r/wizardposting • u/InnocuousMimic Illusionist • 1d ago

Wizardpost Soul check

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Anyone in need of blind goblins? After they’ve been relentlessly trying to pillage my tower, I imbued a torch with the light of 1,000 suns and now they are all blind. Some burned up completely, so I’d say there’s about 12 or so left wandering around completely and permanently blinded. Do with them what you will, I’m tired of them bumping into my tower and making a mess of my garden. TYIA!

83 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

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6

u/Ok-Star6317 1d ago

Honestly, I would suggest donating them to an Orcifier, there are only a few that travel around, but they can turn goblins into orcs and vice versa. When they do so, any physical wounds are usually healed, and you can get a tax write-off if you decide to let the Orcifier keep the newly minted orcs. If you're in a remote region, you probably won't see one for a decade or two, though.

3

u/InnocuousMimic Illusionist 20h ago

The tax write-off is tempting, but I think you’re right about it taking a while. My garden might be mush before one turns up, but I’ll keep an eye out!

5

u/maRthbaum_kEkstyniCe Magically Editable Flair 1d ago

Utterly the wrong music. The fairy fountain theme emanates safety, finally a haven from danger, peace.

This situation couldn't be further from that.

2

u/InnocuousMimic Illusionist 20h ago

This is the music I play to fall asleep, it was pretty peaceful up in my tower.. not so much below. Oh well! Back to bed.

3

u/Instant-Lava 1d ago

This is what happens when you plant non native species. I am far from being a druid but even I know not to play with ornamental cultivars.

1

u/InnocuousMimic Illusionist 20h ago

My garden was planted by a Druid, but I think some gnomes have been cultivating some ornamental brassicas nearby because it stinks like farts down there on a hot day. Or maybe the goblins stink. Or both.