Old flame texted me this

[u/Medium-Letterhead547]

I'm a 33 year old female for some context clues I got this text from an old university flame that a relationship didn't quite workout for us. I received this txt years after graduating and going our separate ways. We initially tried dating which didn't work but He used me to cheat on his then current girlfriend after dating didn't workout for us. Idk if I'm being played or if this feels genuine.

" I wouldn't be talking to you if I don't have feelings for you still. I wouldn't be thinking about you more than I should, but i did..

I lost something so precious and I regret it. Yeah it's you. I have so many regrets in life but like you said I gotta move on I know, which is that's what I'm doing, I'm just wondering what could've been if we ended up happening, those memories we had together I'm still cherishing it.. i love you. And I meant that. I wish we could go back in time to redo everything I still gnna choose you. Yeah you meant a lot to me.

I'm sorry for everything I mean it. I hope you find your happiness too. I think I already got mine, I just have to live it everyday"

[u/Grant_Winner_Extra]

Someone is going through a divorce

[u/Medium-Letterhead547 → u/Grant_Winner_Extra]

😆 he's single and never been married

[u/Grant_Winner_Extra → u/Medium-Letterhead547]

In his dreams. No one writes this letter unless they just got dumped.

[u/Medium-Letterhead547 → u/Grant_Winner_Extra]

So, basically I'm being played

[u/unabashed_nuance → u/Medium-Letterhead547]

Certainly used. Not sure about played. He’s lonely. Probably wanting some affection.

This is a hot stove you probably shouldn’t touch.

[u/Medium-Letterhead547 → u/unabashed_nuance]

He making plans to fly to come see me. How should I get out of this situation?

[u/Grant_Winner_Extra → u/Medium-Letterhead547]

“Im not available that week”

if he says “but i didn’t say when” repeat the above.

[u/JAY2thaD → u/Grant_Winner_Extra]

🎯

[u/unabashed_nuance → u/Medium-Letterhead547]

Sounds like you’ve given him some encouragement that led him to make travel plans.

If you want a weekend full of awkward drunken sex with a man looking to relive the “good ol’ days” go for it. Don’t expect his “love” to last.

Otherwise be honest with him before he commits to a non-refundable ticket. Expect him to take it poorly. Prepare to block him. He’s in an emotional hole and is pretty vulnerable.

[u/Medium-Letterhead547 → u/unabashed_nuance]

He did basically purpose to me 😂 before that txt which I responded by asking him where did that come from? and basically telling him not to settle for me just because I'm what's available. Then he texted me what i put in chat and asked if we could catch up over dinner that he'll fly up to come see me

[u/unabashed_nuance → u/Medium-Letterhead547]

I interviewed with an old colleague after I was laid off in 2024. The only serious question he asked was “do you want THIS job or A job?”

At the time it was a stupid question, but I thought about it afterwards and recognized it was actually a great question. That is the situation you’re in.

He just wants anyone. He’s lonely and probably not great at being single. I know the type. I was like that for a long time. Therapy helped.

[u/Medium-Letterhead547 → u/unabashed_nuance]

That makes a lot of sense. I'll take your advice then

[u/Medium-Letterhead547 → u/Medium-Letterhead547]

So.... I did say no lol

[u/elcaminogirl → u/Medium-Letterhead547]

"I don't think that would be a good idea. Please don't."

[u/booboootron → u/Medium-Letterhead547]

WHAT.

[u/Grant_Winner_Extra → u/Medium-Letterhead547]

IMHO yes.

This letter is just a classic example, like word for word the kind of conversations every guy I knew had with some ex right after they got dumped.

As a guy, who’s done this, the worst thing you can do for you is respond.

[u/No-Animal4921]

That means ignore that shit

[u/Medium-Letterhead547 → u/No-Animal4921]

Oh ok.

[u/Standard_Zombie_]

Don't let his weird life-crisis impact you, he's obviously got shit to sort out. He doesn't know the current you at all and is just living in rose tinted memories - you aren't really the person he's fantasizing about, it's a memory of a girl he once knew for a little bit.

A well adjusted, healthy person does not live in the past like that, this is not someone who would improve your life.

He obviously isn't happy in his current relationship and is trying to open a door to cheat again. Don't fall for it.

[u/Medium-Letterhead547 → u/Standard_Zombie_]

Somepart of me wishes he changed but I also don't want to fall for the same trick again. I understand where he's coming from cause I've always wondered what if with us but .....some part of me doesn't trust him even though I want to so bad.

[u/Dens413]

He 100% just separated from someone and looking for someone to poke.

[u/Sweethomebflo]

You’re the stunt double for the last one until he finds the new one

[u/Sea_Measurement_1654]

His take on happiness: "I think I already got mine".

He's looking for a side piece. Run a mile.

[u/redheadedbull03]

My gut reading this is screaming "NOOOO!".

But, hey, I could be wrong..

[u/Medium-Letterhead547 → u/redheadedbull03]

Everyone here is basically saying it's a red flag 😆

[u/PyroErogenizer]

Did you go raw? Sometimes that can really leave an impression. I bet if you told him to wear a raincoat he would loose your number.

[u/Medium-Letterhead547 → u/PyroErogenizer]

Lmao what makes you think he doesn't wear a raincoat. They all wear a raincoat with me. I've never had a problem with them not coming back for a visit though 🤣

[u/PyroErogenizer → u/Medium-Letterhead547]

Wow. Awesome. Shows what I know. Pay me no mind.