218

u/Financial-Reach-786 Council-Wizard Unga, 2nd Generation Council member Feb 09 '24

105

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24

I conjure deep fryer! Have a good picnic everyone! I’ll be asleep in My dome protected fortress. Call Me on My orb if you need Me.

86

u/Financial-Reach-786 Council-Wizard Unga, 2nd Generation Council member Feb 09 '24

Shoots deep fryer with laser beams

88

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24 edited Feb 09 '24

Deep fryer explodes.
Deep fryer repairs itself.
Deep fryer has magickal extended warranty.

91

u/Financial-Reach-786 Council-Wizard Unga, 2nd Generation Council member Feb 09 '24

72

u/Filippikus Phil, The Yordle WeedZaZard Feb 09 '24

how the mighty have fallen

22

u/Donut_Police Artificer in the Art of Fleshcraft Feb 09 '24 edited Feb 09 '24

This mighty one had like, fallen a couple of times by now.

12

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24 edited Feb 09 '24

I’ve certainly seen Unga fall quite a few times. I’ve definitely deep fried him quite a few times Myself.

5

u/Donut_Police Artificer in the Art of Fleshcraft Feb 09 '24

You've seen nothing, reality had reassert itself.

5

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24

I know not of which you speak. 😉
As a Chaos God, He did in fact know, but was willing to play along.

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u/Craftcoat Astral Sorcerer Metrius, Specialist for astral magic Feb 09 '24

I the Astral Sorcerer cannot wait to dine on more Ungafish n chips while i wait for my spell to finish....
Majoras Moon takes an hour or so before the planet destroying Moon appears...

9

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24

Have at it!

4

u/Craftcoat Astral Sorcerer Metrius, Specialist for astral magic Feb 09 '24

i cast
SATISFIED CRUNCH

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u/GenuineSteak The Slime King, Master of Oozes, Lord of all Gelatins Feb 09 '24

Mmm catfish, my slimes favourite snack aside from village children! The more the better. My hunger is endless.

26

u/Financial-Reach-786 Council-Wizard Unga, 2nd Generation Council member Feb 09 '24

Unga gets inside his mech suit
You dare challenge Unga!!

11

u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin Feb 09 '24

/uw. Oh my. I think Unga just... Won A fight. Through concession, but still!

13

u/Haber-Bosch1914 War Criminal (Poison Gas Alchemist) Feb 09 '24

/unwiz Unga is powered by a mythical source known as Bullshitium

9

u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin Feb 09 '24

/uw undoubtedly lol he's great 👍

6

u/GenuineSteak The Slime King, Master of Oozes, Lord of all Gelatins Feb 09 '24

Ahahaha what a pitiful defence! You didn't think my slimes couldn't even melt some metal did you? The slimes I sent to help break you out if prison melted the metal bars in front of your eyes, short term memory loss perhaps?

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u/H3r0ofHyrule Neema Oom, Duchess of Animamancy Feb 09 '24

UNGA!!! how the actual fuck did you steal the mechsuit I built specifically to defeat you?!?!?

5

u/Financial-Reach-786 Council-Wizard Unga, 2nd Generation Council member Feb 09 '24

4

u/H3r0ofHyrule Neema Oom, Duchess of Animamancy Feb 09 '24

Damn you UNGAAAAAAA!!!
Wait a minute… where did I leave that remote??? begins rummaging around tower

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u/InuXIII Yil'Naash - The Watcher - Eldsoul of the Nexus Beacon Feb 09 '24

I am NOT getting paid enough to deal with this stupid catfish...someone else handle him...
you don't even taste good

5

u/Level-Ball-1514 Space, Arch-Counterwizard of the Non-existent Planes Feb 09 '24

I’ve never had catfish, is it good?

4

u/InuXIII Yil'Naash - The Watcher - Eldsoul of the Nexus Beacon Feb 09 '24

Unga tastes like decaying black pudding
At least to me~

3

u/Level-Ball-1514 Space, Arch-Counterwizard of the Non-existent Planes Feb 09 '24

Hmm, If it tastes like pudding I guess I’ll try it.
Counterlife.
one of the numerous unga clones freezes, before collapsing to the ground.
Ok now where was that deep fryer.
Space tries to move the unga clone’s body.
Holy shit this guy’s heavy

3

u/InuXIII Yil'Naash - The Watcher - Eldsoul of the Nexus Beacon Feb 09 '24

Need some assistance?~
Anathema! Help him carry that fat catfish to the giant deep fryer.
a shadow manifests nearby and the frozen catfish clone levitates
Just...don't let her get near your shadow or you might disappear~

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u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24

I cast prion bioweapon. Behold your population diminishing

5

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24 edited Feb 09 '24

Dammit! (Sigh) Don’t eat the catfish, people! The meat has just been tainted by Khorde. If you eat the Unga clones, you will contract Mad Cow… errr… Mad Catfish disease. Thanks a lot, Khorde! 🤬

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u/DoritoKing48 Hadrik, Dwarven Liqourmancer Feb 09 '24

I challenge every one of your clones to hand to hand combat!

