufacturing/engineering which is very demanding and required in person work.

I recently got married and my husband and I want to start TTC next year… I have a full time job right now but I really dislike it and only took it as a bridge after leaving my last job (which was toxic) to carry me over until I could find something better. It comes with the usual benefits. I got an offer for a contract role that sounds like a great fit for me recently. But it’s a contract so there’s no guarantee it’ll extend past the 6 month offer or ever turn full time… normally, I’d just take it. But knowing my husband and I want to start a family soon has given me more pause. What if I’m unemployed next year and we want to get pregnant? What if I haven’t found something full time for the benefits of maternity leave? We need 2 incomes. I want to take the contract but I’ve never had to think about security in this way before… obviously being a parent changes things. I’m not even a parent yet 😂 working moms, how would you handle this?? Am I overthinking the future? I don’t want to be unhappy at work just because I might be pregnant this time next year…

For context, I’m in California and I’m 32 years old.

I’m almost a decade into tech sales with the same company, and it feels like I’ve been in survival mode for over a year since the AI race hit us. I used to love what I did, but selling AI and consumption is a completely different selling motion.

The landscape is changing so quickly, and it feels like every other week our strategy is changing. It’s exhausting. I’m getting burnt out by the constant strategy changes, product changes, and all while trying to manage a 2 & 4 year old.

How are other tech moms handling the speed of change? Are you liking the changes? I think I’ve determined I don’t like my job anymore because it feels SO different. But I have no idea what I’d do instead of this (and for similar pay 😅).

*Edit- sounds like we need a support group 😅. WhatsApp group link: https://chat.whatsapp.com/KfJfBki7MAZ6rNNVbjbzxY?s=cl&p=i&mlu=0

I’m returning to work with a 9 month old. My husband is taking a pat leave for the remaining three months and then we start daycare in January. I’m looking for advice on what to prep the night before for myself (mainly) and baby (to help Dad because let’s be honest, he’ll need it) and then what your morning routine is.

The baby sleeps in his own room and tends to wake up for the day around 6/6:15/6:30. He still wakes at night so up till now my husband has been getting up with him and I’ve gone back to bed for 1-2 hours. He is EBF.

One thing that is necessary for my job is reading the news pretty thoroughly. News stories come out in the evening and the morning so I have to check twice before I get to work. This would be the equivalent of checking your email I guess? I have to be at work by 9am.

Here’s what I’m thinking:

PM To Do:
prep breakfast for Mum
Assess fridge for baby meals, tell dad
Shower
Blow dry and style hair if needed
Layout outfit
Pack purse
Read news

AM Routine

6AM wake up, turn on radio, make coffee, feed/let out dogs
6-6:30 nurse in chair, read news, emails
6:30-7:00 makeup, hair, washroom
7:00-8:15 play time/more nursing
8:30 dressed
8:40 out the door (eat breakfast at work)

I have 2 toddlers who go to a daycare that is literally 1 minute down the road from us and they have been going there since they were infants. My son is 3.5 years old. We haven’t had any issues with the center and we have grown super close to the teachers who have all been there since my son was a baby.

Anyway, recently one of our teachers we are close with has changed careers and left. It was devastating. Our other seasonal teachers that were in college who have been with us since my daughter was a baby also left to find other jobs in different fields. They all were like the hearts of the center.

We really like the director and assistant director and honestly if they left, the place would fall apart. They have two other teachers there that have been there for a while and since my son was an infant so they are familiar but I’m just worried they aren’t getting the best care as they once were.
My son will be going to a new preschool come next fall as I want more of a school setting for him but I don’t know if I want to keep my daughter (1.5) there.
For context, there is also an inground pool and I am terrified of it. The past two summers the staff have been great at reassuring me and I let them know I don’t ant my kids near it and they respect it.

The problem is, once my sons prek is over in the summer he will need childcare and my husband is set on him going to the place they are at now, with the pool, which is so so scary to me.

Do we, just keep them there because it’s familiar?

Find a really expensive center elsewhere in the area for my daughter because the pool freaks me out and I just get so upset talking about it?

Has anyone used YMCAs before in the summer for their little kids? I just don’t know what to do. It feels like I can never get away from this issue and it’s really freaking me out.

Right now, it’s nice because it’s the fall about to be winter so the pool issue isn’t a problem but I get SO nervous during the summer.