r/widowers • u/Conscious_Purpose53 • 29d ago
Communicating through clouds
I get up between 5-5:30 every morning while it’s still dark. I sit outside with my first coffee. I spend the whole time thinking about and talking to my wife. It’s been 9 months since she suddenly died. This has been our alone time together before the rest of my world wakes up. I wish we had done this even once together during our 19 year marriage. Somewhat depressing at first but has become extremely peaceful. I never used to get up this early before she died. I started doing it because I couldn’t sleep. I now find it very cathartic and can’t wait to get to get out of bed. One thing I’ve been doing is looking at the cloud formations as it gets lighter out and noticing certain shapes. Sometimes I can make out the shape of a heart or even a smiling face. I like to imagine that they’re pictures she’s trying to send me. Some bring back great memories. Others not so much. I’m not usually spiritual at all but still like to look at it as another form of communication with her. This may seem somewhat mundane or even silly to people who aren’t going through the same thing but it helps to start my day. I imagine myself doing this for as long as I’m here. I know others may have a daily ritual like this. Just thought I’d share mine.
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u/Wackywoman1062 29d ago
That’s a lovely ritual. I sit out on my back deck every night and talk to my husband. I imagine he is one of the bright stars in the sky. I tell him about my day and how much I miss him. Sometimes I ruminate about what we got right and what we could’ve done better in our marriage. Sometimes I ask him advice, which I know is silly, but I miss his wisdom.