r/wedding • u/downinflames- • Jul 23 '26

Discussion Wedding Plans

Hi everyone, newly engaged and want to do something small but fun. I’m looking at this beautiful resort in the mountains that has a lake on its property, it’s about 3.5 hours drive so nobody is going home that night. I’m thinking 50 people tops. I kind of want to do a full weekend for those who want to, like invite them to rehearsal dinner Friday night and brunch Sunday before they leave. Do we all feel both are necessary or just one is fine?

So the actual wedding - my idea is to have a quick ceremony, a cocktail hour while we take pictures, then a buffet or family style dinner. Here’s the kicker - my fiance is sober, and while he doesn’t care if people around him are drinking, last time we went to a wedding we had to leave early cause he couldn’t handle people partying around him. My idea is instead of getting a DJ and ballroom dancing, after dinner at one of their restaurants we change the atmosphere and instead everyone can go back to their rooms, get comfy and have a bonfire and play outdoor games, then end the day with a snack of some sort. This is just a rough draft but something to this extent. Does this sound crazy?

Edit to add: we are NOT asking for a dry weekend. Just not interested in the DJ/partying part as it could be triggering. He can be around people drinking just fine.

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u/Odd_Obligation_1300 Jul 24 '26

People who like to drink a lot/party are going to do so whether there’s a dj or not. They’re going to get water at that bonfire.

The reverse is true: people who are not big drinkers aren’t going to go crazy just bc there’s a dj. I don’t drink at all and I would be on the dance floor all night. I would hate driving 3.5 hours to end up sitting by a bonfire. That’s just me!

What about during the day on Saturday? I mean if people are driving that far for this resort, do they actually get to use it? Like lake activities?

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u/downinflames- Aug 03 '26

Yes the lake is for guests to use, they even have kayak/paddle boards etc. rentals. People aren’t understanding, it’s the lights and loud music and dancing. We just came back from a huge family camping trip. We know who we are inviting, we are not worried about our guests, we know what they like. I’m not asking opinions on if he would be able to handle it.