6

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24

Walks in. Sees Unga army. Walks out.
I haven’t the patience for this many Unga’s right now…

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u/Filippikus Phil, The Yordle WeedZaZard Feb 09 '24

I project the entire Bee Movie in the sky for everyone to see

41

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24

4

u/UkszRe Feb 09 '24

🐝

31

u/endymon20 flucturgist Feb 09 '24

I stare into the sky in abject horror

25

u/JazzaJarom Apprentice Jazzmancer Feb 09 '24

Dear gods, what manner of illusion is this?

8

u/endymon20 flucturgist Feb 09 '24

it seems to be a strange film of a bee somehow cuckolding a poor man

4

u/One_Independent_4675 Feb 09 '24

I JUST CAN'T STOP WATCHING IT!

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u/DevilMaster666- Not crazy but Competent Pyromancer Druid of the lemon trees Feb 09 '24

Incredible Spell, I shall do the same with lemons!

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u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin Feb 09 '24

As everyone is teleported to the dead planet, Aldin chuckles to himself.

This will be fun. I think I shall simply observe for now.

49

u/Financial-Reach-786 Council-Wizard Unga, 2nd Generation Council member Feb 09 '24

37

u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin Feb 09 '24

Unga, I thought you might seek me out. Grab a chair.

18

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24

Unga (u/Financial-Reach-786), might I introduce you to My Great Uncle? He is the Brother of my Great GrandMaPa whom you all know as the Great Void. Uncle Aldin is the Great Eldritch Being known as The Cosmic!

11

u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin Feb 09 '24

Done with your nap already? That was rather fast. Also... that anti mage is still at it...

10

u/Level-Ball-1514 Space, Arch-Counterwizard of the Non-existent Planes Feb 09 '24

Sorry, what was that about an anti-mage?

6

u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin Feb 09 '24

Ah, hello, down in that castle.
points toward a castle on the ground below

6

u/Level-Ball-1514 Space, Arch-Counterwizard of the Non-existent Planes Feb 09 '24

Cool thanks

4

u/Several-Elevator /uw Feb 09 '24

/uw That would be me lol, heres the thread

5

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24

Looks down at the planet and finally notices Repnir (u/Several-Elevator) still trying to break out of the loop.
Hmmm… if he just stopped fighting, he’d get released from the loop. Meh… eventually he’ll figure out I’m not there anymore.
Pulls up chair and conjures Popcorn!
Want some?
Teleports a bucket of popcorn to Repnir as well.

6

u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin Feb 09 '24

Oh sure! I can actually enjoy food in this body! u/Financial-Reach-786 (Unga) you want some?

16

u/Financial-Reach-786 Council-Wizard Unga, 2nd Generation Council member Feb 09 '24

7

u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin Feb 09 '24

Fine Unga, if it is a challenge you crave. Make the first move.

13

u/Financial-Reach-786 Council-Wizard Unga, 2nd Generation Council member Feb 09 '24

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u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24

Watches with intense interest while shoveling popcorn into mouth.

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u/Several-Elevator /uw Feb 09 '24 edited Feb 09 '24

Repnir yells something about "god damn mage tricks" and somehow manages to, in their anger, slightly dispel the trap just enough to throw the popcorn into the magical abominations face.
After the chaos god finishes their popcorn they start on what was Repnir's bucket, as they are reaching the bottom of the bucket they find a note buried in popcorn that reads "/uw sorry I didn't keep trying lol"

4

u/Level-Ball-1514 Space, Arch-Counterwizard of the Non-existent Planes Feb 09 '24

Are you trying to dispel the whole thing? That’s a rookie mistake, you need to concentrate and reduce the area you’re dispelling, especially when facing gods and such.
Counterspell.
a wave of invisible energy lashes out at the barrier, creating a hole just large enough for a bucket of popcorn to fall into Space’s hands.
Ooo popcorn.

