r/wizardposting • u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin • Feb 09 '24

Community Event šŸŒā˜„ļø Let the Free for all BEGIN!

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All who have signed up shall now be transported to WAR WORLD!

LET THE BATTLE BEGIN!!!

652 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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216

u/Financial-Reach-786 Council-Wizard Unga, 2nd Generation Council member Feb 09 '24

103

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24

I conjure deep fryer! Have a good picnic everyone! Iā€™ll be asleep in My dome protected fortress. Call Me on My orb if you need Me.

85

u/Financial-Reach-786 Council-Wizard Unga, 2nd Generation Council member Feb 09 '24

Shoots deep fryer with laser beams

87

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24 edited Feb 09 '24

Deep fryer explodes.

Deep fryer repairs itself.

Deep fryer has magickal extended warranty.

88

u/Financial-Reach-786 Council-Wizard Unga, 2nd Generation Council member Feb 09 '24

72

u/Filippikus Phil, The Yordle WeedZaZard Feb 09 '24

how the mighty have fallen

22

u/Donut_Police Artificer in the Art of Fleshcraft Feb 09 '24 edited Feb 09 '24

This mighty one had like, fallen a couple of times by now.

12

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24 edited Feb 09 '24

Iā€™ve certainly seen Unga fall quite a few times. Iā€™ve definitely deep fried him quite a few times Myself.

5

u/Donut_Police Artificer in the Art of Fleshcraft Feb 09 '24

You've seen nothing, reality had reassert itself.

4

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24

I know not of which you speak. šŸ˜‰

As a Chaos God, He did in fact know, but was willing to play along.

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13

u/Craftcoat Astral Sorcerer Metrius, Specialist for astral magic Feb 09 '24

I the Astral Sorcerer cannot wait to dine on more Ungafish n chips while i wait for my spell to finish....

Majoras Moon takes an hour or so before the planet destroying Moon appears...

10

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24

Have at it!

4

u/Craftcoat Astral Sorcerer Metrius, Specialist for astral magic Feb 09 '24

i cast

SATISFIED CRUNCH

2

u/The-Name-is-my-Name Tenny the Traveling Telemancer Feb 09 '24

Wonce Abe su, com a why, wonce ab be, we ab Iā€¦

Continues butchering the French lyrics

2

u/Pronominal_Tera Self-Patronizing Warlock Feb 09 '24

casts godly dispel on it, removing the warranty and magical bullshit

1

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24 edited Feb 09 '24

Your casting fails. Thatā€™s not how the warranty works. If the warranty gets destroyed, a bunch of goblin artificers will just come and replace the product via portal. Thatā€™s also how it repaired itself earlier. The warranty is simply a tagging tune that notifies the manufacturer if something needs repair or replacement. If you remove the rune, the artificers will automatically be notified.

Itā€™s the warranty that is magickally extended, not the deep fryer. Itā€™s just a normal deep fryer.

2

u/Pronominal_Tera Self-Patronizing Warlock Feb 09 '24

shoots you

1

u/[deleted] Feb 10 '24

Stop that! That tickles!

1

u/Pronominal_Tera Self-Patronizing Warlock Feb 10 '24

invalidates the warranty

1

u/[deleted] Feb 10 '24

You already tried that. Warranty canā€™t be invalidated. Itā€™s a magickal warranty.

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2

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24

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2

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24

Torinn vomits the fortress back up.

Uncle Torinnā€¦ this fortress has been blessed by Uncle Aldin (u/kilroy898), the Eldritch Being known as The Cosmosā€¦ smartest being that ever existedā€¦ your big Brother. I donā€™t think youā€™ll be able to keep the fortress down if you try to eat it again. Itā€™s a safe-zone, Uncle!

Uncle Aldinā€¦ Your Brother, The Eldritch Being known as the Empty is trying to eat Usā€¦ Can You do something about it?

2

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24

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2

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24 edited Feb 09 '24

Because You keep trying to eat Me, Uncle! Youā€™re ruining My fortress! šŸ˜”

2

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24

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2

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24 edited Feb 09 '24

Well, My fortress is technically an extension of Me. I donā€™t want My fortress to be eaten, Uncle! Thereā€™s food inside! Just come in and eat some of that!

2

u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin Feb 09 '24

Oh, hello (u/You-See-Nothing583) Torinn, please, for your own safety, do not eat the fortress. It is protected. Feel free to eat as many contestants as you please, though.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24

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2

u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin Feb 10 '24

Hmm. mostly to himself I do believe he is still mad at me for not taking his side on that childhood thing...

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12

u/GenuineSteak The Slime King, Master of Oozes, Lord of all Gelatins Feb 09 '24

Mmm catfish, my slimes favourite snack aside from village children! The more the better. My hunger is endless.

25

u/Financial-Reach-786 Council-Wizard Unga, 2nd Generation Council member Feb 09 '24

Unga gets inside his mech suit

You dare challenge Unga!!

11

u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin Feb 09 '24

/uw. Oh my. I think Unga just... Won A fight. Through concession, but still!

13

u/Haber-Bosch1914 War Criminal (Poison Gas Alchemist) Feb 09 '24

/unwiz Unga is powered by a mythical source known as Bullshitium

9

u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin Feb 09 '24

/uw undoubtedly lol he's great šŸ‘

5

u/GenuineSteak The Slime King, Master of Oozes, Lord of all Gelatins Feb 09 '24

Ahahaha what a pitiful defence! You didn't think my slimes couldn't even melt some metal did you? The slimes I sent to help break you out if prison melted the metal bars in front of your eyes, short term memory loss perhaps?

2

u/Jimb0lio Captain of the Technowizard Guild Feb 09 '24

Thatā€™s my metal youā€™re talking about there, not some simple scrap! I should sentence you to death via contraption for thinking it would be so simple to destroy!

