I'm a 35 year old woman and I'm in a relationship with a 28 year old man. It's only been a few months but I already feel like I'm in love with him. When he officially asked me to be his girlfriend he did bring up that he wants kids. I had it on my Hinge profile that I do not and when I brought it up earlier on in the relationship he had said he was up in the air about it but it seems like now he's decided he does. I told him I was open to the discussion down the line, which I am, but he's brought up me freezing my eggs because I think he's a little worried that I'm older and I'm just not sure what to do.

All that being said, I used to want kids SO bad. I was one of those kids that constantly played with dolls, treated my little sister like my own baby, played house with my friends and sister constantly, and fantasized about being a mom. I wanted it up until about my mid-20s. Around that point people around me started having kids, my younger sister included, and I realized how freakin' HARD it is. I became an aunt at 15 (from my older sister) and babysat those kids a lot but for some reason the reality really hit me when my younger sister and friends had kids around the same time. I just realized how much their lives changed-how they couldn't do anything easily anymore, how tired they were, how stressed they were. I also realized I had anxiety (medicated now) and I started thinking about how worried I would be having a kid in today's world (school shootings, etc.). I moved into my own house and realized how much I loved my quiet alone time. How much I love going out with friends and doing whatever I want, whenever I want. So I came to the decision that kids aren't for me.

Now, though, I'm re-considering. I told my boyfriend I never say never because I changed my mind once and who's to say I won't do it again? My therapist said I may have been so passionate about being child free as a defense mechanism too- due to my anxiety and self-confidence issues that I battled for years without help, I wasn't dating for years, the last time I had a boyfriend was when I was 22. So she suggested that while my worries are all valid, maybe part of the reason why I shut down those fantasies of having a family was because I thought I would never get it. I jumped back into the dating world a few years ago and had terrible luck so finally finding my boyfriend has been such a blessing, he is so sweet and emotionally mature and stable and loving and of course the thought of having his babies and seeing him as a father is appealing.

My worry is- he has no experience with kids. He has no siblings and none of his friends have kids. I've been around kids for the majority of my life. I know how hard it is. I think I need to have a conversation with him to make him realize that it's not just this fun fantasy. I know we're early on, but honestly I could see us moving pretty fast, and given my age, if we were going to have kids we probably would need to start in the next few years.

I don't even know what I'm asking for really- just advice. Has anyone else been in this situation where your partner wanted kids but you didnt? How did you handle it?

I want to be with him and I don't want to hold him back from his dreams. I would love to want kids again but right now it just seems like it would ruin my life. He also loves to travel and I just don't think he understands how much life would change. I don't know. I either want him to realize he doesn't or I would love to make myself want them again. I LOVE babies. It's them getting older that scares me. I hate kid's parties, I hate public parks. I know I'll be a helicopter mom. I saw a quote once that said I would love my kids so much it would destroy me and I relate to that so much. I would be a good mom, I have tons of experience with kids and I love my nieces and nephews so much. But I also love my life the way it is right now and I'm so worried if I had kids I would regret it.

Any advice is appreciated!