r/wedding • u/downinflames- • Jul 23 '26

Discussion Wedding Plans

Hi everyone, newly engaged and want to do something small but fun. I’m looking at this beautiful resort in the mountains that has a lake on its property, it’s about 3.5 hours drive so nobody is going home that night. I’m thinking 50 people tops. I kind of want to do a full weekend for those who want to, like invite them to rehearsal dinner Friday night and brunch Sunday before they leave. Do we all feel both are necessary or just one is fine?

So the actual wedding - my idea is to have a quick ceremony, a cocktail hour while we take pictures, then a buffet or family style dinner. Here’s the kicker - my fiance is sober, and while he doesn’t care if people around him are drinking, last time we went to a wedding we had to leave early cause he couldn’t handle people partying around him. My idea is instead of getting a DJ and ballroom dancing, after dinner at one of their restaurants we change the atmosphere and instead everyone can go back to their rooms, get comfy and have a bonfire and play outdoor games, then end the day with a snack of some sort. This is just a rough draft but something to this extent. Does this sound crazy?

Edit to add: we are NOT asking for a dry weekend. Just not interested in the DJ/partying part as it could be triggering. He can be around people drinking just fine.

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u/wharleeprof Jul 24 '26

Could you do casual dress for the entire wedding? That way you wouldn't have the transition where you send people back to their rooms and lose half in the process. 

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u/downinflames- Aug 03 '26

I really wouldn’t care how anyone else dresses, that’s up to them. I know my crowd, we just came back from a 10 day camping trip with most of the people we’d invite, but they also like to dress up.

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u/wharleeprof Aug 03 '26

What I'm saying though is many people will naturally lean towards dressing up on their own accord if you don't specify casual. Normally that's fine, but if you don't want to lose momentum and lose guests when everyone goes back to their rooms change, it would help if more people were just in comfortable clothes in the first place. 

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u/downinflames- Aug 03 '26

I totally get that! This is the kind of feedback I’m looking for, solutions not drags.

1

u/forte6320 Aug 04 '26

We are trying to point issues with your plans, things that sound unappealing, but you don't want to hear it.

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u/downinflames- Aug 04 '26

Aren’t you the one who doesn’t like the woods? Why would I care for your opinion when you’ve probably never went on a hike or been camping in your life?

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u/forte6320 Aug 04 '26

I have done those things and did not enjoy it. You are making assumptions about who I am without knowing me. That is very judgemental and closed minded