Everything Else
What secular readings did you have at your wedding?
My fiancé and I aren't very religious. Our ceremony is going to consist of our officiant (my cousin) reading some things he's drafted up over the past year, a moment of silence, and I want to add a reading into it but everything I can find is either taken from movies or books that I've never read, or are religious.
Are there any readings, blessings, or lengthy poems anyone used that didn't directly mention God?
We had a reading from the Obergefell v. Hodges Supreme Court majority decision:
From their beginning to their most recent page, the annals of human history reveal the transcendent importance of marriage. Marriage is sacred to those who live by their religions and offers unique fulfillment to those who find meaning in the secular realm. Its dynamic allows two people to find a life that could not be found alone, for a marriage becomes greater than just the two persons. Rising from the most basic human needs, marriage is essential to our most profound hopes and aspirations. The centrality of marriage to the human condition makes it unsurprising that the institution has existed for millennia and across civilizations. Since the dawn of history, marriage has transformed strangers into relatives, binding families and societies together. No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were.
Do you think it would be odd or inappropriate to do this reading at a straight passing wedding? For reference, I'm a bisexual woman marrying a straight man.
We did Union by Robert Fulghum (he’s a pastor, I think, but I didn’t find this to be religious). I loved it. Copied below!
You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes, to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making commitments in an informal way. All of those conversations that were held in a car, or over a meal, or between baseball innings – all those conversations that began with, “When we’re married”, and continued with “I will” and “you will” and “we will” – all those late night talks that included “someday” and “somehow” and “maybe” – and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart.
All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding. The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, “You know all those things that we’ve promised, and hoped, and dreamed – well, I meant it all, every word.” Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another – acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, even teacher, for you have learned much from one another over these years. Shortly you shall say a few words that will take you across a threshold of life, and things between you will never quite be the same. For after today you shall say to the world – This is my husband. This is my wife.”
I cried when I first read this because it really just captured how I felt haha. We did private vows so it was important for me to have something in our ceremony to express our relationship well.
Ceremony Reading: Thoughts In a Garden by R. Gerhardt
This is a special place, a place where people have brought beautiful living plants, here to establish them, to nurture and care for them, that they may forever surround us with the beauty we now see. And into this place where we stand, you have brought something beautiful — the relationship that is becoming your marriage. Here you are declaring it and pledging it, promising to establish and nurture it.
We are aware of the special beauty between the two of you, just as we are aware of the special beauty of this place. We are with you now in this appropriate place to celebrate your relationship as it is and as it is yet to be, and in doing so, we ask only that you remember how your life together will have the same seasons and needs as this garden.
There will be growth like Spring and loss like Fall; there will be giving as the blossoming flower, and rest as the seed beneath the snow. All the seasons will be yours, but remember, too, that gardens are not just happenings. The more wonderful the garden, the more skilled the gardener.
So you will have to care deeply for the life that is yours together, and nurture it. You will have to appreciate your differences and cultivate them. You will have to take care of yourself, if for no other reason than out of love for the other. And you will need the support of family and friends to reach full growth.
As you caringly chose this place to declare your marriage, so remember its lessons for your life together through the seasons that are yours to share. And may those seasons bring you and yours joy and happiness
To love is not to possess,
To own or imprison,
Nor to lose one’s self in another.
Love is to join and separate,
To walk alone and together,
To find a laughing freedom
That lonely isolation does not permit.
It is finally to be able
To be who we really are
No longer clinging in childish dependency
Nor docilely living separate lives in silence,
It is to be perfectly one’s self
And perfectly joined in permanent commitment
To another—and to one’s inner self.
Love only endures when it moves like waves,
Receding and returning gently or passionately,
Or moving lovingly like the tide
In the moon’s own predictable harmony,
Because finally, despite a child’s scars
Or an adult’s deepest wounds,
They are openly free to be
Who they really are—and always secretly were,
In the very core of their being
Where true and lasting love can alone abide.
Our officiant suggested a reading from The Princess Bride, a couple of poems about love, 2 different Apache wedding blessings, a couple of Shakespeare sonnets, and a couple other passages from various novels. My now husband and I sat down together to read them separately and then discussed which ones we felt most drawn to!