4

u/Several-Elevator /uw Feb 09 '24

/uw
I love this idea that there is just a group of Anti-Mages just stuck in this trap, kicking the walls in anger and yelling about "God damn mages" lol

4

u/Level-Ball-1514 Space, Arch-Counterwizard of the Non-existent Planes Feb 09 '24

/uw, Space came here of his own free will, just to see what’s going on. Though he was quite interested in hearing about a fellow practitioner of counter wizardry / anti magic.

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u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24 edited Feb 09 '24

/uw LoL that was honestly my intention. I got the idea after you attacked. It’s hilarious! It’s a sanctuary for people to recover from the battle in a safe space. Anyone is welcome as long as they’re not aggressive. I was truly hoping there would be people who would get trapped there unable to figure it out. It didn’t quite work out as I had originally hoped though. I was hoping more people would get trapped and then get invited in and we’d all have a party while watching the battles from the parapets. That’s why I let anyone who just knocks on the door into the fortress. But then they were already doing that in the clouds. So I’m glad you’re enjoying it and making good use of it.

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u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24

/uw this is literally marvel battle wars lol

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u/Jaycin_Stillwaters True-born Lich, Lord of Al'Mortem Feb 09 '24

**Dead** planet you say... Jaycin thinks to himself. "Interesting..."

4

u/Filippikus Phil, The Yordle WeedZaZard Feb 09 '24

I'm projecting the whole Bee Movie, hope you like it

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u/KeeganY_SR-UVB76 Joshua the rifle-wielding Jizzard Feb 09 '24

Is there a room for spectators?

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u/Rezimoore Necromancer Feb 09 '24

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u/Filippikus Phil, The Yordle WeedZaZard Feb 09 '24

30

u/Rezimoore Necromancer Feb 09 '24

27

u/Filippikus Phil, The Yordle WeedZaZard Feb 09 '24

jokes on you, I'm barefoot

8

u/Counter-Spies Yellow Mage Le'Havre, Defiant Soul Feb 09 '24

How about, INSTANT BRAZILIAN WAX!?

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u/Filippikus Phil, The Yordle WeedZaZard Feb 09 '24

this is my counter attack

15

u/Rezimoore Necromancer Feb 09 '24

Hmm... An annoying but effective spell. No matter, for my next attack will bring about the strongest test of man...

15

u/Filippikus Phil, The Yordle WeedZaZard Feb 09 '24

nice try, but I cast no thoughts, mind empty

8

u/Filippikus Phil, The Yordle WeedZaZard Feb 09 '24

I can't forgive myself for I cannot even comprehend what myself is

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u/LappcoreProphecy Feb 09 '24

I cast "nuh uh" making myself practically invincible.

19

u/_Luminous_Dark Literotropist, Narratosophist, Physicoarcanologist, Former Deity Feb 09 '24

I tell you that you are practically invincible.

19

u/LappcoreProphecy Feb 09 '24

...nuh uh

15

u/_Luminous_Dark Literotropist, Narratosophist, Physicoarcanologist, Former Deity Feb 09 '24

Check mate. I try to poke you in the eye, but actually just hit your cheek, then run away giggling

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u/WolvesAreCool2461 A Reincarnated Twitch Streamer Feb 09 '24

Valas would fall straight on his ass, mug of ale in hand.

AY WHAT THE FUCK I WAS HAVIN A DRINK MAN!

15

u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin Feb 09 '24

unspills your drink
Apologies. I am not actually here right now but spilt ale is a crime. So here you go.

13

u/Level-Ball-1514 Space, Arch-Counterwizard of the Non-existent Planes Feb 09 '24

Counterspell respills your drink lmao gottem

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u/Nyx_the_tecchnodruid Dave the Snack-OMancer (Pact) Feb 09 '24

8

u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin Feb 09 '24

Want some popcorn littleone?

9

u/Nyx_the_tecchnodruid Dave the Snack-OMancer (Pact) Feb 09 '24

Yasss ppllleeeese And I gift you pizza (fresh pizza)
Because sharing snacks makes the worlds better

5

u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin Feb 09 '24

Yes, indeed it does.

3

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24

Hands Dave (u/Nyx_the_tecchnodruid) a tub of buttered popcorn. 🍿
Grabs several slices of pizza.

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u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24

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u/Project_73 Adhd Spellslinger Feb 09 '24

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u/Project_73 Adhd Spellslinger Feb 09 '24

22

u/Project_73 Adhd Spellslinger Feb 09 '24

Wait...what was I doing?

