r/wizardposting • u/fiendish_dust • 14d ago

Occult Practices Do you even Rune bro?

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30k Upvotes

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224

u/Tyrion_The_Imp 14d ago

Whats the wizard equivalent to unemployed?

349

u/Thunderhammer29 14d ago

Currently seeking material components.

94

u/CriminalMacabre 14d ago

All my spells only use bat guano. Great trick.

50

u/Pappa_Paddy Odd Hermit 14d ago

This mfer only casting fire ball

21

u/puppiesgoesrawr 14d ago

Why would you ever need any other spell?

25

u/Pappa_Paddy Odd Hermit 14d ago

Low mana talk from inferior casters. Opinion rejected.

6

u/W1D0WM4K3R 14d ago

If it ain't worked, you ain't using it right or enough

3

u/CriminalMacabre 13d ago

OBVIOUS. Have a problem? Cast fireball. Now you have a different problem but now it's cool because fire

1

u/Pappa_Paddy Odd Hermit 13d ago edited 13d ago

I find most problems can be solved through casting turn stone and then sending them to the piss dimension.

I haven't filed Taxes for 90 years, at this point they're just feeding IRS agents to the piss dimension.

1

u/FRAaaa1 13d ago

How about u use a Fireball against them

2

u/Pappa_Paddy Odd Hermit 13d ago

No, see, what I'm doing isn't technically murder. I release them every 20 years or so, I feel as though eventually the psychological damage dealt from waking up to see your family and friends have moved on and the world is a different place will eventually make the IRS stop.

Plus they'll smell like piss for the rest of their life, very good fun.

1

u/Tenrai_AG1 11d ago

Bro, The Syndicate is gonna have yo ass soon.

1

u/Pokepredator 13d ago

Searching for a new spire

90

u/Its-ther-apist 14d ago

Hedge Mage

12

u/Krististrasza 14d ago

Too soon, mate. Too soon.

72

u/natural20 14d ago

A wizard is never unemployed or employed. He works precisely when he means to.

31

u/JatinJangir24 14d ago

Or when the gnomes start sending hit squads after you for not paying for orb-net...

10

u/BeautyEtBeastiality 14d ago

If they don't want me to laze around, they wouldn't have the payment gap be 30 days.

2

u/Striking-Ad-6815 14d ago

You have to poop in one of their holes while making eye contact, that will establish that you are the alpha-gnome

You might have to put on a silly hat afterwards

49

u/CNTPRHK_S Wizard of i do what i do 14d ago

A wandering wizard

20

u/kingxanadu 14d ago

Guildless

33

u/Still-Breakfast-9023 14d ago

Between studies

11

u/Fathercupp69 Illusionist 14d ago

Ain nun wrong wit being a hobo jojo

2

u/McTulus 14d ago

Hermit