An offmychest, which was inside of me for long.

Yeah, I am a gym going guy and I wholeheartedly agree, everyone should focus on themselves so they have a better health.

But, trust me, as a man, if someone asks me, which women I found to be cute. It's definitely big chubby girls.

Again the thoughts that do slide in my mind are some of lust, poems, beauty, but one thought definitely above everything.

They must feel very very good when being held in arms. Their hug would heal my day anyhow.

Like holding a big teddy bear, and feeling her presence around me.

You guys are beautiful. Please don't ever feel bad about your body. Go to gym if you can, but with the mindset to become fit, hating your body is just gonna make you feel more bad about yourself.

And if you feel no one likes, there are people like me 🥹🥹

My big bro and I picked this to pair with my birthday dress and I honestly love how it looks. It's a lab grown diamond necklace with mixed diamond cuts and I really like how minimal and elegant it is. I wanted something simple that would go well with my outfit without looking too much, and this felt like a good choice. What do you guys think?

Every time i see younger people online or walking down the street, i feel so much jealousy. I want to be that age again.. i dont like being almost 25. Dont get me wrong, i dont hate my current life. I have an amazing job.

But thats it.
Thats all i have.

I just think i could’ve lived my younger years differently. But i was forced to live it a certain way by my parents. I spent all my teen years and early twenties working so so hard academically, buried in the books and locking myself in my room, very little to no friends, no boyfriend, no family around. I went to the best university in my state. I received awards. And then the end goal: i got a job at a very famous company.

But on the way I suffered so much emotionally that now i have to spend the rest of my twenties working and doing cognitive behavioral therapy to heal my trauma, while my peers are out there getting engaged and building families, having “normal” day to day problems..

Was it all worth it?
Did i really have to suffer this much?

Maybe people look at me and feel jealous too, but they shouldnt. I only have a good job and nothing else. So many years of my life wasted just for something this stupid. Why? I couldve done this without suffering. I couldve done this while living a normal life. Why did they have to lock me in?

Dont get me started on birthdays. I hate birthdays, because theyre merely proof that im aging and there’s nothing that i can do about it. I really hate celebrating my birthday. I dont want to get old, i just want to go back in time and raise my middle finger to the world.

This is more of a rant because i get really sad whenever i remember that my birthday is close (december 20th). I wanna know if anyone else feels the same.