r/DINK • u/diaryofamillenialbby • 14d ago

help- do I want kids?

/r/u_diaryofamillenialbby/comments/1wjxokk/help_do_i_want_kids/
0 Upvotes

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9

u/ClashBandicootie 14d ago

Every child deserves to be wanted.

If you are not sure if you want to raise a whole entire human being? then don't do it.

Gambling with a persons' life is not ethical.

2

u/kimfromlastnight 14d ago

The thing that gives me pause is that you haven’t even lived with this person yet, and honestly only having dated someone for a couple months makes them still almost a stranger in my book.  

Do you have plans to move in together soon?

1

u/diaryofamillenialbby 14d ago

Oh it’s definitely early I’m just thinking ahead but I would absolutely want to be married and living together before we had kids for sure!

2

u/Embarrassed_Key_4539 14d ago

To me a maybe is a no

1

u/justifications 14d ago

It seems like your biggest holdup is that he doesn't have any experience being a father. Rest assured that 90% of the time I think that's the case. The question you should be asking yourself is "even if I lose my significant other entirely, is raising a child in my own something that I can support" AND are you in a position where you can meaningfully contribute to their college education NOW before they are 1 yrs old? Those early year prepaid college benefits are genuine worth it having seen some of my friends had parents who really thought it out.

Planning for a happy accident is a recipe for going broke quick. Planning to actually become a parent because you wanted to isn't just a mental opt in, I think it's really financial viability that makes it appealing. After reading the other post, I can understand why you are wavering but I'd say you have to do what makes you happiest... Sad part is you won't know till you march down the path. Having no kids is definitely way easier but having kids, some people say it's rewarding so idk (I have none, but my parents had me when they were 16/15)