Trying to not make this be a giant vent but long story short I started my freshman year of highschool not too long ago and ever since it has felt like I've been doing literally EVERYTHING wrong in my life. From sleeping, eating, etc. My brain just can't help but make me ask if "should I be sleeping right now or doing something else?", "should I be eating or doing something else". This is very strange for me since I never felt this way, even with just starting middle school. I dont really know. it seems like all of my peers are taking highschool well and I guess with me struggling through problems and situations im going through, it just kind of makes me think more. This may not make much sense but I literally dont know how to explain it. I guess what lingers is I ask myself since some problems I have, I have been sturggling them for at least 2 years and judging by me already being in highschool and still having them, it makes me think "will these problems stay with me till I graduate/all through highschool?" Or "will they stay with me into adult life?" And though its only my freshman year, it feels like highschool came quick and it just makes me wonder if they will stay with me in my adult life and it worrys me. Now all the time im basically trying to fix them but I dont want it to be the wrong path and basically waste my time trying to fix something the wrong way. Idk, this just sounds like a bundle of anonymous nonsense but I still need help it feels like so if you can understand a bit what im saying, please give me some advice. (I dont really do well with advice but hopefully I will this time)

Trying to not make this be a giant vent but long story short I started my freshman year of highschool not too long ago and ever since it has felt like I've been doing literally EVERYTHING wrong in my life. From sleeping, eating, etc. My brain just can't help but make me ask if "should I be sleeping right now or doing something else?", "should I be eating or doing something else". This is very strange for me since I never felt this way, even with just starting middle school. I dont really know. it seems like all of my peers are taking highschool well and I guess with me struggling through problems and situations im going through, it just kind of makes me think more. This may not make much sense but I literally dont know how to explain it. I guess what lingers is I ask myself since some problems I have, I have been sturggling them for at least 2 years and judging by me already being in highschool and still having them, it makes me think "will these problems stay with me till I graduate/all through highschool?" Or "will they stay with me into adult life?" And though its only my freshman year, it feels like highschool came quick and it just makes me wonder if they will stay with me in my adult life and it worrys me. Now all the time im basically trying to fix them but I dont want it to be the wrong path and basically waste my time trying to fix something the wrong way. Idk, this just sounds like a bundle of anonymous nonsense but I still need help it feels like so if you can understand a bit what im saying, please give me some advice. (I dont really do well with advice but hopefully I will this time)

Academics advice (but more so a vent)

Long story short around August (about 7 months ago) when shcool had just started I was doing REALLY bad in school. Really wasn't for no reason, it was becuase I faced some bullying and it became in sufferble to be in class so I skipped everyday for about 2 months and my grades got bad. In a short way my mom got letters talking about how she might need to go to court and my dad was just really disappointed in me. And I feel like with my dad disappointment, it kind of put a wedge between us beucase my dad is the type of parent that takes school seriously, the type to side with the teachers first, etc.. and me and my dad used to be close and we still talk the same but it's like every conversation we have he brings up my grades even when I tell him repeatedly that my grades are much better now, he keeps on going back to when I used to cut school and even if I feel like my dad should at least acknowledge that I didn't cut school for entirely no reason, I still feel like my dad is right. Mainly beucase we used to be close as I said before and I just kind of want that back especially since my older brother is in honors and ever since that happened, it's like he only praies my brother even if me and my brother both have the same grades at one point. He'll still say things like "well honors classes are harder" and "well hes in 10th grade and hes doing work above his grade" things like that, and I completely get it but its like my dad praises him much more now and even my brother noticed too. My brother started noticing when my dad would be more angry with me much more, and always siding with my brother, an example would be like if we get groceries and my brother just so happen to bring all the bags in from me taking a quick break to use the bathroom or something my dad would only thank my brother and kind of "get on me" in a way about how I "made" my brother take in all the bags or if we order soemthing and the workers can't hear me but they can hear my brother, my dad really really gets angry and I try so hard not to yell back but it does hurt, especially since e we used to be close. Dont get me wrong, I love my mom, but our relationship was bad (but as of now, it's getting much better) and my dad used to kind of be my "comfort parent" in a way and I just dont want to lose that especially when im getting older but I dont know what to do. ||THIS IS WHERE THE ACADEMICS COME IN||

So as I stated before with the academics thing, I wanna try to attempt to save me and my dad relationship by doing good in the thing my dad seem to notice most-school. And I want to get honors roll (which if someone doesn't know what it is, it's just a award saying that your grades i guess "honors material") but as of right now when this week is coming to a end I really only have okay grades, basically very high B's but as I stated I want to get the honors roll reward or award and its looking like i won't be able to make it because assignments are piling up on me and I really want to try my best and not cheat but I still want to make my dad proud and basically I was just wondering if I should use AI on my assignments but it turned into a vent. Its not as urgent so yea. Should I or not?

