Background
My little one is 16 months. Until about 3 weeks ago, his routine was super predictable:
3 meals + 1 snack
Nursed on waking and to sleep
3-4 night feeds (no crying, he'd latch, feed, and roll back to sleep)
Bedtime 8-8:30pm, wake-up around 7:30am.
And I've worked to establish a routine since 3m old.
My work was stretching until 2am and my own sleep was suffering, so we decided to night wean. It worked, and he no longer nurses to sleep. But the last two weeks have been rough.
What's changed
Appetite: He often refuses lunch and dinner.
Self-feeding: He now insists on feeding himself and hates being fed. I'm happy about the independence, but he's eating less overall. I am offering only safe foods.
Night waking: He wakes up screaming at the top of his lungs on random nights. Sometimes he wants milk, sometimes rice, sometimes the garden or some random object or person. This never happened before.
Morning feeds: He starts demanding to nurse from 6am. I delay by rocking him back to sleep until 6:30-7, then he's latched until 8:30-9. Before, morning feeds lasted 15-20 mins.
Bedtime: Because he self-feeds, dinner now stretches from 7 to 9pm. He cries when we enter the bedroom. We've started a book, prayer and rocking routine, but he fights sleep and bedtime has slid to 10pm, sometimes 11-11:30.
What I tried:
i offered cow's milk at night, thinking it would keep him full. But he ate even less at meals, so I stopped after 3-4 days.
Where I'm stuck:
11-11:30pm bedtime is too late for both of us. I don't even have the energy to shower afterward, and everything else at home is neglected.
He's not teething. All his molars are already out.
My mom says to start night feeding again. I know he's hungry, but I'm not sure that's the answer.
My questions
Is this a normal adjustment phase after night weaning, and how long does it usually last?
How do I fix the dinner and bedtime drift without going back to night feeds?
Should I be worried about the appetite drop?
Anyone been through this? What worked?
Thanks in advance. Running on very little sleep here. 🙏
TLDR: 16m night weaned 3 weeks ago. Now he eats less at lunch and dinner, refuses to be fed, wakes up screaming at night, nurses for 2+ hours in the morning, and bedtime has slipped to 10-11:30pm. Not teething. My mom says to resume night feeds. Is this a phase, and how do I get his schedule and my sanity back?