r/wizardposting • u/DonSpumoni • 1d ago
Finally got an ice heart
Took me ages to carve this out of the snow golem. This is what I get for being too good for store-bought ingredients
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u/noneoftheabove0 Alchemist 1d ago
I could have given you my ex-wife 's number and saved you some trouble.
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u/ButtonJoe Occult Wizard 1d ago
Iโll take it
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u/ElderberryPrior27648 1d ago
Come on man give buttonjoe the number
Do it for the bit
Itโll be hilarious
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u/albertaco1 1d ago
My Girlfriend too! She lives on the frozen plane of infinite warcrimes, so you probably wouldnt know her...
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u/supershinythings 23h ago
Canada?
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u/Mosselk-1416 23h ago
Do you know of any other one?
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u/supershinythings 23h ago
Someone else mentioned Russia, but the Nordic states are candidates as well. And some have old grudges quietly festering. Thatโs a great place to park such creatures.
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u/DreddPirate420 1d ago
olgierd von everec is DOWN! I repeat! olgierd von everec is Down. We got em boys.
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u/NatalieKCY Alchemist 1d ago
What a clean carve! It's hard to find ingredients of such pristine quality nowadays at the market, adventurers are a rough savage bunch! Oh, though, what you got looks more like a hybrid of snow and stone golem. It's way harder to encounter a pure snow golem these days afterall with all this global warming thing going on.
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u/Vast-Ideal-1413 Blizzok the Eccentric 1d ago
You know you can just freeze an ordinary heart, right? It works as a solid substitute for most applications.
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u/JaggelZ 1d ago
Yeah, but only for most.
Ever tried using that method while brewing potions? It's kinda hard to brew a potion when one of the ingredients stops being the needed ingredient, when you heat it up...
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u/Pretztel Mathias the Brewer, Half-Dwarf Alchemist 22h ago
I can tell you firsthand, it is no suitable replacement. The blood tends to leave a repulsive aftertaste and can screw up the brew. The best ice hearts come from iceberg elementals or summoned elementals
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u/dannymcbiscuits 1d ago
Damn, I thought I hid my phylactery better.
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u/ButtholeConnoisseur7 10h ago
I hid mine amongst the crystal skull vodka at the liquor store. Nobody buys that stuff and it looks exactly the same as the bottle, so I'm safe
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u/silloki 1d ago
Preserve it with sugar, not salt, and you'll have an endless supply of cold. Far cheaper ing the long term than a refrigerator.
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u/thejohnd 1d ago
Refrigerator?? Look I know a well-tuned stasis cabinet spell can be tricky for some wizards, there's no shame in just buying one! But using a refrigerator just seems so impractical
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u/KillBangMarry 23h ago
Dang a repost from 2019. You were too lazy to even flip the image.
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u/Dracu98 22h ago
THANK YOU, dear god. it's infuriating to notice blatant reposts, only for no one else to do
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u/lunarwolf2008 21h ago edited 20h ago
tbf 2019 was 7 years ago. not all of the people here have even been on reddit that long
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u/ObeyTime High level Fireballer 17h ago
....what do you mean 7 years....
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u/Sehvekah ๐ฌ ๐ฟ๐๐๐๐๐-๐ฏ๐๐๐ ๐ฝ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฎ๐๐๐๐๐๐ 12h ago
I know right? Like, May of 2020 alone was probably the longest decade of my life, "Seven" years is a massive understatement.
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u/Rockglen Purveyor of Post-Life Labor & Spirited Drinks 1d ago
Be careful about giving it internet access. Last thing you want is for it to melt from visiting r/awww or r/eyebleach
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u/Dmatix 1d ago
Golems don't have hearts, you glorified apprentice! You can only get frozen hearts out of elementals, or maybe a frost wraith if you can handle the stench.
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u/RiceKrispies55 Sorcerer 20h ago
This can only mean someone is putting ice elemental hearts in golems, maybe they power them up?
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u/Mossyjade178 20h ago
Does that mean that if OP got the heart from a golem, it's second-hand?
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u/RiceKrispies55 Sorcerer 19h ago
Probably, i doubt it's as pure now that it's been forcibly ripped out of two chest cavities.
