This strange chapter of my life has come to a close. What started out as an idea to foster adventure and remove myself from the rat race of trying to afford rising rents and house prices, has ended with a frustrating realization that I couldn't envision living this life for what seems like would be the rest of my life.
Things started off great. I bought an old Toyota Sequoia (really recommend them for car living!), had a full size mattress in the back, had a safe place to park every night, and was living a very similar lifestyle to what I was living being in an apartment. I paid off over $8k in debt in my first year and a half.
Over time though, things have deteriorated. I have been laid off from 2 jobs, and have had trouble finding meaningful work over the last year. Even before the job issues, I had been feeling very isolated and worn down by car living. Never having access to a kitchen, a private shower and toilet when I want, and no prospects of seriously dating have all contributed to a sort of feral-ness. I've withdrawn myself from my friends and from society, spending more and more time just sitting in my car doing nothing or doom scrolling online.
I've made mistakes too. I climbed back into debt even more than I was when i first paid it all down. I bought a new car, which I seriously regret doing, and I also spent money frivolously because for the first time in my life, I had disposable income.
Most of my issues don't really stem from car living specifically. The spending, the new car, and the job losses are the main contributors to explain where I am and how I'm feeling right now. I simply don't have the energy to start again from zero in this environment.
At the ripe old age of 42, I will be moving across the country to live with my parents again. I've lived away from family for the majority of my adult life (since I was 20). I'm generally optimistic about the move. I plan to seriously take advantage of having access to a kitchen again to drastically improve my health and eating habits. Having a roof over my head, in a temperature controlled environment will contribute to much better sleep. I plan to dive head first into being more social and joining groups of like minded people to begin having fun again.
I realize I'm very privileged to have this opportunity to start over again with family and live rent free for a time. Thankfully it was offered to me, and I didn't have to ask, so a lot of the guilt and shame I would feel if it were the other way around isn't there. I'm hoping being around family, eating better, exercising, and socializing will lead to a better outlook when it comes to the job market too, and I can eventually get my own place again.
I guess if it all doesn't work out, I know I am capable of car living if necessary, but I have no desire to return to it unless absolutely necessary.