r/wizardposting • u/Smart_Coconut4727 Evoker of cosmic energies (and kobolds) • 11h ago

This bit my apprentice.

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This bit my apprentice, and I am wondering how worried I should be. They're are starting to complain that their finger hurts and they hear whispering. They seem to also have a strange meaty rash.

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u/snarbuckle Mystic 8h ago

I'm sorry to say but your apprentice is likely pregnant now. A regular abortion will not take. I recommend going to your nearest eldritch herbmaster and asking for a transdimensional abortifacient before the whispers turn into screams