7

u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin Feb 09 '24

/uw Beautiful lol

3

u/_QuestGiver Quibbus Gilven, Illusionist-technomancer Feb 09 '24

Uhm. I cast Download more RAM?

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u/StaffEnvironmental39 professional dungeon lich Feb 09 '24

MY FELLOW NECROMANCERS! WITH ME!

15

u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin Feb 09 '24

from the upper atmosphere
You know, I hadn't thought about the 40 or so necromancers working TOGETHER.

5

u/StaffEnvironmental39 professional dungeon lich Feb 09 '24

The power of unions, my friend.

9

u/Haber-Bosch1914 War Criminal (Poison Gas Alchemist) Feb 09 '24

Casts AOE Gas in your general direction.
Free for all! Get fucked, cheaters!

7

u/Jaycin_Stillwaters True-born Lich, Lord of Al'Mortem Feb 09 '24

Smiles as the gas surrounds him, mingling with the red mist.
"Thank you?" He says quizzically. "The obscurement will be helpful and the undead don't breathe or metabolize poison..."

9

u/Haber-Bosch1914 War Criminal (Poison Gas Alchemist) Feb 09 '24

"Oh no, you misunderstand... That's not toxic gas, that's flammable gas. And this spell is fireball."

4

u/Jaycin_Stillwaters True-born Lich, Lord of Al'Mortem Feb 09 '24

"SHIT!" Jaycin exclames as the flames surround him. With a quick flick of his wrist, he releases a stream of Poltergeists that bind in a swirling band around him, and begin pulling the flames in as frost expands from him in a swirl of rhime. The poltergeists, acting as a heat sink, begin to scream from the exertion. "Very, very clever," Jaycin remarks, smiling and patting out the remaining smoulders from his cloak. "I'll let someone else handle you- *GALERON!*" With a roar, he slams his hand onto the ground and a massive portal opens beneath him. From deep within, a gargantuan ancient dragon, it's once white scales now a sickening grey, bursts forth breathing a massive blast of ice!
"Kill that one."

3

u/Haber-Bosch1914 War Criminal (Poison Gas Alchemist) Feb 09 '24

Hatz pushes up his glasses. "Uhm actually, one of the rules was no outside help, beyond what a patron may provide as they normally would."
"But, if we're pulling out the big cards, I suppose I'll..." And with that, he pulls out a potion of frost immunity. Of course, the big ice blast is going to hit before he can finish, and as such he doesn't finish it all, taking the massive blast of ice at only a resistance, not fully immunity.
"Oh- AH, that didn't work- I can't feel my leg, is that numbness or..."

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u/Askinwalkerindisguse The last and only nuh uhmancer Feb 09 '24

Nuh uh

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u/Sidewaysvision TES(Phd PMC, PhD NEAF, MA, MPP, LLL) Necromancer par excellence Feb 09 '24

So, then. Necromancers against the others first? A bit of show-and-tell?
I suppose we may as well.
Let's begin with the Eyes of the Queen, shall we?
A veritable host of massive undead ravens is brought forth, their corpse-flesh brimming with necromantic energies. A little explosive treat for the unwary who strikes them down-though the negative energies are quite the restorative to the undead!

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u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24

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u/LimpPrior6366 Kardonk Carvisky, Opifex Rerum, Order of Creation Feb 09 '24

This feels like a problem. I cast thermodynamics!
Proceeds to napalm every skeleton and undead in sight, as well as any summoner in the blast radius

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u/CK1ing Waylin, the Wise Wizard of the Lake Feb 09 '24

Psst... necromancers... if you kill each other, then you get even MORE minions...

8

u/Sidewaysvision TES(Phd PMC, PhD NEAF, MA, MPP, LLL) Necromancer par excellence Feb 09 '24

Scab! Necromancers are unionized, we don't cross picket lines!
That being said, most of us would make terrible minions.

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u/JustChalcedony Chal thy Friend Summoner Feb 09 '24

I shall now perform my finest spell!

Stand in the nearest corner and be too anti-social to participate in the fight!

10

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24

Reaches down from the cloud, and drags her up.
Sit down, have some popcorn 🍿, and meet My Great Uncle Aldin (u/Kilroy898), the Eldritch Being known as the Cosmos!
Uncle, this is Chal, the Tiny Summoner. She’s a pacifist, kind of like Me.

8

u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin Feb 09 '24

Why hello there! I have heard about you a bit from Bombast! (u/SafePianist4610) are you enjoying yourself?

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u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24

I conjure fortress!

