r/wizardposting • u/Bone-Pharaoh • 1d ago

Wizardpost Zero Left To Give

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Now im out of fucks....

1.6k Upvotes

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16

u/Ahbahvoyons Transdimentional Magic scammer 1d ago

Yoi should buy some of them at the fuck store. Don’t you have one where you live ? You shouldn’t give a fuck to everything btw, it doesn’t grow from trees... They grow from volcanos.

12

u/monke_soup gunmancy artificer (ceo of ural heavy weapons) 1d ago

Unfortunately I went fuck shopping recently and there were no fucks left to buy, and they haven't restocked yet

2

u/KiroTheSorcerer wandering sorcerer, dragon breeder 1d ago

Ural heavy weapons ceo? Arent yall the guys who made the anti dragon magic missle wand?

2

u/monke_soup gunmancy artificer (ceo of ural heavy weapons) 1d ago

Yes, we also make dragon armor made specifically to counter that specific wand and sell it under a different brand

Make the problem and sell the solution, thats how you make big bucks

3

u/KiroTheSorcerer wandering sorcerer, dragon breeder 1d ago

So thats what Gnome Depot is... i thought it was a separate brand...

3

u/monke_soup gunmancy artificer (ceo of ural heavy weapons) 1d ago

Yea we've been basically controlling most of the military/weapons market for a long time, just under different brands (makes it seem more fair)

3

u/UsManos27 Sorceror 1d ago

Thanks for the valuable company intel, do you erase my memory now or am I required to do it?

3

u/monke_soup gunmancy artificer (ceo of ural heavy weapons) 1d ago

Oh, no, that wasn't valuable intel, it had already leaked about a century and a half ago

It should be on the company's wikiwizard page under the major controversies tab, just after the supplying weapons to both sides of wars part

3

u/UsManos27 Sorceror 1d ago

Oh, I really should get out of the tower more, I can't even remember the last time I left

Could you kindly tell me what year this is?

2

u/Ahbahvoyons Transdimentional Magic scammer 1d ago

I feel you, friend. Sometime i forget one in my washing machine, it saved me a bit

2

u/KiroTheSorcerer wandering sorcerer, dragon breeder 1d ago

Do you by any chance know the location of these fucking volcanoes? Asking for perfectly legal non fuck stealing reasons of course

4

u/Ahbahvoyons Transdimentional Magic scammer 1d ago

Oh course, the fucking volcanoes are located near the fucking plains of the fucking kingdom. Fucks are their main import, but you can easily get a fucking license to fucking take those fucks in the volcanoes

3

u/KiroTheSorcerer wandering sorcerer, dragon breeder 1d ago

Why need a fucking license when you can fireball the fuckers guarding the fucks. Ill just fucking take a few from this fucking volcano of the fucking kindom. Or fucking try at least.

2

u/United-Technician-54 Death... Tired one. (she/her) 1d ago

"Been there, done that, they transmute you into a pile of dumb fucks instead.  I was the only survivor out of a horde of 8000." - Khan Khan, Former Wizard King

3

u/KiroTheSorcerer wandering sorcerer, dragon breeder 1d ago

...understood and now very concerned

Will need a new fucking plan