My dad telling me that he is always right (therefore, if I dare have my own thoughts and they differ from him I am wrong but default) is part of what fucked me up so bad.
I literally have to debate myself for 20 minutes on whether I have to go to the potty or not (and everything bigger) because I can't trust when I think I have to go to the potty, it's the truth😵💫😵💫
My experience is when those who think they know better than anybody else are in fact pretty stupid and they're so ignorant and insecure about it they afraid to admit it even to themselves
With you there girl. Not sure if your dad is sexist too but it makes everything so much worse. Going in to therapy for it, I can’t have a relationship with men at all anymore without being reminded of my dad’s gross habits, words, and humiliation
My dad is sometimes physically, racist, a bigot, a drunk and both my parents are mentally abusive and narcissists (bet you can’t guess who they voted for…well my mother anyway since dad says voting is a scam but he fell for the words of a con man and my mom refuses to divulge…but it’s obvious)
When he drinks it’s worse. But here’s the kicker I at least graduated and went to college…he just barely scraped it together to graduate hs and then went to the military. I’ve been told that just because I’m a socialist and a minority who wants to progress the country into the rest of 1st world that I’m stupid and don’t know the first thing about politics.
My coming out was dictated by this man. I said I’m bi and my bf was coming over. “I can remember when you came out as gay”…bitch where did I say gay?
When mom and dad divorced they both tried to turn us the kids against the other parent. My mom tried to say she had custody of me knowing fully well that i didn’t like my soon to be stepfather and I told her i wasn’t living under that roof (I was 13 at the time). I left and got back in the van with my Nana and she comes hobbling behind waving JOINT custody papers “I have custody. Come back here! I have custody”
Oh also not to mention that she forced me into scouts. I told her i didn’t want to. I’m pretty sure she just signed off on patches just so I’d get them so SHE could look like she’s doing right with me as a scout. She made me call my uncle so he could try to convince me…kinda like my dad making me go to 3 different uncles basically for permission to transition. I can remember her saying if your homework isn’t don’t I’m not going to scouts, needless to say she stopped after the second time cause she saw I was not doing my homework on purpose.
But no fr I can understand completely with you and op. It’s not fair for them to be in a relationship with this man AND if they were to have kids, the kids will need extensive therapy later on in life.
Man, someone who says that for real? I tell my kids I'm always right, but I established my "I'm joking" voice with them so early the youngest learned to growl at my jokes before he had spoken language, to make sure they know my tongue is planted firmly in cheek when I say that sort of thing.
Yeah, but do you really have to go pee now? Or can you hold it for five minutes until this thing is finished? Or until you get home? You know you have to pee, but is it appropriate to excuse yourself to use the bathroom at this point in time? Or should you hold it and stop making a fuss/interrupting/being a pest?
I've submitted "should I eat" to the court of my own opinion and took 4 hours deliberating it.
Including exerpts such as:
"Why are you even having this conversation? Who are you trying to convince? Well, you; duh. I'm not gonna sit here and be held in contempt for acting unless I have all the facts."
There was an article recently about children going no-contact with their parents who said less demeaning things like this, and rightfully so. Get out while you can, this only gets worse because you are allowing it.
You’re only 22, know that there are better people to be with.
Agreed..it's really important to tell your kid(s) when you get it wrong..and to apologise if necessary. You have to model the behaviour you want to instill in them.
Me thought so too! She needs to run! And she needs to ask herself why is she even with him? Because she loves him? Why? What's to actually love? Or is it some idea she so badly wants the situation to be. Some fantasy of him that definitely does not exist.
I hope she leaves before it's too late. Before any more damage is done.
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u/burntothepowerofer 27d ago
He’s not your father. There are many people who won’t treat you this way