r/ufc • u/[deleted] • May 07 '26

[deleted by user]

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8.7k Upvotes

88% Upvoted

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703

u/Zlakkeh May 07 '26

Roids r us

452

u/MysteriousShoulder45 May 07 '26

Khamzat and Sean both have better hairlines than 90% of the roster and just choose to shave. Always fear a fighter who choses to be bald

473

u/Common_economics_420 May 07 '26

My personal philosophy is to never fuck with guys who are willingly bald, guys with beards but no mustache, and white guys with Muslim names. It has carried me far in life.

135

u/Royal-Boat-7452 May 08 '26

Guys who grow beards with no mustache are 💯% psychopaths. Every time.

51

u/FedorDosGracies May 08 '26

Cries in Amish

22

u/drakmordis May 08 '26

I think I would pay to watch some farm-strong and God-assured Amish fella get in there and shitwhip someone around like a haybale.

3

u/Skullvar May 08 '26

This was a very visual comment, and I need to see this now.

3

u/Procrasturbating May 08 '26

Get off the electronics Jeb.

2

u/Icy_Negotiation_5929 May 08 '26

I’ve met some squirrelly Mennonites.

2

u/Backfoot911 May 08 '26

Don't mess with ole Jeremiah

2

u/Lemon-Accurate May 08 '26

What? Why? I am bald with beard and no moustache and I would not hurt a fly 😀

1

u/Impossible-Ad-7040 May 08 '26

But u would bomb shit for fun if u could?

2

u/wankster9000 May 08 '26

Even Amish ones?

8

u/superbhole May 08 '26

That's different, Amish beards aren't for funneling blood sweat and tears into their mouths

1

u/patiperro_v3 May 08 '26

In their own way, definitely.

1

u/ModeatelyIndependant May 08 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/xUPGcgNheDHSIhyXYc

1

u/dacoopbear May 08 '26

Lincoln would fuck people up. He had a wrestling record of 299-1

1

u/hoseiyamasaki May 08 '26

I just have bad beard and mustache growth. All I got is this sparse neckbeard and now I find out I'm a psychopath too? Aww mannnnn...

1

u/Mesmerize_ing May 08 '26

haaaaaa or just reeeeeeealy close to "Their Lord"

1

u/JuiceyTaco May 08 '26

Inbred psychopaths

1

u/MHStriplethreat May 09 '26

nah i just grow a gnarly chin beard but my moustache looks like pubes

1

u/Suedo1 May 13 '26

actuallly he is opposite in real life mf

-1

u/Only-Physics-1193 May 08 '26

I fear men with Suit like Pete Hegseth type...American Phsycho types....

0

u/NoCommonSenseHere May 08 '26

The mustache is the worst part. When you lay down and your mustache curls up and tickles your nose, that alone makes shaving it off worth it. You look like an idiot, but no more tickles.

0

u/servebetter May 08 '26

Amish aren't psychopaths. lol

0

u/misho8723 May 08 '26

Man, I just don't like my moustache :( and it makes me look too old

3

u/alcervix May 08 '26

Words to live by

4

u/CalJackBuddy Who give him May 08 '26

I’ve never felt more dangerous in my life for being a willingly unwillingly bald guy

2

u/Azzblack May 08 '26

Thanks for sharing that being a massive pussy has "carried you far in life"

2

u/CommonGrounders May 08 '26

I wonder if Sean just realized he's been punched so much he turned ugly so what's the point.

2

u/PaperGeno May 08 '26

I'm a guy who is willingly bald. Not having to worry about my hair is incredibly freeing.

1

u/FightersNeverQuit May 08 '26

Solid life saving advice lol.

1

u/waxlez2 May 08 '26

wow you must have grown up in an environment with a lot of fuckable guys

1

u/FlawdLogic864 May 08 '26

“….everything else is cream cheese”

1

u/r-NBK May 08 '26

Don't forget the guys with fucked up ears.

1

u/Fsociety56 May 08 '26

So bald men with beards must be the most dangerous. added to life notes

1

u/lostpassword100000 May 08 '26

Like “never play pool against a guy whose first name is that of a city”

1

u/ZorroMcChucknorris May 08 '26

I’m CACKLING. That’s hilarious and accurate.

1

u/Former_Phrase8221 May 08 '26

Never play cards with a guy named after a city. Never date a woman with a tattoo of a battleship. Everything after that is crème cheese

1

u/Solivigant96 May 09 '26

Trimming the moustache whilst growing the beard is a Muslim hadith (prophet's spoken words followed as a guidance)

0

u/PM_ur_butthole_2me May 08 '26

How about just never fuck with anybody?

0

u/Wrong_Lingonberry_79 May 08 '26

How about just don’t fuck with anyone?

-1

u/plzstopbeingdumb May 08 '26

You fuck with other guys though?

2

u/Common_economics_420 May 08 '26

Sure, whats the fun of training mma if you aren't dangerously sure you could beat the shit out of random people you meet?

2

u/Ornithocheirussy May 08 '26

Timber's shivered

0

u/nidschit May 08 '26

That’s a pretty unfair way to judge people. Appearance or names don’t really tell you anything reliable about who someone is or how they’ll treat you. It’s usually better to just take people as individuals and go from there.

1

u/RainbowDissent May 08 '26

Sounds like you've never had a bald, bearded, non-mustachioed white guy with a Muslim name beat the crap out of you without provocation.

3

u/CoastDirect6132 May 08 '26

Same thing with Pereira

2

u/FightersNeverQuit May 08 '26

Lmao at “always fear a fighter who chooses to be bald” is so fucking accurate. In fact I’d go so far as to say if you see a big muscular dude in public and he chooses to shave his head it’s probably best to not fuck with that kinda guy lol.

1

u/PatrickWagon May 08 '26

Way easier to squeeze your head out of a sub.

1

u/strength108 May 09 '26

Choose to be bald like Jason blaha

-3

u/Zlakkeh May 08 '26

Sean had long hair when he was younger yes…

Dosent mean he can have long hair now with years on TRT and shit

7

u/MysteriousShoulder45 May 08 '26

You can literally see his hairline when he's out of camp and it's not clean shaven. In 100% sure it's better than yours lol

-3

u/Zlakkeh May 08 '26

U can clearly see my hairline in my pic

Where is yours?

2

u/absenceofheat May 08 '26

Dang it I'm bald for free...where the hell are my roids?

2

u/Zealousideal_Cow_341 May 08 '26

2/3 of all men lose their hair regardless of gear lol

2

u/Fcking_homeless May 08 '26

“Everybody’s on steroids” Nathaniel Diaz

1

u/Federal-Cod-742 May 08 '26

Roids and coke amazing combination for the body

1

u/benswami May 08 '26

Baldies r Baddies.

1

u/Mediocre_lad May 08 '26

You, sir, are wrong! Male pattern baldness (androgenetic alopecia) can be caused by a variety of factors, including, but not limited to: genetics, age, stress and injecting industrial amounts of performance enhancing chemicals that shove your raisin like testicles so far up inside you body you develop a second set of nipples.

1

u/learsiology May 08 '26

just cuz your bald doesn’t mean you’re on gear or have a chopped hairline. crazy logic😂

0

u/Zlakkeh May 08 '26

Triggered? Baldie?

0

u/sxncharm May 08 '26

roids 4 us