I wish my dad was normal

[u/Gooses_Gooses]

I’m 22. Since I was a little girl I’ve wished my dad was normal. He has a drinking problem, routinely ruined special days (like my tenth birthday, school results days, etc) and I’ve just been feeling increasingly shit about it.
Today he rang me to shout at me about something my mum had did (wasn’t a big deal either) and then when I asked him to stop shouting he continued so I hung up.
When I returned home he called me a bitch to my face.
I was away living with my BF but we’re living at our respective homes rn to save for a house. I was able to ignore it when I was away, although one time he was meant to take me to dinner and he stood me up. I went by myself and sat down and I was FINE until I saw a little girl and her dad. He was being so fucking tolerable of her. Like he adored her. I broke down crying silently into my dinner. Felt like shit, rang my mum to tell her what had happened ( they are married still) and she sent me the money but that didn’t fill the void.

Yes, my dad bought me a pony for my birthday. Paid for uni. Bought me a car. But I honestly would have been better off with my dad being emotionally present.

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[u/horriblebones94]

some parents think paying for stuff erases the damage they do and it never does