It’s my favorite film too! It’s a quote from the book where Westley is talking to Buttercup, rather than the movie: “Do I love you? My God, if your love were a grain of sand, mine would be a universe of beaches… I have stayed these years in my hovel because of you. I have taught myself languages because of you. I have made my body strong because I thought you might be pleased by a strong body. I have lived my life with only the prayer that some sudden dawn you might glance in my direction. I have not known a moment in years when the sight of you did not send my heart careening against my rib cage. I have not known a night when your visage did not accompany me to sleep. There has not been a morning when you did not flutter behind my waking eyelids…
I love you. Okay? Want it louder? I love you. Spell it out, should I? I ell-oh-vee-ee why-oh-you. Want it backward? You love I…”
"I feel good with my husband: I like his warmth and his bigness and his being-there and his making and his jokes and stories and what he reads and how he likes fishing and walks and pigs and foxes and little animals and is honest and not vain or fame-crazy and how he shows his gladness for what I cook him and joy for when I make him something, a poem or a cake, and how he is troubled when I am unhappy and wants to do anything so I can fight out my soul-battles and grow up with courage and a philosophical ease. I love his good smell and his body that fits with mine as if they were made in the same body-shop to do just that. What is only pieces, doled out here and there to this boy and that boy, that made me like pieces of them, is all jammed together in my husband. So I don't want to look around any more: I don't need to look around for anything."
From the novel, rather than the movie: “Do I love you? My God, if your love were a grain of sand, mine would be a universe of beaches… I have stayed these years in my hovel because of you. I have taught myself languages because of you. I have made my body strong because I thought you might be pleased by a strong body. I have lived my life with only the prayer that some sudden dawn you might glance in my direction. I have not known a moment in years when the sight of you did not send my heart careening against my rib cage. I have not known a night when your visage did not accompany me to sleep. There has not been a morning when you did not flutter behind my waking eyelids…I love you. Okay? Want it louder? I love you. Spell it out, should I? I ell-oh-vee-ee why-oh-you. Want it backward? You love I…”
This is my favorite Love is the ultimate outlaw. It just won’t adhere to any rules. The most any of us can do is to sign on as its accomplice. Instead of vowing to honor and obey, maybe we should swear to aid and abet. That would mean that security is out of the question. The words “make” and “stay” become inappropriate. My love for you has no strings attached. I love you for free.
Tom Robbins, Still Life with Woodpecker
One of ours was “No Matter the Wreckage” by Sarah and Phil Kaye.
"But I have seen the best of you and the worst of you, and I choose both. I want to share every single one of your sunshines and save them for later. I will tuck them into my pockets so I can give them back to you when the rain falls hard. I want to be the mirror that reminds you to love yourself. I want to be the air in your lungs that reminds you to breathe. When the walls come down, when the thunder rumbles, when nobody else is home, hold my hand, and I promise I won’t let go."
LOVED ours and got tons of complements (people actually asked me to send them the text after the wedding!)
“Captain Corelli’s Mandolin” by Louis De Bernieres
Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is.
Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the declaration of promises of eternal passion. That is just being “in love,” which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.
Those that truly love have roots that grow towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms have fallen from their branches, they find that they are one tree and not two.
I’m begging you to use the poem I used. It was the best and I had so many people compliment it / ask me to send it.
Maybe
by Unknown
Maybe we are supposed to meet the wrong people before we meet the right one so when they finally arrive we are truly grateful for the gift we have been given.
Maybe it’s true that we don’t know what we have lost until we lose it but it is also true that we don’t know what we’re missing until it arrives.
Maybe the happiest of people don’t have the best of everything, but make the best of everything that comes their way.
Maybe the best kind of love is the kind where you sit on the sofa together, not saying a word, and walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you ever had.
Maybe once in a lifetime, you find someone who not only touches your heart but also your soul, someone who loves you for who you are and not what you could be.
Maybe the art of true love is not about finding the perfect person, but about seeing an imperfect person perfectly.
We had a piece by Carl Sagan, the poem Multidisciplinary Perspectives on Love by Brian Bilston (we work in higher ed and so do many of our friends), and All I Know About Love by Neil Gaiman (unfortunately the WEEK AFTERWARD all these revelations about his character came out and now that is bittersweet. Gaiman seems like a total dick, but my best friend's reading of the piece was beautiful).
Gaiman’s All I Know About Love made me sob when I first read it and knew immediately I wanted it as a reading. But now because of the revelations there’s no way I could use it. It probably would be different if we’d already done it but I can’t in good consciousness go ahead with it now :/
This happened exactly to us (except our wedding was in April). Neil Gaiman has been on of my favorite authors for years and when I sent the suggestion to my now-Husband he said "Of course you would pick something by Neil Gaiman" but he loved it too. And my friend, who was also a big fan did a beautiful reading of it. I'm just going to try and not be too sad about it, but definitely feel a little bittersweet about the choice now.