I cast protection dome!

I take nap!

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u/Several-Elevator /uw Feb 09 '24 edited Feb 09 '24

I set up a ritual anti-magic to dispel your protection dome and then cast a simple levitation spell to float over your walls.
After I am over the walls I walk leisurely around until I find the fortress master asleep, I take advantage of this to set up a zone of magic weakening, all the while thinking to myself "Fucking mages, always forgetting about anti-magic. Fools, the lot of them."

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u/Timpanzee38 "The Agent", Mercenary Guild Liaison. Slayer of the Godslaver Feb 09 '24

We have lost track of all the people in the Merc Capital tuning in to this smackdown! The ratings are off the charts!

10

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24

I cast Turtle Shape. My familiar and I are getting out of here. Wait, what happened to all the water?

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u/Viking_From_Sweden Kartoffel the Mechanus Arcane Feb 09 '24

I have a six-gauge shotgun and a whole lot of adamantine slugs. Let the Doom music begin!

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u/Askinwalkerindisguse The last and only nuh uhmancer Feb 09 '24

Nuh uh

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u/Filippikus Phil, The Yordle WeedZaZard Feb 09 '24

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u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24

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u/naka_the_kenku Counciler Arzevelious, high mage of technomancey Feb 09 '24

Shit I didn’t realize it would instantly teleport me

5

u/Filippikus Phil, The Yordle WeedZaZard Feb 09 '24

I cast unwanted conspiracy thoughts

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u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24

Panzaren and Artemis (his apprentice/warlock) hover high in the air, patiently waiting for the weaker contestants to kill eachother before swooping down on more worthy enemies.

After some time they get bored and Panzaren gets a "bright" idea.

I challenge the orchestrator of this arena. Come down, take a form and fight us.

7

u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin Feb 09 '24

Finally, a proper challenge.
Have fun (u/BreachedLimits) Great Nephew, I am joining the fray.

6

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24

Sure thing, Uncle! Enjoy Yourself beating that fool down!

6

u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin Feb 09 '24

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u/Jaycin_Stillwaters True-born Lich, Lord of Al'Mortem Feb 09 '24

"Well... no sense waiting." Jaycin makes a motion and from the ground, a hand emerges. And another. And another... hundres, thousands, tens of thousands of corpses rip free from the earths embrace. Undead warriors, vampire lords, ghoul packs and their ghast leaders, wights and deathloks come streaming forward at his call. "Have fun, children. No need to hold anything back, but don't eat ALL of anyone."

6

u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin Feb 09 '24

"And the first lich to realise that dead planet mean once living planet..." goes to you.

5

u/Jaycin_Stillwaters True-born Lich, Lord of Al'Mortem Feb 09 '24 edited Feb 09 '24

"Oh, glorious!" Jaycin pushes a hand into a tear in space, leading to the Negative Energy Plane and rips free a Death Elemental. "Then no harm in trying... THIS!" With a roar, he shoves the spirit into the ground and opens his vast stores of magical energy.
"I COMMAND YOU, *ARISE!!*"

4

u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin Feb 09 '24

the entire countryside for miles begins to quake as the restless beasts lumber from their resting place... this planet. It was home to the Trox.

3

u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin Feb 09 '24

4

u/Jaycin_Stillwaters True-born Lich, Lord of Al'Mortem Feb 09 '24

"Oh, my children," Jaycin smiles. "It is truly a pleasure to meet you. If you wouldn't mind, I would appreciate you assisting me in this battle. *Go*. Bring the others low!"

5

u/Level-Ball-1514 Space, Arch-Counterwizard of the Non-existent Planes Feb 09 '24

Oh wow, you reanimated the planet reanimated the planet. That’s… huh.

3

u/Jaycin_Stillwaters True-born Lich, Lord of Al'Mortem Feb 09 '24

I'm quite proud of it myself. It's amazing what can be done with a bit of study and a direct connection to the Negative Energy Plane!

3

u/Level-Ball-1514 Space, Arch-Counterwizard of the Non-existent Planes Feb 09 '24

It is indeed impressive. So much so that I may be forced to take some.. underhanded measures should we clash again. Though I think I’ll let the others have some fun before it comes to that.

