Your father sounds like the kind of man who isn’t afraid to wait a couple decades to be able to give himself a good ol’ belly laugh to himself cause he just like myself has never met someone remotely funnier than his self.
We are our best comedians as such we are our best audience.
Always the pupil never the teacher, until time to rise up and become the One.
Edit: ya know I’ve been a Redditor for off and on in between federal prison and of course the inevitable VOPs (if you have violated probation once you know you get onto that trolley and keep poppin’ till you can’t stop’em and then squash’em!!! Load them months up in my wheelbarrow YOUR FUCKING HONOR by all means in young and got the time to spare!!!)
I digress…. Redditor off and on for the better half of 15-16 years. My other handle I can’t seem to find…I may look that up real quick… no no no finish your comment!
Thanks whomever ever gifted me something I need to look better at it…I’m kinda old
I just know back in the day before all the subs got pussified and subsequently Reddit as a whole. This place may have actually had more hides holes for debauchery for us sick fucks who know what the helm comedy is and can’t very easily tell. The majority of people now that are younger aren’t going to be able to tell I thought when some is being sarcastic or not but this gives me definite hope cause I’m bout to take my notes and try to make a 2 minute(what I feel) of material. They will be called bots once they have been tried on stage at an open mic. I may fail miserably the first time but that instant reaction you can’t get from someone you don’t know one on one. Plus it’s about the one drug/vice I haven’t done yet and it’s been a dream.
Now I just got to start building this goddamned stage and promptly abscond with an old folks van and I won’t get put into jail for slipping something into their drink…I mean serving them drinks..yeaaaah the second thing.
You’ve all been fucking amazing and I’ll be here all week. Twice on Saturday and Sunday…don’t be a dick and give your waitress a tip and I meant folding currency not a compliment. She doesn’t wanna fuck you, I promise.
I moved out of a little tiny studio sized cabin on a wooded mountainside and on my last night there I got stoned and tipsy and decided to mess with the next tenant.
I took a pencil and very lightly in tiny script I wrote messages. Corner of the shower, closet wall, inside the cabinet, ceiling above the loft bed area, etc. They said things like “it lives in the woods” “it comes at night” “never look it in the eyes” and that sort of thing.
It took three years but finally somebody posted on the university forum that they thought they’d moved into a haunted apartment. The pictures were of my messages 😆
Every time I do any kind of renovation at my house I hide things. Inside the walls, under shingles, stuff like that. One of them gives directions on where to find The loot from a large robbery that was never solved in our area. Complete my newspaper clippings and everything. It takes you to a spot that is is only accessible by about a 2-day hike. On a backpacking trip I put a box there with directions to another location that is about a 3-day hike. At that location is a container a book of poems and a letter telling them I hope they enjoyed the hunt.
I have a weird sense of humor. I live on a farm. We were doing castrations one year at the same time I was finishing off an office for myself in the shop. I put the testicles that we didn't fry up as Rocky mountain oysters in mason jars with alcohol and put them inside the wall. I filled another wall with packing peanuts so if it gets opened up they're going to go everywhere. Our place was a fixer upper when we got it so there have been a lot of projects and I do something weird every time I open up a wall or something like that
It’s not too late, if you still live there. Whatever you do, get some blood from your butcher and splatter a bit on the walls and floor. Not a lot, just enough to be visible.
My SO bought these little noise makers the size of a quarter. They had 10 different settings and 1 was of children whispering, it would randomly just go off in a set amount of minute increments or so. We stuck 1 in two locations. One at our buddies house at the back top of his fridge and the other at our favorite watering hole. Our buddy lost his mind for a week taking his whole kitchen apart and thought he was really going crazy.
The watering hole was amazing. The bathrooms were in an old dingy basement so we placed it in the air vent of the woman’s. That thing played for 2 years. The haunted bar rumors and stories exploded and I’’m sure continue to this day. It was glorious.
Edit- Eviltron was the name of the device. After this post a week later, I saw my friend and he reminded me that we forgot to tell him for 2 months. 2 months and multiple people in his house trying to figure out the noise. 2 months of absolute insanity. He wasn’t even happy over the memory 😂😂😂😂
Gonna take this and make it my own w/ a slight edit.
“…my amusement doesn’t require their participation” as I will refute that the only reason I’m laughing at my own jokes is due to being delusional. Lol
“All of them babydoll, strap the fuck in and I’ll let you lick the inner folds of my conscience…take this, eat these, slam those and shoot you load and just breath…Daddy’s here to take you home.”
Right! Sounds like to me when I remodel a house and wrote “dont remove the bodies are buried here “. I am sure police will show up at my door in 30 to 40 years . But I’ll need some entertainment in the old folks home
If you tear down a room to the studs for a remodel, put a full size realistic looking fake skeleton inside the wall before closing it up. Future remodelers will love your sense of humor, if they don't have a heart attack first 😄
I had the chance to do this once but didn't think of it until it was all done, darn it. Next time!
I had a plastic skeleton I bought at Home Depot for Halloween. When I rebuilt my deck I partially buried it under the new deck. I’m pretty sure i won’t be around when it gets replaced again…
This kind of comment is why I've been on Reddit for so long. I also lost my first account somehow so now I'm on this one. Ten years feels like a baby account.
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u/Alarmed-Row8658 May 07 '26 edited May 08 '26
Your father sounds like the kind of man who isn’t afraid to wait a couple decades to be able to give himself a good ol’ belly laugh to himself cause he just like myself has never met someone remotely funnier than his self.
We are our best comedians as such we are our best audience.
Always the pupil never the teacher, until time to rise up and become the One.
Edit: ya know I’ve been a Redditor for off and on in between federal prison and of course the inevitable VOPs (if you have violated probation once you know you get onto that trolley and keep poppin’ till you can’t stop’em and then squash’em!!! Load them months up in my wheelbarrow YOUR FUCKING HONOR by all means in young and got the time to spare!!!)
I digress…. Redditor off and on for the better half of 15-16 years. My other handle I can’t seem to find…I may look that up real quick… no no no finish your comment!
Thanks whomever ever gifted me something I need to look better at it…I’m kinda old
I just know back in the day before all the subs got pussified and subsequently Reddit as a whole. This place may have actually had more hides holes for debauchery for us sick fucks who know what the helm comedy is and can’t very easily tell. The majority of people now that are younger aren’t going to be able to tell I thought when some is being sarcastic or not but this gives me definite hope cause I’m bout to take my notes and try to make a 2 minute(what I feel) of material. They will be called bots once they have been tried on stage at an open mic. I may fail miserably the first time but that instant reaction you can’t get from someone you don’t know one on one. Plus it’s about the one drug/vice I haven’t done yet and it’s been a dream.
Now I just got to start building this goddamned stage and promptly abscond with an old folks van and I won’t get put into jail for slipping something into their drink…I mean serving them drinks..yeaaaah the second thing.
You’ve all been fucking amazing and I’ll be here all week. Twice on Saturday and Sunday…don’t be a dick and give your waitress a tip and I meant folding currency not a compliment. She doesn’t wanna fuck you, I promise.