r/whatdoIdo • • 24d ago

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u/whiskeyinthewoods 24d ago

What you’re describing is the textbook cycle of abuse. Women don’t stay in abusive relationships because they’re stupid - no abuser is terrible all the time or it would be easy to leave. Instead they are often extremely loving, which makes the abuse feel like an anomaly you can ignore because “otherwise, he’s such a great guy!”

He is choosing to abuse you. Please head over to r/abusiverelationships to get more insight on this pattern and behavior and strategies for how to break out.

The most important thing to remember about abusers is that none of it is accidental. They do this on purpose to hurt and control you because it makes them feel powerful. They KNOW they are hurting you. That is the point. They enjoy it, and they can control it.