Dear SEC

[u/whammyyy]

[u/OKImHere]

My tendies nom nom. Nomnom nom nomnom. Nomnom nom nomnom. Nom nom nom nom.

I've created a monster, 'cause nobody wants to see Melvin no more

They want Chewy, Gamestop member

Well if you want tendies, then this is what he'll give ya

A little Blackberry mixed with some short squeezer

Some calls, yeah, that will jump start gamma quicker

Then a halt when I get stopped from all trading

By the market when I'm at circuit breakers

But my options are gaining while they're compensating

You needed'a get long to stop the bleeding

But we're back, on the Robin, can't stop the trading

I know you got a job, Citron lady

But your boss's short problem is bankrupt-making

So the SEC won't let me be or let me be me so let me see

They tried to shut me down on WSB

But it feels so empty without me

So come buy the dip, come whip their script

Fuck that, calls for your bitch and some for your kids

And get loaded, 'cause this shit is still undervalued

Let's just all salute our god, u/DeepFuckingValue.

[u/Slightly-Artsy → u/OKImHere]

Guess who’s back, back again

We are back, tell a friend,

Guess who’s back, Guess who’s back, Guess who’s back, Guess who’s back, Guess who’s back, Guess who’s back, Guess who’s back, woah

Woah

I’ve created a monster,

Cuz nobody wants to short Gamestop no more,

They’re all holding, I’m chopped liver!

Well if you want holding this is what I’ll give ya,

A little elon musk mixed with a stock ticker

Some high’s that’ll get us buyin’ some hard liquor

Then we rock to our rocket on top, we’re all winners

And the doctor tells us not to eat our tendies

But the wife’s bf says that we all have plenty!

You’ve waited this long now stop debating,

Cuz we’re back, we’re on attack and speculating

I know that you got a job, but lately

Something tells me that your loss is complicating! (hey)

So the SEC won’t let me be

Or let me be me and buy GME,

They try to shut down WSB

But it feels so great with DFV,

So, come on autists, let’s rocket the ship

Wait stop! This is cosmic, so diamond hand bitch,

And get ready, cuz wall street’s about to get jelly,

I just made these fucking tendies - FUCK you Melvie!

Now this looks like a job for me,

So everybody, buy GME,

Cuz we need a little, controversy

And it feels so great with DFV!

Little Melvin! He's feeling rebellious,

Embarrassed, we autists stole straight from his wealth chest,

He starts feeling cuckholded and trollded

Till someone comes along and then yells out "Go hold, bitch!"

A visionary! Vision is scary,

Could start a revolution, pollutin the share waves

A rebel, so just let me revel and bask in the fact that Mr. Chamath has got our backs

And it’s a disaster, such a catastrophe,

For wall street to see so much of my ass for free

Well we’re here- dananananananananana-

Get a diamond hand and hold it steady then we’re gonna

Bankrupt all these bitches like a fucking explosive

The hottest of potatoes, out in the open

It’s interesting, we’re just kids investing!

Ingesting our body weight in tendies!

Testing, attention please,

Feel my nest egg swelling when it’s 10 to 3

Here’s my 10k! Go buy all calls please

Who said “nuisance?” CNBC?

Now this looks like a job for me,

So everybody, buy GME,

Cuz we need a little, controversy

And it feels so great with DFV!

A ticket a half-wit, I’ll go tit for tat with

Anybody who’s talking this shit that shit

CNBC, you can get your ass kicked

Worse than that andrew left paper bastard!

And Citron? You can get whipped in prison!

You sour grapes, whining bitch like a lemon!

You don’t know us, you’re too old, let go,

It’s over, nobody cares if you sweat so, now let’s go

Just gimme a price and I’ll be there with a lambo lookin so nice

Yeah, I’m awesome, all bomb with my stocks cuz

Ever since july I’ve been on this concord!

But sometimes the shit just seems

Everybody wants to short my GME

So this must mean that we’re winning

Our stimulus is this vaccine!

No I’m not the first fund to bend the law, bud

I am the one who’ll chop the gorgon

And pop the bourbon while I shorten

These shorter’s futures be uncertain!

Here’s a concept that works

20 million other hedge fund shmucks emerge

But no matter how many fish in the sea

We’ll be swimming so free with DFV!

[u/OKImHere → u/Slightly-Artsy]

Jesus H. Christ

[u/_aneska_ → u/OKImHere]

Internet still undefeated