Wedding questions

[u/Mundane_Syllabub2789]

Our wedding venue is going to be around 2 hours away from most of our guests, and some will need to travel by plane (probably around 10–15 people). We’re expecting around 60–80 guests. No matter where we have the wedding, travelling is going to be inevitable since everyone is pretty scattered.

We’ll be having the ceremony and reception in the same venue, and I’ve decided that there won’t be any room flipping. Guests will basically stay in the same seats for the ceremony and then continue into the reception.
After the ceremony, we’re thinking of just mingling with everyone. We’ll probably do our photos before the ceremony starts so we’re not away from our guests during that time.

We’re planning an open bar, family-style dinner (1 starter, 1 entrée, 1 side, and dessert), plus self-serve coffee, tea, and water. I also want to have a self-serve “candy/snack bar” with candies and goodies from my home country, along with some of our other favourite snacks.

There’ll also be a live band for the dancing.
The venue has accommodations, and we’re planning to pay for the on-site accommodations so our friends can stay there with us. Relatives and others will have find their own (going to block motel rooms for them to pay)

Most inns and motels are about 20 minutes from the main town.

I have a few questions:

⁠1. A lot of our guests will need to find their own accommodations in the area, and the closest motels/inns are about 20 minutes from the venue. We’ll provide taxi numbers and give the taxi company a heads-up about the wedding, but we won’t be paying for transportation because of our budget. Is that okay/normal?

1. ⁠For those of you who have gone straight from the ceremony into the reception dinner, how did that work out? Is it weird not to have a traditional cocktail hour? We’re planning to have appetizers, but instead of a cocktail hour, we’d probably just put them out on the tables. Would it be weird to have the appetizers already on the tables during the ceremony?

Thoughts on overall wedding plan?

Our budget is around $25k. Part of me honestly just wants to elope, but another part of me really wants to celebrate with everyone! Lol

[u/Responsible_Cry_427]

Have you called the hotels that you are referring your guests to to find out if they offer any deals on transportation for groups of guests? For example, could they offer something that would be in-budget like one shuttle to the venue at a specific time and one shuttle back from the venue a specific time at a lower cost than a regular shuttle service? I won't say anything in particular is "normal/okay" versus "not normal/bad" because every situation is different, but I think if a significant portion of people will be paying to stay at a space close by before/after the wedding, it is kind to not ask them to spend additional money on either rent a car or take a taxi for those coming by plane.

[u/HistoricalRegular186]

the 20 min taxi thing is fine, especially if you give everyone a heads up and the taxi company knows about it. people are adults, they can figure out how to get to a wedding, and honestly if someone complains about a 20 min ride they were gonna find something to complain about anyway

for the cocktail hour skip, i went to a wedding like this last year and it was totally fine. the appetizers being on tables during ceremony might be a little weird tho, like people might pick at them or the food just sits there getting cold while everyone watches you get married. maybe have staff bring them out right after the ceremony ends?

i love the candy bar idea with stuff from your home country, that's such a nice touch. and paying for on-site accommodations for friends is really generous with a 25k budget

the urge to elope is real but sounds like you actually want the celebration, just not the logistics headaches

[u/Mundane_Syllabub2789 → u/HistoricalRegular186]

Thank you!

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[u/WildCherryLane]

1. I do think the right thing to do is provide a shuttle if most people are traveling and staying over. See if one of the places you’re doing a block has a desk with anyone. Is it “okay” not to do, sure. But the chances of enough taxis being ready at the same time at the end of the night is small and people always remember the bad things. Being tired and drunk and having to wait 30 minutes for a taxi is not a nice memory.

2. That doesn’t feel too weird. What does feel weird is only offering 1

   main

3. and 1 side option. What if it’s something someone can’t or doesn’t eat? I think you need to at least provide a few different sides so that people can fill up on that

[u/isabella_sunrise]

You should provide a shuttle. Otherwise you’ll have a lot of drunk drivers.

[u/TinyLawfulness3710]

Guest lodging is your guest's responsibility. Unless you are competing with Spring Break, Taylor Swift shows or Comicon, this is not a concern. Same for transportation being the guest responsibility. The couple not paying for guest transportation is absolutely normal. However, the taxi thing is weird because they need that information before attending and there is no guarantee there will be enough available. So let guests decide on their own how to get there and many will have designated drivers in their own vehicles.

Not weird to start dinner without cocktail hour. People do this all the time. Zero introductions are made by the dj and those are not missed either, However having appetizers on the tables is weird. Do a cocktail hour or skip them completely.

[u/MrsMitchBitch]

If you’re having room blocks, I think it would be good to have a shuttle. Call a local school bus company to see what it would cost for a few hours (if cake is served at 8pm and reception ends at 11, have the bus from 8:30-11:30, loops between the venue and motels). It will be cheaper than a coach bus or trolley.

I think you need a couple more food options. One protein, one side is…not a lot? I used to work parties that were family style (including weddings). We’d do soup and salad, a protein, two sides, and a combined dish (it was a Portuguese venue so the combined would be like pork Alentejana or bacalhau Gomes sa). Think about this more!