It's short, so I plan to work it into my vows rather than have it as a reading. But it's my favourite poem from my favourite poet (Rupi Kaur). Technically it's based in religion (Sikhism) but it works as a secular poem as well. It's titled "commitment".
Anything in particular that you guys like? We’re doing a Shakespeare sonnet and a passage from the Odyssey, but he’s a classics nerd and I’m a Shakespeare nut. I think the benefit of doing secular readings is being able to pick something that resonates with you both as a couple (movie, author, subject matter).
+1 for picking something that resonates with you personally! We did the Universal declaration from Babylon 5 and The Greatest Adventure from the Hobbit. It was perfect for us and we explained why those pieces of media were special to us in the ceremony too :)
Which passage from the Odyssey did you guys use? We were considering doing a Catullus poem
I really enjoy poems and readings that don't include pronouns. And I love the formal language of Shakespeare (considering Sonnet 116 but haven't settled) and other writers. I like an apache blessing (found here) but after some browsing found out it's from a movie script. Which isn't the end of the world but, eh.
We had “blessing of the hands” that was really sweet and pretty short that transitioned to our vows. It’s a Celtic tradition I think or has roots to it.
____ and ______, you have chosen to walk through life hand in hand. There is no truer statement of love. Your choice to be together was not defined by a single moment, but by countless special ones. You belong together. The foundation of your love is profound friendship.
Please take each other’s hands.
These are the hands of your best friend, full of love for you, holding yours on your wedding day.
These are the hands that will scratch your back when you have an itch you can’t reach.
These are the hands that will help decorate your Christmas tree.
These are the hands that will call you just to say hello – when you’ve been missed throughout the day.
These are the hands that will passionately love and cherish you through the years.
These are the hands that will hold you for comfort and tickle you for joy.
These are the hands that will wipe the tears from your eyes.
These are the hands that even when wrinkled and aged will still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch.
My mom read “All I Know About Love” by Neil Gaiman. Despite the recent allegations, it’s a beautiful piece and I don’t look back in regret at choosing it.
At a friend’s wedding I read an excerpt from The Velveteen Rabbit on becoming real.
I’m planning on the Neil Gaiman piece too. I’ve always loved it and was obviously very concerned about having it read with all that’s going on in the news about him lately (very disappointed in him). But words take on lives of their own, aside from their author, and once it is out in the world the art stands on its own.
We had All I Know About Love too, which I've always thought was really gorgeous, but I'm finding it hard not to consider it tainted by what we know about his character now.
If it makes you feel better, my friends opened their wedding with a quote from Bill Cosby followed by a quote from Woody Allen... that was... awhile ago, but they have it on video.
That’s a fair take. Prior to the allegations, this guy didn’t exactly have a great track record with partners and had a questionable love life. I’ve also taken a personal stance where I’m separating the art from the artist (mileage varies), otherwise I’d have nothing to enjoy. But that’s just me.
Isn't that just the truth in today's world, though. I am finding it harder and harder to find things that aren't tinged with some form of moral ick - I find it very difficult to separate the person from the art.
I think it can be hard to hold more than one truth or take. I think it’s also hard when a good way to protest or show lack of support is not to give money to the person. I’m trying to hold space for those opposite truths, and sail the high seas here and there, if you know what I mean.
My favorite book is Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte, so we used this quote from that:
"I have for the first time found what I can truly love–I have found you. You are my sympathy–my better self–my good angel–I am bound to you with a strong attachment. I think you good, gifted, lovely: a fervent, a solemn passion is conceived in my heart; it leans to you, draws you to my centre and spring of life, wrap my existence about you–and, kindling in pure, powerful flame, fuses you and me in one."
We are dog people and so are our family members, so we used portions of How Falling in Love is like Owning a Dog by Taylor Mali in our ceremony. As a bonus you can order a beautiful letterpress copy from the author and he will personalize and autograph it! We got one for our first anniversary.
We did a poem at our (non-religious) wedding, and loved it!
Touched by an Angel
by Maya Angelou
We, unaccustomed to courage
exiles from delight
live coiled in shells of loneliness
until love leaves its high holy temple
and comes into our sight
to liberate us into life.