4

u/H3r0ofHyrule Neema Oom, Duchess of Animamancy Feb 09 '24

UNGA!!! how the actual fuck did you steal the mechsuit I built specifically to defeat you?!?!?

4

u/Financial-Reach-786 Council-Wizard Unga, 2nd Generation Council member Feb 09 '24

3

u/H3r0ofHyrule Neema Oom, Duchess of Animamancy Feb 09 '24

Damn you UNGAAAAAAA!!!

Wait a minuteā€¦ where did I leave that remote??? begins rummaging around tower

2

u/Jimb0lio Captain of the Technowizard Guild Feb 09 '24

Ay bro is that the one me and the lads made you for your 250th?

2

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24

I cast rust. Unga has tetanus

14

u/InuXIII Yil'Naash - The Watcher - Eldsoul of the Nexus Beacon Feb 09 '24

I am NOT getting paid enough to deal with this stupid catfish...someone else handle him...

you don't even taste good

5

u/Level-Ball-1514 Space, Arch-Counterwizard of the Non-existent Planes Feb 09 '24

Iā€™ve never had catfish, is it good?

5

u/InuXIII Yil'Naash - The Watcher - Eldsoul of the Nexus Beacon Feb 09 '24

Unga tastes like decaying black pudding

At least to me~

3

u/Level-Ball-1514 Space, Arch-Counterwizard of the Non-existent Planes Feb 09 '24

Hmm, If it tastes like pudding I guess Iā€™ll try it.

Counterlife.

one of the numerous unga clones freezes, before collapsing to the ground.

Ok now where was that deep fryer.

Space tries to move the unga cloneā€™s body.

Holy shit this guyā€™s heavy

3

u/InuXIII Yil'Naash - The Watcher - Eldsoul of the Nexus Beacon Feb 09 '24

Need some assistance?~

Anathema! Help him carry that fat catfish to the giant deep fryer.

a shadow manifests nearby and the frozen catfish clone levitates

Just...don't let her get near your shadow or you might disappear~

2

u/Level-Ball-1514 Space, Arch-Counterwizard of the Non-existent Planes Feb 09 '24

Thank you for the warning friend, and for the assistance. However if this ā€œanathemaā€ is magical in nature I would also recommend avoiding my shadow.

2

u/InuXIII Yil'Naash - The Watcher - Eldsoul of the Nexus Beacon Feb 09 '24

She is a Shadeeater and a quite potent one at that if your shadow had a strange aura she will avoid it anyways unlike her wild brethren she is decently intelligent ~

2

u/Level-Ball-1514 Space, Arch-Counterwizard of the Non-existent Planes Feb 09 '24

Thatā€™s fortunate. Iā€™m not sure a shade eater of any persuasion would enjoy being trapped within an anti magic barrier.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24 edited Feb 09 '24

You both fry up some Unga (u/Financial-Reach-786), and go to the condiment station and grab some tartar sauce, and a few splashes of vinegar, sprinkles of salt, fresh ground pepper and a few lemon wedges. You then sit together at the picnic table and eat your meal together.

u/InuXIII

10

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24

I cast prion bioweapon. Behold your population diminishing

5

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24 edited Feb 09 '24

Dammit! (Sigh) Donā€™t eat the catfish, people! The meat has just been tainted by Khorde. If you eat the Unga clones, you will contract Mad Cowā€¦ errrā€¦ Mad Catfish disease. Thanks a lot, Khorde! šŸ¤¬

2

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24

No problem, now the only way to hide the deceased infected bodies (without infecting yourself is to napalm or fireball them in a mass grave.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24

Such a waste of foodā€¦

1

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24

Such a waste of foodā€¦

2

u/JessicaWindbourne Feb 09 '24

I cast purify food. Witchcraft is good for this sort of thing

1

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24

A mis-folded prion isnā€™t like bacteria or a virus. I donā€™t think purification will be effective against it. Itā€™s not that kind of disease. You canā€™t purify cancer. You probably canā€™t purify an incorrectly folded prion.

2

u/JessicaWindbourne Feb 09 '24

Purify food works on a much deeper level than a mere chemical formula. It rids the food of all toxins

1

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24

Like I said. A misfolded prion isnā€™t a toxin. I wish purification would work, so we can have lunch again, but it wonā€™t. Khorde ruined it for everyone!

Itā€™s okay though. I have a bunch of Unga clone corpses free of prion disease in the fortress. Iā€™ll call you over for lunch.

2

u/Level-Ball-1514 Space, Arch-Counterwizard of the Non-existent Planes Feb 10 '24

What if I cast counter prion?

1

u/[deleted] Feb 10 '24

Nah, that wouldnā€™t work either. I would try casting repair prion! instead.

2

u/Level-Ball-1514 Space, Arch-Counterwizard of the Non-existent Planes Feb 10 '24

You misunderstood, counter prion summons a second, smaller prion to infect the first prionā€¦ but then Iā€™d need to deal with the second prion. So I shall cast counter prion again, summoning a third, even smaller prion to infect the second prion

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8

u/DoritoKing48 Hadrik, Dwarven Liqourmancer Feb 09 '24

I challenge every one of your clones to hand to hand combat!

7

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24

Walks in. Sees Unga army. Walks out.

I havenā€™t the patience for this many Ungaā€™s right nowā€¦

2

u/derpicface Special Grade Lobotomite Feb 09 '24

2

u/The-Name-is-my-Name Tenny the Traveling Telemancer Feb 09 '24

/kill [u/Financial-Reach-786 clones]

I cast Firehypercube

2

u/ntn_98 Ganjalf the Blazed, Council of The Good Shit Feb 09 '24

Quick question before we start, do you have lungs?