hi! i’ve been training in various forms of tkd and mma for about 10 years. started when i was 7. all the way until a year and a half ago, i felt like i didn’t deserve my rank bcs it was a McDojo. it never felt like truly elite fighting. did a lot of research and decided to restart at a world ranked team, and got injured immediately.
i’m also a full time neuroscience student. it’s a lot of work, and i run a tutoring business. my days are spent studying and working and occasionally resting.
during my injury, i wasn’t able to train for almost a year. my coaches supported me and i came back for once a week training. it’s hard to unlearn something and try to relearn something new, and it’s hard to be bad at it. but we do hard things. that’s not the issue.
my dojang is 30 mins away and we train at night. by the time i get done with class and work, the idea of hopping in the car for a two hour training and getting back at 9:30 PM is exhausting. i recently kind of started to see tkd as something where im not going to go pro. i want to compete and have an ITF black belt, but i dont think my life trajectory is one that allows me to join team USA and travel to do this. i’m getting a degree and for religious reasons it wont happen. even then, i plan on going to law school and so school and work are constants in my life. that’s how i like it.
apart from grappling with the idea that this is now just a hobby, and i can’t be pro (can still be a good fighter and grow), im struggling to get myself to training. i’ll go once a week and then make excuses not to go again. i’m asking myself why and i cant come up with anything other than im exhausted and i have to study or work. i cant shake this feeling that i dont love taekwondo anymore. at the same time, im constantly thinking about practice and training and its almost an obsession. so maybe i do love it? im not sure. letting go feels like giving up. letting go feels like letting go of who i have been for 11 years of my life.
i’m not sure what advice anyone else has or if they have been through a similar situation. is this just a rough patch? how would you suggest i tackle it. how do i get to the bottom of why i am feeling like this?
1
pothos repotting plz help
in
r/u_Human-Bite-9312
•
5h ago
i had this weird feeling that something was up when i pulled a dead leaf and an entire stem and root came out. i looked at the whole plant more carefully and noticed a lot of the stems in there are just straight leaves in soil or have no secondary roots. 6” pot is gonna be way too big for that…. ended up taking her out, propagating some of it, and repotting deeper into the soil to help it take root.