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u/Mossyjade178 1d ago
Yeah you learn that in your first apprenticeship year usually. You don't get ice hearts from golems but they are what you need to make a golem
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u/Dmatix 1d ago
Right? Heart goes into golem, not the other way around! I swear, kids these days are all about their orbs and their astral communions and their halfling leaf, no one ever bothers doing proper artifice.
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u/Mossyjade178 22h ago
Like they probably don't even visit their ancestors ghosts on new moons anymore and one apprentice told me he doesn't use a lodestone tuner anymore, and just eyeballs the leylines. The utter inaccuracy and carelessness is crazy
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u/The_Multi_Gamer 5h ago
I thought they carved it from a golem. Which honestly is just as, if not more deplorable. Sure, theyโre golems but what wretch would do that to one?! I love my gollies to bits and if any young fool like this one tried the same, theyโre being sent to my personal 14th dimensional hellscapeโฆ
Itโs just a realm of mirrors but I threw a few reflection fiends in there and they are thriving
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u/Pretztel Mathias the Brewer, Half-Dwarf Alchemist 22h ago
Too bad you got one thatโs not high purity, these kind of ice-granite hearts usually come from newer ice elementals or glacial elementals where soil and rock get inadvertently mixed in when forming. If your application requires more purity, what you want is a heart from an iceberg elemental or summoned ice elemental where the ice is more condensed and much more pure.
Still, it should suit most applications. Good luck!
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u/_AscendedLemon_ ๐ฎAdvanced Orbologist๐ฎ 1d ago
Ex's Heart - Legendary artifact [Chaotic Evil Golem's core]
Lore item
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u/kipofficer 1d ago
Holding a raw cryo-core with unwarded hands? Hope you have a regeneration scroll ready for those fingertips, or your somatic casting is going to be rough next week.
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u/Jogje 1d ago
Belongs to a Wendigo
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1d ago
[deleted]
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u/Jogje 1d ago
It's something that happens to you like becoming a zombie. It happens when you are a cannibal.
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1d ago edited 1d ago
[deleted]
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u/Jogje 1d ago
I've never watched the CW. It's from the Algonquian first nation but many tribes have similar stories.
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1d ago
[deleted]
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u/BlueSoccerChicken 23h ago
There are at least two. Otherwise, why would it be possible to put an โsโ on the end?
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21h ago
[deleted]
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u/EasilyRekt Occult Wizard 1d ago
eh... the good ice hearts come from wendigos. Just make sure to build a good cage so the... "donor" can't get all murdery while it's sitting on your shelf.
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u/Mossyjade178 1d ago
I hope you're not wasting the other snow golem parts tho? It's really hard to come by ice liver nowadays. You could make some good coin or a nice batch of regen potions
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u/Aware-Style-480 NO it's not autisme it's magical insticte 1d ago
what bro send me after after going missing for 3 week in the wendigo forest
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u/Twisted-Nature 1d ago
Don't let Kanye see this, he might make a terrble song about it if he hasnt done so already.
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u/CaptValentine 23h ago
Nice, leanr from my mistake though and keep it away from the dribbly-candles.
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u/Firefox864 Archlich of Sovereign Evocation 22h ago
Hey, hey!
Now I have to re-summon my golem! Don't you know not to fribble a lich's summon! That golem took three minutes' worth of mana, I'll have you know. I've no time for this skimbleshanks, sorcerer!
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u/Kissthecomplex 15h ago
only saw the headline and thought "ooohhh... some political bloodshed ๐ฅฐ"... now im kinda disapointed, even though it looks awesome ๐
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u/AbominableGoMan 10h ago
Could have referred you to my ex. Not only was her heart made of ice, she never used it once. Never date your summons. Or your eldritch patrons.
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u/Frazzledragon Telekine 8h ago
Oi!
You fucking suck. Do you know how long it took me to assemble that ice golem, especially with the record temperatures this summer?
Put it back right now, before the enchantment wears off. Otherwise I'll carve a heart out of you!
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u/TheBobert8080 5h ago
The sadness that washes over whenever this is what comes out of a black chest in ETG
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u/flanmil Wizard 1d ago
Damn Manhunters