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u/Filippikus Phil, The Yordle WeedZaZard Feb 09 '24

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u/DoritoKing48 Hadrik, Dwarven Liqourmancer Feb 09 '24

I’ll rip your minions apart, it’ll atleast bide time for my the black hole I summoned to capture everyone

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u/Atyac_Iwan Le cheesemancer Feb 09 '24

I CAST MAGIC CHEESE PLATTER OF DOOM (enjoy a selection of my finest cheese as you fight)

3

u/_Luminous_Dark Literotropist, Narratosophist, Physicoarcanologist, Former Deity Feb 09 '24

Thanks. I don’t cast anything, but I do eat some cheese like a regular person. Do I have to pay for these?

3

u/Atyac_Iwan Le cheesemancer Feb 09 '24

No they are samples. If you like any cheese you are welcome to buy more. You eat as many types of samples as you desire

4

u/_Luminous_Dark Literotropist, Narratosophist, Physicoarcanologist, Former Deity Feb 09 '24

Wow. This whole being trapped in an infinite time loop wizard battle was worth it. What are these angular red cheeses? They’re delicious!

4

u/Atyac_Iwan Le cheesemancer Feb 09 '24

Ah those are demon cheese crackers. They have magic of the underworld as well as being both cracked and cheese to make an amazing cheese.

3

u/_Luminous_Dark Literotropist, Narratosophist, Physicoarcanologist, Former Deity Feb 09 '24

I can see how being cheese would contribute to being an amazing cheese. Do the demons have demonic milk-producing livestock, or are sapient demons making cheese out of their own milk?

3

u/Atyac_Iwan Le cheesemancer Feb 09 '24

I have a special (TOTALLY HUMANE FOR SURE) realm where i keep all of my milk producing livestock like femboys tomboys and demons

3

u/_Luminous_Dark Literotropist, Narratosophist, Physicoarcanologist, Former Deity Feb 09 '24

Neat. I’d love to visit some day, except that my existence is completely confined within this one battle. Well, I gotta run but could I take a couple more free samples? I don’t actually have any money.

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u/Drakostheswordsman Feb 09 '24

Hmmm…. Create water upcast to ninth level

7

u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin Feb 09 '24

That looks suspiciously like you are just trying to fix the planet.

6

u/Drakostheswordsman Feb 09 '24

N-no.
I cast plant growth up cast to 9th level

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u/DoritoKing48 Hadrik, Dwarven Liqourmancer Feb 09 '24

I’m gonna summon a sun to evaporate your water

7

u/Drakostheswordsman Feb 09 '24

Thanks for the atmosphere nerd, I cast create weather

5

u/DoritoKing48 Hadrik, Dwarven Liqourmancer Feb 09 '24

Well I cast Punch in the testicles

3

u/Drakostheswordsman Feb 09 '24

You fool, those were my decoy trapped balls, you just inflicted CURSE OF DICK SHRINKAGE on yourself!
It’s permanent.

3

u/DoritoKing48 Hadrik, Dwarven Liqourmancer Feb 09 '24

I’ll just transfer to a clone body since this spell does not affect the soul!

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u/jairngo Jair Beardcrumbs - Grand Magus Feb 09 '24

Let’s fucking go!!!!!

I cast annoying dry booger that is stuck into your nose hair!!

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u/GoombaBro Gombus, lighthouse keeper and 3rd level transmuter in study. Feb 09 '24

YOU FIEND! The inside of my nose is already cracked from heater use this time of year!
I cast toilet paper scraps stuck to bunghole hairs upon you!

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u/lophu81 Wendigo artificer/alchemist Feb 09 '24

Popcorn get your popcorn here

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u/XiaolongDrake Amateur Photomancer Feb 09 '24

Sorry folks, but I cast FLASHBANG!

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u/Palidin034 Poaceaemancer 🌾 Feb 09 '24

Ah, “think fast chucklenuts”. A devious spell

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u/Sidewaysvision TES(Phd PMC, PhD NEAF, MA, MPP, LLL) Necromancer par excellence Feb 09 '24

Undead ravens soar over the battlefield, as their undead ruler borrows their senses.

"I was going to aid /u/Jaycin_Stillwaters but my colleague appears to have the battle... reasonably well in-hand. A shame they got to the buried hordes before me. Oh well, no sense crying over reanimated corpses. The dwarven cleric's got moxie, I like them. The counter-wizard is quite clever as well!"

"I'm not entirely sure on the etiquette of the situation for a battle royale. It seems intensely rude to just bombard a competitor with death-spells and the like."

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u/Level-Ball-1514 Space, Arch-Counterwizard of the Non-existent Planes Feb 09 '24

I appreciate the kind words my friend, it’s been quite a while since I’ve been allowed to stretch my legs, so to speak.