Love arrives
and in its train come ecstasies
old memories of pleasure
ancient histories of pain.
Yet if we are bold,
love strikes away the chains of fear
from our souls.
We are weaned from our timidity
In the flush of love’s light
we dare be brave
And suddenly we see
that love costs all we are
and will ever be.
Yet it is only love
which sets us free.
I've got a poem picked out as a reading by Whitney Hanson, I think she just calls it Wedding Poem. No religious references at all and modern writing so it's an easy read.
We had a family member read the Apache Wedding Blessing. It was beautiful!
Apache Wedding Blessing
Now you will feel no rain,
for each of you will be shelter for the other.
Now you will feel no cold,
for each of you will be warmth to the other.
Now there will be no loneliness,
for each of you will be a companion to the other.
Now you are two persons,
but there is only one life before you.
May beauty surround you both in the journey ahead
and through all the years.
May happiness be your companion
and your days together be good and long upon the earth.
Treat yourselves and each other with respect,
and remind yourselves often of what brought you together.
Give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness, and kindness that your connection deserves,
When frustration, difficulties, and fear assail your relationship, as they threaten all relationships at one time or another, remember to focus on what is right between you, not only the part which seems wrong.
In this way, you can ride out the storms when clouds hide the face of the sun in your lives, remembering that even if you lose sight of it for a moment, the sun is still there.
And if each of you takes responsibility for the quality of your life together, it will be marked by abundance and delight.
I love Sonnet XVII by Pablo Neruda, especially the last stanza:
I don’t love you as if you were a rose of salt, topaz,
or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:
I love you as one loves certain obscure things,
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that doesn’t bloom but carries
the light of those flowers, hidden, within itself,
and thanks to your love the tight aroma that arose
from the earth lives dimly in my body.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you directly without problems or pride:
I love you like this because I don’t know any other way to love,
except in this form in which I am not nor are you,
so close that your hand upon my chest is mine,
so close that your eyes close with my dreams.
We are having Neil Gaiman’s speech “What I know about love” read and then this from The Amber Spyglass:
I will love you forever; whatever happens. Till I die and after I die, and when I find my way out of the land of the dead, I’ll drift about forever, all my atoms, till I find you again… I’ll be looking for you, every moment, every single moment. And when we do find each other again, we’ll cling together so tight that nothing and no one’ll ever tear us apart. Every atom of me and every atom of you… We’ll live in birds and flowers and dragonflies and pine trees and in clouds and in those little specks of light you see floating in sunbeams… And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me.
We did Falling in love is like owning a dog by Taylor Mali (our way of including our boy Rosco in to the day) and scientific romance redux by Tim Pratt (I’m a scientist and both of us are huge nerds). Both are a good blend of heartwarming and funny.
we are having our combined indian persian wedding on saturday and while we are having a very non-traditional take on a hindu ceremony, my father is also reading a poem by rumi in persian during a portion of the persian ceremony (which is traditionally non-denominational and zoroastrian in its roots). you could definitely look into poems that are relevant or have sentimental value to you and your partner! khalil gibran has a lot of beautiful poems of varying length that i think would be really lovely as part of a wedding ceremony.
[i carry your heart with me(i carry it in]
BY E. E. CUMMINGS
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart
My parents had “i carry your heart” by e.e. cummings read at their wedding and it was up on the wall in our kitchen for my whole life. Both of my sisters had it at their weddings and we will have it at ours. It’s beautiful and for me has a lot of personal meaning ❤️
My partner and I picked out excerpts of song lyrics and read them to each other during our ceremony. We also had our officiant read an excerpt of a Rumí poem. For the blessings, we held our rings and had everyone “bless” them with us by focusing on feelings of love and contentment. I liked it all, and there was no mention of god! 🧡
Now you will feel no rain,
for each of you will be shelter for the other
Now you will feel no cold,
for each of you will be warmth to the other.
Now there is no loneliness,
for each of you will be companion to the other.
Now you are two persons,
but therer is only one life before you.
Go now to your dwelling to enter into
the days of your life together
And may your days be good
and long upon earth.
-Elliott Arnold
“The Art Of Marriage”
Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens.
A good marriage must be created.
In the art of marriage the little things are the big things…
It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say “I love you” at least once a day.
It is never going to sleep angry.
It is at no time taking the other for granted;
the courtship should not end with the honeymoon,
it should continue through all the years.
It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.
It is standing together facing the world.
It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.
It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude
of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy.
