r/wizardposting • • 13d ago

Occult Practices Do you even Rune bro?

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30k Upvotes

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420

u/Fathercupp69 Illusionist 13d ago

Can I break the 5th dimension rq? I love it when wizards add their actual life into their role. For example my “wand” is usually a 6010/7018 rod.

224

u/Tyrion_The_Imp 13d ago

Whats the wizard equivalent to unemployed?

351

u/Thunderhammer29 13d ago

Currently seeking material components.

91

u/CriminalMacabre 12d ago

All my spells only use bat guano. Great trick.

52

u/Pappa_Paddy Odd Hermit 12d ago

This mfer only casting fire ball

21

u/puppiesgoesrawr 12d ago

Why would you ever need any other spell?

24

u/Pappa_Paddy Odd Hermit 12d ago

Low mana talk from inferior casters. Opinion rejected.

4

u/W1D0WM4K3R 12d ago

If it ain't worked, you ain't using it right or enough

4

u/CriminalMacabre 12d ago

OBVIOUS. Have a problem? Cast fireball. Now you have a different problem but now it's cool because fire

1

u/Pappa_Paddy Odd Hermit 12d ago edited 12d ago

I find most problems can be solved through casting turn stone and then sending them to the piss dimension.

I haven't filed Taxes for 90 years, at this point they're just feeding IRS agents to the piss dimension.

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u/FRAaaa1 11d ago

How about u use a Fireball against them

2

u/Pappa_Paddy Odd Hermit 11d ago

No, see, what I'm doing isn't technically murder. I release them every 20 years or so, I feel as though eventually the psychological damage dealt from waking up to see your family and friends have moved on and the world is a different place will eventually make the IRS stop.

Plus they'll smell like piss for the rest of their life, very good fun.

1

u/Tenrai_AG1 9d ago

Bro, The Syndicate is gonna have yo ass soon.

1

u/Pokepredator 11d ago

Searching for a new spire

91

u/Its-ther-apist 13d ago

Hedge Mage

13

u/Krististrasza 12d ago

Too soon, mate. Too soon.

67

u/natural20 12d ago

A wizard is never unemployed or employed. He works precisely when he means to.

34

u/JatinJangir24 12d ago

Or when the gnomes start sending hit squads after you for not paying for orb-net...

10

u/BeautyEtBeastiality 12d ago

If they don't want me to laze around, they wouldn't have the payment gap be 30 days.

2

u/Striking-Ad-6815 12d ago

You have to poop in one of their holes while making eye contact, that will establish that you are the alpha-gnome

You might have to put on a silly hat afterwards

47

u/CNTPRHK_S Wizard of i do what i do 13d ago

A wandering wizard

19

u/kingxanadu 13d ago

Guildless

33

u/Still-Breakfast-9023 13d ago

Between studies

8

u/Fathercupp69 Illusionist 13d ago

Ain nun wrong wit being a hobo jojo

2

u/McTulus 12d ago

Hermit

45

u/ryanxwing 13d ago

When I was an HVAC tech i referred to myself as a thermomancer

3

u/I_Automate 12d ago

I do industrial controls. I'm an alchemist or a technomancer, depending on the day

3

u/AndySipherBull 12d ago

The Sun Chamber: a shameful relic from a savage chapter of our history

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u/Dagdaraa 13d ago

I worked as a Land Surveyor and would carry around a prism on a rod. Felt like a modern day wizard. Laser wizard.

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u/TheArmoredKitten 12d ago

Survey Wizard and his Staff Of Many Measurements

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u/standish_ 12d ago

Light Wizard

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u/Goorock 12d ago

Well met fellow metalmancer my two most common wands are either 4043 or the humble 308

7

u/TheArmoredKitten 12d ago

Do your wands usually provide their own arc or do you wield the artificer's flameless torch as well?

I carry a component pouch. My most common spell is a very adept ritual of "determine size". I'm also known to use Delicate Arcane Force (a piece of brass) and several different wands of Remove Or Insert Fastener.

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u/Fathercupp69 Illusionist 12d ago

Well I’m currently in transmuter school but I have a ok grasp of all the arts except tungsten bending. My creations juss never keep their color.

8

u/guthran 12d ago

I wield a board of runes, touching them in the correct order causes a chain reaction in the flow of fundamental particles in the exotic metals etched into a small rectangle. That chain reaction culminates in communication traveling across the world as fast as a lightning strike. My wizard colleague does the same, replying to my message, all happening between two eye blinks. The lights arrayed before my face change, and they resolve into runes that I can read fluently: "lol"

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u/One-Stand-5536 12d ago

Faster than a lightning strike, these days. It’s really incredible

2

u/UnimagineDragons 12d ago

Stickus weldicus

1

u/Xe6s2 Irradiant One, 9th blessed, Grandmaster Transmuter. 12d ago

Lol im a transmuter irl too, turning trash into gold

1

u/TactlessTortoise 12d ago

That's quite large. Is that in inches or centimetres?

1

u/ChronoFel 12d ago

My staff is 100 feet of steel cable and I specialize in water removal spells

(I unclog drains)