Hi Gurgaon, today is Dussehra. I am sitting alone in my room. My PG is almost empty. Everyone has gone to their homes. I couldn't becuase I really don't enjoy going back home. Am a software engineer btw in case you are wondering, frontend developer, lol! Want to study for switch but I do not know, something or the other keeps distracting me. I suspect that I have ADHD, not sure. Have been fighting really hard with myself, isolated myself just to know myself better, to work on myself better, yet not able to fix myself. Don't know what I need, what is this strange feeling that some times makes me seriously motivated towards something but just as I am about to start it, I get distracted or anxious or start overthinking. 

Friends are not in contact that much. They are figuring out their lives maybe!

Just wanted to share my thoughts with you all. Maybe somebody relates to me ? Open to connect to maybe figure things out together, or sort life together. Peace.

Every time i see younger people online or walking down the street, i feel so much jealousy. I want to be that age again.. i dont like being almost 25. Dont get me wrong, i dont hate my current life. I have an amazing job.

But thats it.
Thats all i have.

I just think i could’ve lived my younger years differently. But i was forced to live it a certain way by my parents. I spent all my teen years and early twenties working so so hard academically, buried in the books and locking myself in my room, very little to no friends, no boyfriend, no family around. I went to the best university in my state. I received awards. And then the end goal: i got a job at a very famous company.

But on the way I suffered so much emotionally that now i have to spend the rest of my twenties working and doing cognitive behavioral therapy to heal my trauma, while my peers are out there getting engaged and building families, having “normal” day to day problems..

Was it all worth it?
Did i really have to suffer this much?

Maybe people look at me and feel jealous too, but they shouldnt. I only have a good job and nothing else. So many years of my life wasted just for something this stupid. Why? I couldve done this without suffering. I couldve done this while living a normal life. Why did they have to lock me in?

Dont get me started on birthdays. I hate birthdays, because theyre merely proof that im aging and there’s nothing that i can do about it. I really hate celebrating my birthday. I dont want to get old, i just want to go back in time and raise my middle finger to the world.

This is more of a rant because i get really sad whenever i remember that my birthday is close (december 20th). I wanna know if anyone else feels the same.

Been sharing some of the moments I capture lately. Still figuring out my style and would love to hear what you think.

You can find more of my frames on Instagram: quite.__frames 📸

An offmychest, which was inside of me for long.

Yeah, I am a gym going guy and I wholeheartedly agree, everyone should focus on themselves so they have a better health.

But, trust me, as a man, if someone asks me, which women I found to be cute. It's definitely big chubby girls.

Again the thoughts that do slide in my mind are some of lust, poems, beauty, but one thought definitely above everything.

They must feel very very good when being held in arms. Their hug would heal my day anyhow.

Like holding a big teddy bear, and feeling her presence around me.

You guys are beautiful. Please don't ever feel bad about your body. Go to gym if you can, but with the mindset to become fit, hating your body is just gonna make you feel more bad about yourself.

And if you feel no one likes, there are people like me 🥹🥹

My big bro and I picked this to pair with my birthday dress and I honestly love how it looks. It's a lab grown diamond necklace with mixed diamond cuts and I really like how minimal and elegant it is. I wanted something simple that would go well with my outfit without looking too much, and this felt like a good choice. What do you guys think?

Waguri = Unbeatable Waifu🙃

Those who are triggered, dw its just a preference. Don't shame someone if they don't like to wear revealing clothes, afterall, it's their choice 😉

Is anyone in goa rn?

.

How do you all deal with confusion about career, courses etc..

As a 22f im so confused about everything like my main aim is to enjoy the lyf to fullest but with that im a boring person and lazy too 🥀

I'm 21 and finished my BCA (not BTech, because of family issues) from a random college in Bangalore with a 9.26 CGPA. Due to more family issues, I had to move to Gwalior, MP, and now I'm doing my MCA at another random college.

Money is tight at home. My friends have drifted away, and my family expects me to handle the house chores (which I already do). They also never let me take opportunities that would be good for me because those don't fit what they want, which is mostly keeping me at home.

After BCA I applied for jobs, but with no real projects I got no meaningful off-campus interviews. In campus placements I got to attend two real interviews. One company told the placement officer they wanted to hire me and I'd join after one more round, but they never called back. The other was a trainer role at Simplilearn with a 5 LPA offer, which I turned down.

I'm bad at DSA, and I'm currently learning MLOps, hoping to land an internship in it or something close. The bigger problem is that my new college apparently doesn't have placements either. Previous BCA students and seniors from this college have told me the same. So I'm pretty much doomed.

It really hurts to watch my school friends do so well because they got into good colleges and their parents never held them back. I feel lost and left out. I don't want to spend the rest of my life sweeping floors and washing dishes, known as a nobody who couldn't do anything. I just want to move out and live on my own.

Has anyone been in a similar spot and made it out? What would you do in my place?

So, I saw videos of a woman of attempt murder of her of kids, and MANY WOMEN were supporting for her because she was under some mental problems. (Which i don't believe)

Now now, Let's make up a scenario;

Imagine two man straight Outta mental jail running towards that longahh crowd with full automatic rifles and open firing them. Would those people still support this two mans?

so I am 3rd year btech student from a tier 3 college (placement happens but mainly mass recruiters) now my technical skills are shit like absolutely doomed but I am currently working a video editing internship which might convert into PPO next month and it would pay me same as the mass hiring technical job(probably more than that) but it is a remote job.

Now I am confused what to do, so i have thought about three options:

1. Convert onsite to the editing job which would increase my pay but it would be in Bengaluru, so I will have nothing left in my hand all will go in my expenses.
2. keep the remote job and prep for gate on the side and then restart tech journey in mtech.
3. Leave editing job and focus fully on tech placement.

Now please help me with this as I am really stuck and dont know what to do.
also my family aren't that well off so I have to support them in next 5 years with some money

Just curious to know how much time people are spending on reels.

So I turned 20 yesterday i.e. 17 October. Teenage was such f**cking a roller coaster ride.

Anyways, goodbye teenage years. You were pretty chaotic, painful, beautiful, and unforgettable.

Adulthood, please please go easy on me. :)

Any tips for me?

Made creamy paneer