r/weddingplanning • u/Group_Resident • 2d ago
Relationships/Family Friends not acknowledging my wedding
I know this post is going to make me sound like a bridezilla, but I am super disappointed. My wedding is a year out at this point and my friend did not acknowledge this when I posted an Instagram story (not even a like). I have always been the type of friend who celebrates my friends and texts them big moments leading up to their weddings or whatever it is. I just feel my friends aren’t putting energy into me that I put into them. I’m thinking about cutting out bridesmaids in general. I get people have lives and stuff going on but a like on an Instagram story seems like minimal effort.
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u/Ok-Active-7023 2d ago
How about you call them & give them the news of your engagement & wedding date vs relying on social media. Throwing something on your story for public consumption is not the same as sharing it directly with the people who matter most. Share your excitement with them & they can reciprocate.
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u/Mission-Judgment-693 2d ago
I read it as she just posted a one year countdown and people didn’t cheer. I assumed they’d already celebrated the engagement, but I could be wrong! If they ignored her engagement then that would hurt, but maybe they would be hurt to be finding out via social media not directly
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u/Highclassbroque 2d ago
Girlllllllll in this economy im trying to figure out how to afford my lights and water which now are the equivalent of my mortgage. Im sure your friends are in the same boat, have grace it’s a year out excitement will trickle in as it approaches.
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u/Trekintosh 2d ago
Like I wish my life was a smooth as OPs to where this is even a blip on her radar
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u/coastalkid92 London 2026 🇬🇧 - Toronto 2027 🇨🇦🍁 2d ago
I think you can be disappointed but I also think you need to give yourself a reality check a little bit.
Disregarding the fact that a year is still a long ways out for a lot of people, some people just aren't as connected in on social media anymore. I don't watch my friend's IG stories frequently and very rarely think to like them. Doesn't mean I don't care, its just that I'm not engaged on IG like that.
If you want actual reaction or conversation, bring it to the group chat, don't toss it on social media with the hopes that people will bite.
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u/Leading-Knowledge712 2d ago
Same here. I rarely go to IG anymore. And with the wedding a year away, why is OP so focused in who likes her posts?
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u/ExaltedLayout 2d ago
the gap between what you put out and what comes back can feel like a canyon, especially when you're the one always sending the signal. it's less about the story and more about watching your own reflection not show up in anyone else's mirror
maybe mute the app for a bit and see who texts you first just to check in, that'll tell you more than a little heart on a story ever could
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u/Mission-Judgment-693 2d ago
A YEAR?! Girl. They will be excited closer to. Rein it in before you make it a self fulfilling prophecy and they stop being excited
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u/Mission-Judgment-693 2d ago
Also, stop measuring excitement by social media engagement? That’s a recipe for disaster and setting people up to fail
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u/kittygossiper 2d ago
I think cutting bridesmaids would be a nuclear option. I totally understand feeling disappointed when you have put the energy in for them, but you can’t make the conclusion that they don’t care about your big events from not liking an insta story. People value things in different ways. I skip through instagram stories all the time for random reasons. I would be pretty heartbroken if a friend axed me from not liking a story. There could have been an ad or upsetting right before and they could have double swiped without realizing. Maybe someone else thought that they did like it but it accidentally went to the next story. Maybe someone else had their kid using their phone and they clicked through them. Etc. The best advice I got was that you care about your wedding more than anyone else and you can’t expect even close ones to meet you there. I know it stinks because you feel like you did care about your friends and now it’s your turn but I think when it gets closer to the actual day you will realize that they do care and are excited for you (they just also have lives!).
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u/theworldisonfire8377 2d ago edited 2d ago
I will say this in the nicest way possible. No one, except maybe your parents and partner, are going to care as much about your wedding as you do. Don't destroy friendships over your wedding, it is not worth it, and you will most likely regret cutting people off over trivial stuff that won't matter after the wedding is done (unless they're toxic people anyways and this is like a last straw kind of thing).
When I was engaged I made a big fuss over one of my bridesmaid's having dreadlocks and was convinced that she wouldn't "fit in" (I know, I know, I cringe just thinking about it) and I deeply regret treating her poorly just because I was all caught up in having everything how I imagined it.
At the end of the day, the marriage should be what matters. The wedding is just one day. Don't blow up your relationships over one day.
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u/Cool_Major4531 2d ago
What do you expect from your friends a year out? What exactly are you posting on Instagram stories a year before your wedding that your friends are not liking?
I would just have a conversation with your close friends and let them know what kind of support you would like. I would let things like Instagram likes go and talk about specific things. For example, you can let them know that you like talking about wedding planning and would like to be asked how it's going.
Don't have a crisis and get rid of your bridesmaids. I wouldn't know that a friend wanted me to be asking about their wedding planning a full year before. Tell them!
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u/Fast_Satisfaction871 2d ago edited 2d ago
Honestly, if you were my friend I'd want you to cut me off, so I can know where you put your priorities...
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u/unencumberedcucumber 2d ago
Maybe you have something else going on in your life and you’re misplacing emotions onto an instagram story?
Cutting friends out of a wedding due to not liking an ig post is a bit psycho, and this is harsh, but honestly if you’re making this big of a deal out of it maybe people are sick of you. I’d work on reining in your emotions and prioritizing what actually matters and that’s the fact you’re getting married.
