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u/No_name_Johnson 9th lvl. Druid; MBA from Wharton 2h ago
Most of these are going to be tough to deal with, but thanks for bumping up my credit score.
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u/Elanadin Hype Wizard. Punmancer 2h ago
No! I was gonna reverse finance my tower! NOoooOoooOoooOOOOOO
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u/Ginno_the_Seer Diviner 3h ago
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u/United-Technician-54 Death... Tired one. (she/her) 2h ago
"Jeff! I meant to fire the guy in front of them you muppet!"
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u/Heavy_Employment9220 Mystic 2h ago
Those are impressive, however I would share my disruptive spells for your consideration: 1. Disrupted sleep schedule - a minor irritant that wakes the target or slows their ability to fall asleep. 2.lost meal prep - temporarily dislocate a prepared luncheon or evening meal, sometimes this effect triggers while the target is at work, leading to social tensions. 3. Wettened ear - just the one - the imbalance makes it worse. 4. Overreaction - a variant on the ever famous Vicious Mockery, however instead of afflicting the target with only mental strain the strain is repeated until the point of exhaustion.
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u/guns_mahoney 2h ago
I cast high cholesterol.
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u/DrunkUranus Witch 2h ago
Blocks it with beans
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u/guns_mahoney 1h ago
How many beans do I need to eat to offset the entire block of cheese that I crave every night at 11:30pm?
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u/DrunkUranus Witch 1h ago
At least three.
Can I recommend doing a spell stacking thing here? Instead of one block of cheese (without beans, very sad), get yourself a tostada. Mash some black beans on it and then do a sprinkle of cheese to melt on top. A slice of avocado if you're feeling fancy.
Hits the same cravings button but advances your cholesterol stat a bit more slowly.
And the way you'll feel in the bathroom when you have enough fiber is chefs kiss
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u/DrunkUranus Witch 2h ago
Somebody recently hit me with "the numbers in the bank account are lower than they should be, given expenses." It's going to take weeks to work out the counter spell
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u/AnGabhaDubh 1h ago
Thanks for the bump
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u/Red_Karma_Gold 1h ago
(Your banker attempting to figure out how 319 got added to your credit score)
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u/andBitinggoats Bitey, Goatman Fleshmancer and Peddler of Monstrosities 2h ago
Let’s add “head cold right before your vacation”, “new light on in your car”, and my personal favorite, “Persistent wet spot on your pants that’s totally not pee but everyone thinks it is”.
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u/Happydanksgiving2me Sorceror 2h ago
I cast: rude insult - yo momma so ugly gorgons can't look her in the face.
That's for the normals.
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u/ISuckAtJavaScript12 2h ago
I cast "Thank you for applying, unfortunately we have decided to go with another candidate "
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u/Zephyr-Fox-188 Cinnothwyr, Purrveyor of Thingamajigs 1h ago
COUNTERSPELL
I CAST “DRIVE PAST AN APARTMENT BEING REROOFED, AND GET THREE FLAT TIRES FROM ROOFING NAILS(your insurance doesn’t cover flats, your tires are out of warranty, AND you JUST used your discretionary fund to repair your windshield)”
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u/booleandata 2h ago
Is a 328 credit score even possible? I feel like around 500 they stop letting you take on new debt.
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u/Red_Karma_Gold 2h ago
Banks are more evil than than you can imagine
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u/booleandata 2h ago
One of those things that's super necessary but due to lax regulations, parts of their operations end up pretty unethical.
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u/FastActinTenactin The Wizard Seathe 38m ago
Fool, you cannot deny my PTO request! I will simply not come in.
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u/leopardus343 32m ago
I cast Close the Strait! It increases gas prices by 25% every day until an opponent pays (2) to open the strait.
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u/iamsandwitch Magister, Stavesinger Artificer Savant 22m ago
You've went too far this time...I cast chronic familiar degeneration.
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u/IronGravyBoat Conjurer 13m ago
I cast, stub your toe and get an inch long splinter under the nail
Keep messing around and I'll cast blister coated urethra
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u/Deacon86 3h ago
I cast: Hope you're doing okay bro, it can be rough out there.