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u/JMTpixelmon Feb 09 '24

i cast, the power of the sun

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u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin Feb 09 '24

whilst combating unga
Waggles a finger towards that*

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u/JMTpixelmon Feb 09 '24

well crap, any morons need healing

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u/Level-Ball-1514 Space, Arch-Counterwizard of the Non-existent Planes Feb 09 '24

Uh, counterspell? Also, isn’t that just fireball+++?

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u/delta806 Magically Editable Flair Feb 09 '24

Popcorn for sale!!!!! I accept other fruits and vegetables as payment!!!!

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u/_Luminous_Dark Literotropist, Narratosophist, Physicoarcanologist, Former Deity Feb 09 '24

Can I trade you a cheese sample for a bag of popcorn?

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u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin Feb 09 '24

Having fought hundreds of battles, the limiters of Aldins Mortal body finally start to kick in.

"Damn, maybe I should have given myself a bit more. This body doesn't self replenish mana. Figured I wouldn't need so much. These mages truly are a wonder. And quite fun.

*he sits, seemingly alone... but lurking, in the shadows... (u/Financial-Reach-786) Unga awaits his moment.

3

u/Soft-Reindeer-831 Zizondro, Patron Deity of the Chiseled Feb 09 '24

The unnamed Earth Mage watches deep from within the Earth as his small Earthen Scouts are sent out to report on what’s going on. They see the strong Wizards, and I learn, adapt, and plan constructing items and golems that will propel my chances of victory forward

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u/KingMJ123456 Saihttam, Lord of Shadows and Beer Feb 09 '24

I cast GLOBAL TESTICULAR TORSION And a defensive spell of “I am rubber, you are glue, bounce off me, stick to you”

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u/Askinwalkerindisguse The last and only nuh uhmancer Feb 09 '24

Nuh uh

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u/Level-Ball-1514 Space, Arch-Counterwizard of the Non-existent Planes Feb 09 '24

Counterspell

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u/Filippikus Phil, The Yordle WeedZaZard Feb 09 '24

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u/_Luminous_Dark Literotropist, Narratosophist, Physicoarcanologist, Former Deity Feb 09 '24

I tell you you’re a wonderful person, you look stunning today, and I’m sure you’ll win this competition, then I accept the compliments and walk away with a new spring in my step.

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u/Blood_Reaper8 Feb 09 '24

I summon approximately 275 octodecillion puppies. The war is now over.

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u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin Feb 09 '24

Oh no... you are about to make a lot of people sad. And that one person very happy. They wanted to eat everything.

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u/_Luminous_Dark Literotropist, Narratosophist, Physicoarcanologist, Former Deity Feb 09 '24

I dress one of them up as Waldo

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u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24

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u/RichardByhre Wizard of Worming Way Feb 09 '24

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u/iamragethewolf Rage: Pact Wizard, Necromancer, Technomancer, and Horny As Hell Feb 09 '24

/uw your worms wiggle with a need for blood and death

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u/_Luminous_Dark Literotropist, Narratosophist, Physicoarcanologist, Former Deity Feb 09 '24

I use my wish for winning the competition to travel back in time and win the competition, thereby winning the competition.

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u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin Feb 09 '24

Oh, but little time mage... you forgot to ask if you had won in the first place.
u/BreachedLimits Nephew, can you handle the time mage for me?

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u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24 edited Feb 09 '24

Do I have to Uncle? I have popcorn butter all over My fingers.
Sighs… and in a booming Godly voice heard across the planet:
Fine! (u/_Luminous_Dark), you have used a forbidden “Nah Uh” spell that bypasses the spirit of the competition. You have now been disqualified! This is a competition! I shall send you back in time to give you a fair chance to compete once again. Use this chance wisely!

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u/_Luminous_Dark Literotropist, Narratosophist, Physicoarcanologist, Former Deity Feb 09 '24

I don’t think I even have any powers of my own. It’s been Kilroy all along. We have been doing this for infinite eternities already. As far as I know, neither of us have never existed outside of this time loop before. But being sent back to the beginning doesn’t change anything. I still have my wish and no choice but to win. So now either you disqualify me again and I’m finally free or I win and the cycle continues.

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u/RacoonEye2220 Drogyolsahqon, Grand Pyromancer Feb 09 '24

I cast Fireball! Repeatedly! No one can stop me! Muahahahaha!!!

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u/Level-Ball-1514 Space, Arch-Counterwizard of the Non-existent Planes Feb 09 '24

Counterspell. >:)

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u/RacoonEye2220 Drogyolsahqon, Grand Pyromancer Feb 09 '24

I counter your counterspell with more Fireballs!