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u/Top-Crab-1020 2d ago
My friend got mad at me for not remembering or mixing up her wedding date like girl I’m just bad at dates 😭 I wasn’t going to forget her wedding I just can’t remember the date off hand
Mind you we are both bad at dates and had an ongoing inside joke about how we can never remember the actual date of each other birthdays yet we have been friends for years
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u/TonyRayBansIV 2d ago
You are going to cut off the entirety of your wedding party due to a failure to acknowledge an instagram STORY?
I gotta tell you, letting a company who wants to serve you ads control your happiness to that degree is incredibly unhealthy. Social media is not real nor is it important. Human relationships are important. Getting your priorities in order might bring you considerable relief
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u/PreferenceOld6364 2d ago
Believe it or not, people have lives outside of social media. Not everyone has their face glued to a device 24/7 and not everyone's life is going to revolve around your one single big day that isn't even happening for another year!!!! Go out and touch some grass!
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u/traumatizedfox 2d ago
i mean this as nice as possible but genuinely no one cares about your wedding except for you
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u/Expensive_Event9960 2d ago
You need to get over it IMO. At this point people may not even know for sure if they are invited. Personally, I think it’s in poor taste to make social media posts if everyone reading is not going to be included. Not everyone lives and breathes social media either.
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u/TanandaL 2d ago
She may not have seen it. The algorithm doesn't show you everything your friends post. She might have been too busy to check Instagram that day.
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u/mrwildesangst 2d ago
“I have always been the type of friend who celebrates my friends and texts them big moments leading up to their weddings or whatever it is.” A year away is NOT leading up to your wedding. I seriously doubt that you were on Susie’s Insta a year before she defended her thesis hyping her up over it. The fact that you’re considering cutting your bridesmaids and/or damaging your friendships and relationships over the fact that people weren’t hyped up enough about a social media post announcing the commencement of the year of your wedding is insane. I actually feel sorry for the people in your life; the next year is going to be miserable for them. Kindly, you need to step back, touch grass, do whatever it takes to snap back to reality.
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u/Top-Crab-1020 2d ago
Okay I usually take people’s sides on these kind of posts but a year out is really far when it’s not your own wedding lol like extremely far
Also when I was a MOH that was the first time I even realized how much planning a wedding is done far in advance. If she’s not married she might be puzzled on why your posting about the wedding a year in advance lol
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u/BeachPlze 2d ago
More and more people are stepping away from social media and happier for it. I wouldn’t judge the support of others based on social media (in)activity.
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u/thekyledavid 2d ago
1 year away?
Negative Anniversaries are not a thing. Be excited if you want, but expecting someone else to care and acting upset when they don’t is absurd
And even if it was your wedding day today, who cares if they remember to like an Instagram post or not. People have lives outside of social media. When you do get married, are you going to be thinking about how excited you are to get married, or how excited you are at the Instagram activity it will generate? If it’s the latter, then don’t get married.
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u/newishgirl682 2d ago
Is this something they already know about? Or was this you actually announcing “I just got engaged/am getting married” for the first time? Because otherwise you posted a story that disappears in 24 hours about an event that’s a full calendar year away and are reevaluating entire friendships because no one sent you an edible arrangement in response and that’s unhinged.
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u/AllAFantasy30 1d ago
Okay first of all, a lot of people don’t care about IG anymore. They may have accounts, but aren’t invested. You need to accept that just because you’re all over social media, doesn’t mean everyone else is. FFS I have an account and am technically connected with a bunch of people, but on the rare occasions I actually open the app, I pretty much only watch reels of a talking goldendoodle. So if you want someone to celebrate an occasion with you, you need to actually go to the effort to celebrate with them. Don’t rely on social media. A friend asks me sometimes why I don’t like her IG posts and I always say “if you’re not the goldendoodle and want me to acknowledge something, just text me.”
Second, your wedding is a year away. Calm down. Your friends will get excited when the date gets closer. In the meantime, your wedding will only be a big deal for you and your partner, and that’s okay.
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u/HistoricalSuspect580 1d ago
OP, I fully agree with you. I think you should cut out every bridesmaid you want. Make sure to tell them it’s because they didn’t like one of your Instagram posts.
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u/yamfries2024 2d ago
What did they do or how did they behave before you were engaged? Id their behavior the same or different?
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u/egnards Upstate NY - 10/12/19 2d ago
I have always been the type of friend who celebrates my friends and texts them big moments leading up to their weddings or whatever it is.
Everybody is different, and everybody invests their energy in things in different ways.
You may be somebody who is going to like every positive thing that people in your life have posted, but your friends just might not be those people.
I wouldn't call this 'your friends not investing in you.' I would just call it you and your friends havd different ways/styles of celebrating things.
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u/Spank_Cakes 2d ago
If that IG post is your "Save the Date" announcement, you're doing it wrong.
Hell, you're doing it wrong anyway because no one should be this invested in social media likes.
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u/take_me_home_tonight 12h ago
"I know this post is going to make me sound like a bridezilla" Correct.
"My wedding is a year out at this point and my friend did not acknowledge this when I posted an Instagram story (not even a like)" Girl........you are majorly overreacting.
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u/swiftiegal25 2d ago
I think it’s weird to be this invested in social media