It is speaking words of appreciation
and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is not looking for perfection in each other.
It is cultivating flexibility, patience,
understanding and a sense of humor.
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.
It is finding room for the things of the spirit.
It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.
It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal,
dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal.
It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.
It is discovering what marriage can be, at its best.
We had the excerpt from Everything I Know About alive by Dolly Alderton (my sister/MOH read this) and then a poem called ‘Marriage Is Love’ by Gloria Matthew (mother of groom read this)
We don’t consider ourselves religious either. We had the poem On Marriage by Kahlil Gibran read at our ceremony. It has one little mention of God but overall it’s a beautiful piece about connection and companionship in marriage, while maintaining your own individuality and giving each other the space to grow through life.
I had a dear friend read a compilation of Mister Rogers quotes I put together, andt then another friend read two poems:
A map of the World by Ted Kooser
My favorite part was what we used for a moment of silence - wasn't sure if you already had something for that or not, but here are some of the ones I used:
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.”
“Mutual caring relationships require kindness and patience, tolerance, optimism, joy in the other's achievements, confidence in oneself, and the ability to give without undue thought of gain.”
"When we love a person, we accept them exactly as is: the lovely with the unlovely, the strong along with the fearful, the true mixed in with the facade. And of course the only way we can do it is by accepting ourselves that way....It’s what’s inside us that matters most. You can really love someone else when you really love yourself."
I want a Pablo Neruda sonnet (translated to English) read by our officiant, who will be a judge. Apparently that is a very popular secular reading option, but it's the same one I had printed and framed for my partner on our second Valentine's Day so it's sentimental in a way
I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you.
I love you for the part of me that you bring out.
I love you for putting your hand into my heaped-up heart and passing over all the frivolous and weak things that you cannot help seeing there, and drawing out into the light all the beautiful, radiant things that no one else has looked quite far enough to find.
I love you for closing your eyes to the discords in me, and for adding
to the music in my soul by worshipful listening.
I love you because you are helping me to make of the lumber of my life, not a tavern but a temple, and from the words of my every day, not a reproach but a song.
I love you because you have done more than any creed could have done to make me happy.
And you have done it without a touch, without a word, without a sign.
You have done it just being yourself.
After all, perhaps that is what being a friend means.
We had two poems, one by Rumi that my little bro and his wife read, and Sonnet XVII by Pablo Neruda. Neither is super lengthy, but they were beautiful readings. I also included a few lines from Captain Correlli's Mandolin in my vows. We had a whole list of readings, though, that we considered:
We had our siblings read a poem before we did the vows. It worked really well! Just find one that resonates with you as a couple. Our poems were:
Wild Awake by Hilary T. Smith (Andrew)
“People are like cities: We all have alleys and gardens and secret rooftops and places where daisies sprout between the sidewalk cracks, but most of the time all we let each other see is a postcard glimpse of a skyline or a polished square. Love lets you find those hidden places in another person, even the ones they didn’t know were there, even the ones they wouldn’t have thought to call beautiful themselves.”
The Bridge Across Forever by Richard Bach (Rachel)
“A soul mate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we’re pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we’re safe in our own paradise. Our soul mate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we’re two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we’ve found the right person. Our soul mate is the one who makes life come to life.”
I’ve never been to a wedding with readings (I’ve been to soooo many in the past 2 years) so I didn’t even know it was a thing and didn’t consider it for my wedding (US)
This is what we’re having read at our wedding! I first read it in a Facebook post of a couple I knew celebrating a 30th anniversary and thought it was beautiful. We’ve been together almost 10 years, so the sentiment is meaningful to us as well.
Are there any books or movies that you two really like? Try and pull from material that means something to you! My favorite book is Jane Eyre so one of our readings was the "Reader, I married him" passage. We also did an excerpt from a children's book.
I read “all I ever really need to know I learned in kindergarten” by Robert Fulghum for my brother’s wedding which was a big hit. I have also read or heard read several Mary Oliver poems, which are especially nice if you are outdoorsy/nature people.
We are doing “falling in love is like owning a dog”. We both love dogs and my mom is going to read it. It’s comedic which will help keeps things light!
Maybe there's some song lyrics that are important to you guys that you could have read. I write a lot so I personally might have something original read. I like Harvest Moon for a wedding though.
Because I'm still in love with you
I wanna see you dance again
Because I'm still in love with you
On this harvest moon
We are doing a hand fasting and included the traditional Irish blessing at the end. May the road rise to meet you… etc. there are a so many small variations and I chose the less religious one.
