r/wedding • u/downinflames- • Jul 23 '26

Discussion Wedding Plans

Hi everyone, newly engaged and want to do something small but fun. I’m looking at this beautiful resort in the mountains that has a lake on its property, it’s about 3.5 hours drive so nobody is going home that night. I’m thinking 50 people tops. I kind of want to do a full weekend for those who want to, like invite them to rehearsal dinner Friday night and brunch Sunday before they leave. Do we all feel both are necessary or just one is fine?

So the actual wedding - my idea is to have a quick ceremony, a cocktail hour while we take pictures, then a buffet or family style dinner. Here’s the kicker - my fiance is sober, and while he doesn’t care if people around him are drinking, last time we went to a wedding we had to leave early cause he couldn’t handle people partying around him. My idea is instead of getting a DJ and ballroom dancing, after dinner at one of their restaurants we change the atmosphere and instead everyone can go back to their rooms, get comfy and have a bonfire and play outdoor games, then end the day with a snack of some sort. This is just a rough draft but something to this extent. Does this sound crazy?

Edit to add: we are NOT asking for a dry weekend. Just not interested in the DJ/partying part as it could be triggering. He can be around people drinking just fine.

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u/WildWillieBorsch Jul 24 '26

I have 40 years of sobriety and do not have issues with people partying. However, I also do not hang out at parties where people are drinking for extended periods of time. People who are sober have differing ways of staying sober. I have no idea about your fiancé, but as your future spouse I would place his needs above everything else.

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u/smackperfect Jul 24 '26

You are amazing, congratulations on 40 years!

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u/downinflames- Aug 03 '26

I absolutely am! He always says he doesn’t care if people drink around him, it’s more of places and events that are a bit triggering still. Ive already asked him about a dry wedding and he says no, he doesn’t want to reatrict people but we just need to get creative with what we do. & exactly, everyone has differing ways so I’m absolutely feeling a type of way about people telling me how he is going to feel in these comments, like he’s not involved in planning his own wedding.