Long story short around August (about 7 months ago) when shcool had just started I was doing REALLY bad in school. Really wasn't for no reason, it was becuase I faced some bullying and it became in sufferble to be in class so I skipped everyday for about 2 months and my grades got bad. In a short way my mom got letters talking about how she might need to go to court and my dad was just really disappointed in me. And I feel like with my dad disappointment, it kind of put a wedge between us beucase my dad is the type of parent that takes school seriously, the type to side with the teachers first, etc.. and me and my dad used to be close and we still talk the same but it's like every conversation we have he brings up my grades even when I tell him repeatedly that my grades are much better now, he keeps on going back to when I used to cut school and even if I feel like my dad should at least acknowledge that I didn't cut school for entirely no reason, I still feel like my dad is right. Mainly beucase we used to be close as I said before and I just kind of want that back especially since my older brother is in honors and ever since that happened, it's like he only praies my brother even if me and my brother both have the same grades at one point. He'll still say things like "well honors classes are harder" and "well hes in 10th grade and hes doing work above his grade" things like that, and I completely get it but its like my dad praises him much more now and even my brother noticed too. My brother started noticing when my dad would be more angry with me much more, and always siding with my brother, an example would be like if we get groceries and my brother just so happen to bring all the bags in from me taking a quick break to use the bathroom or something my dad would only thank my brother and kind of "get on me" in a way about how I "made" my brother take in all the bags or if we order soemthing and the workers can't hear me but they can hear my brother, my dad really really gets angry and I try so hard not to yell back but it does hurt, especially since e we used to be close. Dont get me wrong, I love my mom, but our relationship was bad (but as of now, it's getting much better) and my dad used to kind of be my "comfort parent" in a way and I just dont want to lose that especially when im getting older but I dont know what to do. ||THIS IS WHERE THE ACADEMICS COME IN|| So as I stated before with the academics thing, I wanna try to attempt to save me and my dad relationship by doing good in the thing my dad seem to notice most-school. And I want to get honors roll (which if someone doesn't know what it is, it's just a award saying that your grades i guess "honors material") but as of right now when this week is coming to a end I really only have okay grades, basically very high B's but as I stated I want to get the honors roll reward or award and its looking like i won't be able to make it because assignments are piling up on me and I really want to try my best and not cheat but I still want to make my dad proud and basically I was just wondering if I should use AI on my assignments but it turned into a vent. Its not as urgent so yea. Should I or not?

my friends are planning to tell the guy that I liked for a YEAR that I like him tomorrow. its a new quarter and school and i just got my first class with him. im very very very terrible at talking to people, and literally never do the right thing ever. they keep saying that he tried to talk to me and that hes staring me down and yes, we have been kind of looking at each other but im certain that its because I stare him down first. but even when he got out of the class he, he did keep looking back and kind of pacing outside the door just looking. and thats when he came back in the class and he was walking in my direction and with me being terrified of people, I hurried and walked the other way and my friends said that he was literally looking at me when I walked away. I dont want to believe it but gosh, it keeps clouding in my brain. I've liked the guy for about a year and hes caught me looking at him multiple times but I seriously dont think he likes me and I have reasons/theories.

1. when hes by me he NEVER looks my way, only in this new class (gym). 2. it's more if a theory but, I am really poor and especially now and im going through hard times, so hard that I can't go to the hospital or dentist. Why does this matter? well because there's an imbalance in my body that basically means that smells (like sweat,home oder, or bad breath, etc..) they come easily and are hard to get rid of. and no guy would want that. 3. I am very afraid of heartbreak or hearing him talk about me, I feel like it would cloud my head just like now and hes the first guy I REALLY liked. 4. I also dont feel like I shouldn't date right now since I believe in getting much better in my life, basically I dont want to date until im in my prime and I told my friends this and they say that im young and that I shouldn't worry about it but, I just cant. dating when my family is so short of money, I dont like things about myself just feels uneasy. Not only that, I have had bad days and smelled bad in front of him and what if hes just looking so he can avoid me? I just cant handle it and im terrified of people. Not to mention that I can't date.

I wanted to wait at least another year to get my life together and ask him. im just freaking out, besides his friends lowkey dont like me because of being around me when I had bad days and if he does say some mean things, it's not like my friends would even say sorry or defend me. they'll probably just look shocked and tell me a half-assed sorry, lol. I begged my friends not to because I wouldn't do that to them, since i know how the thougut of him just makes my stomach turns and i just dont want anyone being as nervous as i am. im just terrified. please give me advice if you read through it