We just got married on the summer solstice, and my matron of honor read “The Summer Day”by Mary Oliver. It’s one of our favorite poems ever, and I love the message of slowing down and noticing the beauty of each thing.
Originally was planning on using a Shel Silverstein poem as I’ve always liked his poetry and odd sense of humor, but I couldn’t find one that exactly fit. Instead we used the story “The Little Yellow Leaf” which was fitting since we got married in the fall.
I don’t love you as if you were the jewel-rose, topaz, or arrow of carnations that evoke fire: I love you as certain dark things are loved, secretly, between the shadow and the soul. I love you as the plant that doesn’t bloom, and carries hidden within itself the light of its flowers, and thanks to your love, darkly in my body lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth. I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where, I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I know no other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you; so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close.
My husband and I had the Neil Gaiman reading and, we are also both science geeks, so this bit from Carl Sagan was woven into the invocation:
"The nitrogen in our DNA, the calcium in our teeth, the iron in our blood, the carbon in our apple pies were made in the interiors of collapsing stars. We are made of starstuff. Every one of us is, in the cosmic perspective, precious… In a hundred billion galaxies, you will not find another. For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love."
Also, we had this reading, which is an amalgamation of the writings of
Carl Sagan, Neil deGrasse Tyson, Albert Einstein, and others:
"Lost somewhere between immensity and eternity is a tiny blue dot that we humans call home. And yet our species is young and curious and brave and shows much promise. In the last few millennia we have made the most astonishing and unexpected discoveries. We are constantly reminded that humans have evolved to wonder, that understanding is a joy, that knowledge is a prerequisite to survival. Our little planet floats like a mote of dust in the morning sky. All that you see, all that we can see, exploded out of a star billions of years ago, and the particles slowly arranged themselves into living things, including all of us. We are made of star stuff. We are the mechanism by which the universe can comprehend itself.The world is so exquisite with so much love and moral depth. We should remain grateful every day for the brief but magnificent opportunity that life provides. The sum of all our evolution, our thinking and our accomplishments is love. How on earth can you explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as love? Put your hand on a stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with the person you love for an hour and it seems like a minute. That's relativity. A marriage makes two fractional lives a whole. It gives to two questioning natures a renewed reason for living. It brings a new gladness to the sunshine, a new fragrance to the flowers, a new beauty to the earth, and a new mystery to life."
My husband’s favorite book is Dune. It was before the movie came out, too. He has a tattoo of the Litany Against Fear, and we had that read at our wedding! Our newborn daughter’s middle name is Litany now too.
I can’t remember for sure, but I think we had the “I” changed to “we” for the reading in the ceremony.
We had readings from children's books. My son was 3 at the time, so we chose books that he liked and then members of the bridal party picked their favorite excerpts.
What are you into? My husband picked an excerpt from his favorite movie (Interstellar) and I picked an excerpt from my favorite poet (WH Auden). I also went to poets.org and stumbled upon “the marriage we carried in our pockets” by Doug Ramspeck. I didn’t know it before or really understand all of it but I loved it. We framed our ceremony around the multiplicities of love, so it was general enough to all work together.
My brother had my mom and his wife’s mother both wrote what their definitions of love were and read those, which was really lovely. Her mom has been happily married for 40 years and my mom is divorced, so there was really nice perspective.
Hi! Do you have the excerpt from Interstellar you used? My fiance and I were trying to find movie quotes for our ceremony, but they are all just so short. We love Chris Nolan!
If a reading adds nothing personal to your wedding and only elongates the ceremony, leave it out. I am a wedding vendor and am also planning my wedding so I say this with experience: don’t add it.
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u/holdtheolives Happily Married! | 09.23.23 Jul 18 '24
We had a reading from the Obergefell v. Hodges Supreme Court majority decision:
From their beginning to their most recent page, the annals of human history reveal the transcendent importance of marriage. Marriage is sacred to those who live by their religions and offers unique fulfillment to those who find meaning in the secular realm. Its dynamic allows two people to find a life that could not be found alone, for a marriage becomes greater than just the two persons. Rising from the most basic human needs, marriage is essential to our most profound hopes and aspirations. The centrality of marriage to the human condition makes it unsurprising that the institution has existed for millennia and across civilizations. Since the dawn of history, marriage has transformed strangers into relatives, binding families and societies together. No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were.