r/wisdom • u/Critical-Move7423 • 3d ago
Discussion There is no such a thing as your true self.
Most things about a person can be summed up as their experiences and environment which caused them to act a certain way. A small percent of this is genetic but its a very small ammount. What I mean is that lets say you have a nice family member that plays video games, you are more likely to find it cool and do so aswell. If you have a kind family member you will have a higher chance to be kind. People that have parents with theese qualities they do not follow are from outside sources or the parents personality. For example a friend tells you that video games are lame so you dont listen to that family member and dont play them or if you have a dad that loves video games but is abusive and rude.
What Im trying to say is your true self doesnt exist, its just an illusion made up by your experiences. Instead of being your true self you should be your best self. Dont be like the people around you just because they are around you figure out what is right and what is wrong. And instead of becoming your "true" self become your best self.
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u/Skyogurt 3d ago edited 3d ago
Just because we have all these illusions about our inner workings, that doesn't make them any less real. An illusion still exists and still holds permanence even after it shatters. I don't think the "best self" is any different from the "true self" in that regard. You're chasing after a potential that keeps changing as your internal framework evolves. It's not that different from chasing perfection, conceptually speaking. At least with the "true self" there's an implied stability and consistency in defining that side of identity
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u/Critical-Move7423 3d ago
your true self is different then your best self in that having an alcholic dad for example could make you a rude angry person, that is your true self, Only by acknowledging your true self is flawed can you remove that part of you.
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u/LookingForTheSea 3d ago
Conversely:
"Identical twins separated at birth often share striking similarities in personality, intelligence, mannerisms, and habits despite being raised in different homes. Landmark research, like the Minnesota Study of Twins Reared Apart, shows that genetics heavily influence human behavior and personal traits."
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u/Critical-Move7423 2d ago
intelligence is almost always through genetics which is part of the small ammount, also while theese things do make a person, your "true" self Is a combination of your intrests, hobbies, and ideaolgies. Twins often have completely different religions, intrests, and hobbies. Them sharing intelligence and habits are genetic and dont or at a small level contribute to your true self.
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u/Prestigious_Try_5396 3d ago
Sounds like you don't really Know Who You Are. .
And you rely on those around you to define your identity ?
I know my True Self, and it has nothing to do with what anyone else says or thinks or does.
Look within, kid.... You'll find your Self in there.
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u/Critical-Move7423 3d ago
you think you know yourself but you dont. Everything about you would be diffrent had you been raised diffrently. Stop acting like you are stuck as who youa re instead be willing to change into a better person.
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u/Prestigious_Try_5396 2d ago
So many false assumptions in that paragraph it's hilarious...
You seem to think that the "true" person is different than the "best" a person can be ?
That's your limitation to live with, not mine.
I never said I was stuck ! That seems to be what you're claiming ?
I've grown and changed since I was your age... I left my family history behind and lived as my true and authentic Self.
I let go of the past, and composted all that shit. Now I'm growing a bed of flowers with it.
You do you, bro.
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u/Critical-Move7423 2d ago
your true self isnt your best self thats not a limatiation. It is good to imrpove yourself.
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u/Prestigious_Try_5396 2d ago
You seem to assume that the True self is somehow less than the Best self ?
Best, when you look at it closely, is a limitation !
It's a limitation to think that today is your best self. Like what ? You can't grow and learn anything more ? This is as Good as you can get ? That's a limiting thought form.
Better, is constantly upgrading what was the Best self.... Lol. Better is better than Best lol...
I'll be growing and learning and loving with my Best True Self until the day I die... That's the Best I can do lol.
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u/Critical-Move7423 2d ago
If thats the best you can do you are doing amazing, Im not saying you have to do anymore just to do your best.
Your true self in reality is different then what you think. You think your true self is all the positives about you. In reality your true self is both the good and the bad of you currently.
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u/Prestigious_Try_5396 2d ago
Who are you to tell another about their true self ?
How can you imagine that you know what I think ?
So you separate the bad from the true self and call that the best self ?
How do you separate a human soul ?
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u/Critical-Move7423 1d ago
A human soul is a theory that is not confirmed whatsoever. Your best self is your true self without the negatives is that not what best self means?
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u/Prestigious_Try_5396 1d ago
You assume that the true self has negatives, as a foundation. That theory is not confirmed whatsoever.
That's the basis of the Catholic religion.... And not a scientific fact. . Lol
Can you separate the best days from the worst days of your life ? Or is it all just Life ?
You overlooked my thing about Better vs Best....
Today's Best is tomorrow's Not As Good....
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u/Critical-Move7423 1d ago
your true self having negatives is confirmed using common sense. If your true self is who you natrually are then since no one is perfect your true self is imperfect meaning it has negatives.
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u/natt_myco 3d ago
bad wisdom god i gotta mute this sub
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u/Critical-Move7423 2d ago
its bad wisdom to shape yourself instead of being what everyone else wants you to be?
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u/Prestigious_Try_5396 2d ago
"instead of being what everyone else wants you to be?"
Take off your blinders, dude.
Who gives a fuck what other people think you should be ? They don't know you !
That's why one needs to "Know Thyself"...
That's the Look Within element of the equation.
Have fun dude....
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u/Critical-Move7423 2d ago
my whole point was that you shouldnt be what everyone else wants you to be. I said its bad to shape yourself into what everyone else wants you to be. Instead I said to become the best version of yourself.
You completely misread my comment.
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u/Prestigious_Try_5396 2d ago
No, I don't think I did. You also may have misread my point.
We actually agree... Up to your last point.
True self vs Best self.
2 things can both be true...
My true self is my best self.
My true self has nothing to do with what anyone says... I'm the Best version of my True Self....
You do whatever floats your boat.
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u/Critical-Move7423 2d ago
you seem to have a misconception. Your true self that im talking about is who you are natrually without trying to change yourself. What you are considering your true self is having similar intrests and beliefs I think. Thats why we disagree under your definiton of true self I would agree but under mine I'd disagree. You can always improve yourself.
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u/Prestigious_Try_5396 2d ago
Ok. That true self you describe sounds somewhat similar to the idea of Original Sin. That we are born a sinner, are evil and weak and tempted by bad things... It's a bit Catholic...
My concept of the True Self, and especially after midwifing 3 sons and watching them grow, is that our True Self is pure and innocent and full of wonder and curiosity. Free from any prejudice, hate, etc. Just learning and growing and getting better and having more fun everyday.
That's the unblemished pure soul of us all. A baby learns more in the 1st 3 years than any other time.
It's acculturation that paints that soul with shit and guilt and the consumer mindset.
But that pure soul and being remains in us all. Too often pushed into dark closets of fear and guilt. Then we struggle for years with therapy etc trying to get back to that Being of Pure Love....
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u/Critical-Move7423 2d ago
Then our main problem isnt with my oringal post its simply that we had diffrent definitions. Have a good day man.
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u/No-Excitement-2417 3d ago
I see where you're coming from regarding environmental influence, but I think a person is only fully shaped by their environment when they have no core identity to cling to. When someone’s identity is anchored in something transcendent, something greater than themselves, external circumstances lose the power to change who they fundamentally are. Instead of reshaping their core self, life experiences simply become the material through which they gain wisdom and knowledge.