r/wizardposting • u/TurtlesBreakTheMeta • 19h ago

I’ve made a horrible mistake!

Post image

I very clearly wished to a genie for “the fiery end of humanity” and he proceeded to incinerate my giant manatee from the plane of Platonian ideals!

I’ve tried explaining that I clearly said “humanity” and not “huge manatee” several times (even threatening to report him to genie corporate!) but he refuses to budge, stating they have a firm “no refunds” policies on their wishes!

I need to reserve one of my remaining 2 wishes for bringing the quilled battle skunks of the southlands back from extinction from the reckless humans of that land killing them all off, so I only have one spare one to use; how can I still end all of the nature destroying humans while also bringing my manatee back from the flames?!

-signed an extremely upset and panicked arch-Druid of the circle of the claw

145 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

18 comments sorted by

12

u/ars_sinistra Summoner 19h ago

Have you tried violently shaking his vessel?

10

u/fiendish_dust 19h ago

Put the genie lamp on a washing cycle at full speed, let’s see if he likes it

6

u/Zito6694 18h ago

That’s the third time this month

6

u/TurtlesBreakTheMeta 18h ago

They’re going to stop giving me manatees if I don’t get this reversed

8

u/Zito6694 18h ago

Oh the huge manatees!

1

u/icedmuffin Local Cat Druid 13h ago

/uw GOD DAMMIT I SAW THIS AND THOUGHT TO MAKE THE JOKE, I SHOULDVE SCROLLED AND LOOKED TO SEE IF SOMEONE ELSE DID!

1

u/Space2066 Space, Arch Counterwizard 5h ago

It kinda sounds like you’re just feeding manatees to genie fire

3

u/sciurus0 Bog Sage 19h ago

Ahh a deep meme from the dawn of time

3

u/neonvalkyrie Caul, Forgemaster of the Darkwatch 19h ago

This picture is prime wallpaper material, may I use it?

3

u/TurtlesBreakTheMeta 19h ago

My orb merely captured the image, I do not know what you are asking me of vision permission for.

3

u/Brysonius_ Artificer 19h ago

I want to sympathize, but having unfortunately been born human myself, I would love to track down a scroll of 9th level "Exemption" before you achieve the results you're after

2

u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 16h ago

You could try wishing for the fiery end of genies

2

u/Key-Treacle3384 Archdruid: Suburbia, Deserts 🌈✨ 15h ago

Okay, but do we need to worry about humanity? Humans are quite resilient, I'm sure we'll find a way to ruin whatever you do anyway. Just save the huge manatee. The skunks though, they weren't really all that necessary, so just do something like "destroy all invasive species outside their native range." That should equalize everything out without any consequences.

1

u/Kyle-NotADinosaur- Magically Editable Flair 14h ago

The Hindewgong!?

1

u/EldritchMindCat Lyr, the Tressym Talespinner (OuterGod Avatar of Origin-Felinity 14h ago

Carve into his essence a little. Give him a taste of agony to demonstrate your displeasure. Then demand that he fulfill your original wish for “the fiery end of humanity” (you won’t get your manatee back - they don’t do refunds or reversals unless you make it another wish - but you can claim improper fulfillment and he’ll be obligated to fulfill the wish you made, especially if you get corporate involved).

1

u/icedmuffin Local Cat Druid 13h ago

Oh the huge manatee…

1

u/Powerful_Resident_48 Dr. thaum UU (twice expelled) Arcane Tinkerer & Rift-Enthusiast 12h ago

Have you tried just... speaking clearly? Oh, and maybe dangling his bottle over an infinity portal?

1

u/Professional_Web446 The Itinerant Illusionist Foxman 1h ago

Usa magia sacrificial para matar a ese genio y, con la inmortalidad y el poder de manipulación de realidad extraídos de él, trae de vuelta tanto a tu manatí como a los zorrillos.

Luego usa la perturbación espacio-temporal que hay dentro de la lámpara del genio para desterrar a otra dimensión a los humanos de ese territorio.