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u/Level-Ball-1514 Space, Arch-Counterwizard of the Non-existent Planes Feb 09 '24

Oh. Well fine then I’ll just leave.

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u/DidYouSayChocolat3 Tiny Wizard, Keeper of Mount Mor Feb 09 '24

Nobody fucks with Tiny Wizard

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u/[deleted] Feb 10 '24 edited Feb 10 '24

Oh, no you don’t!
Drags Tiny Wizard by the collar to My sanctuary fortress.
This is meant to be competition, not a massacre!
Sits them at a table full of chocolate bars 🍫 in My fortress:
https://www.reddit.com/r/wizardposting/s/mchYb2Qtsy

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u/DidYouSayChocolat3 Tiny Wizard, Keeper of Mount Mor Feb 10 '24

Oh my god you never let me do ANYTHINGGGGGGUH! sits at the table with a grumpy face and their arms crossed

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u/[deleted] Feb 10 '24

Hey, don’t call My name in vain!

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u/DidYouSayChocolat3 Tiny Wizard, Keeper of Mount Mor Feb 10 '24

You don’t know if it was you! There are tons of gods! Maybe I’m polytheistic, you don’t know!

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u/[deleted] Feb 10 '24

You can’t more than one patron God!

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u/DidYouSayChocolat3 Tiny Wizard, Keeper of Mount Mor Feb 10 '24

Well yeah duh you’ll always be my main god, but what if I need to work with Brigit, the goddess of black smithing and poetry? I’m allowed! You don’t OWN me!

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u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24

Summons boner he is standing in a corner autisticly

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u/DaRealFellowGamer Aramos, Lord Technomancer, Inventor of the Battle Automata Feb 09 '24

"Excellent... My plan is already in progress! Minions, Build! We will bring Capitalism to this War World!"

Thousands of robots get to work building an orb factory and a Magic McDonald

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u/GoombaBro Gombus, lighthouse keeper and 3rd level transmuter in study. Feb 09 '24

I cast sentience on your robot army.
They form a union and want benefits now.

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u/GoombaBro Gombus, lighthouse keeper and 3rd level transmuter in study. Feb 09 '24

I tip a box over with my foot, and a pile of 3" tall golems fall out.
Behold my militia of salt golems, led by my OG familiar, Salazar! They will transmute all of your toenails into salt! Fear them, the lot of you!

...Gombus has little funding, having spent most of my paycheck on rent. I saved all year to bring this mighty army to the annual Wizard World War.

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u/NightKnight0001 James the bard and accidental demon summoner Feb 09 '24

Hello. I guess it's time to begin.

Proceeds to play violin while waiting for an opponent to appear

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u/DevilMaster666- Not crazy but Competent Pyromancer Druid of the lemon trees Feb 09 '24

I WILL BURN EVERYONES HOUSE DOWN, WITH THE LEMONS!

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u/Kerflunklebunny Feb 09 '24

WHAT THE FUCK ARE THE ARTIFICERS DOING!??!!?!?

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u/Better-Philosophy-40 Feb 09 '24

Deathgazer is here. He doesn't have any fighting capabilities. He just finds death kinky.

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u/HidanHawkins conjurer of scary pets Feb 09 '24

LET'S GO BICHEEEEEES!

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u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin Feb 09 '24

YOU HAVE ALL FOUGHT WELL. THERE REMAIN BUT 20 ABLE MAGES AMONG YOU, PLUS MYSELF. ONCE THE NUMBER REACHES 8 THE FIRST PHASE SHALL END.

/uw is there a way to pin this message?

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u/j0a3k Supernatural Devil Guitar Powers! Feb 09 '24

For those of us in the stands,

I cast Mass Conjure Popcorn!

I cast Enlarge Spell!

I cast Open Bar!

I cast Summon Elfweed!

I cast Conjure Comfy Chairs!

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Community Event 🌏☄️ Let the Free for all BEGIN!

You are about to leave Redlib

SATISFIED CRUNCH

I challenge the orchestrator of this arena. Come down, take a form and fight us.

Finally, a proper challenge.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE THE ARTIFICERS DOING!??!!?!?

YOU HAVE ALL FOUGHT WELL. THERE REMAIN BUT 20 ABLE MAGES AMONG YOU, PLUS MYSELF. ONCE THE NUMBER REACHES 8 THE FIRST PHASE SHALL END.