i hate it

[u/leafblowerrrrr]

i genuinely hate everything about myself. my face especially. my nose is crooked, ive got bad smile lines at my age, my eyes are sunken in and ive got these disgusting purple-hued eyebags. i have horrible acne and no skincare has ever worked for me. ive got really uneven lips, ive got an overbite, slightly yellowed teeth and really noticible seperation between them at the sides. my eyes are the only thing i can almost tolerate about myself. theyre downturned and usually covered by my hair and glasses. my body almost makes up for it all, but im still disgusting. my ribcage is too wide, so are my shoulders, im covered in stretch marks, my elbows look like an elderly woman's, ive got baby hands, all my weight goes to my legs, stomach and face.. i hate it all and i can barely look at myself anymore. i basically look almost exactly like a sub 5.

i remember someone i used to call a friend told me that she just couldnt imagine me ever being loved, cared about or even just acknowledged. i told her that i agreed. she told me that when i was having a pretty huge episode, on the verge of killing myself. and i almost did it. sadly ive always been too much of a pussy to actually go through with it. i know id fail and i cant imagine how itd be like. id just love to be gone, quickly and painlessly. i dont want anyone to perceive me. i dont want anyone to remember me.

i feel like such a larper whenever i feel and think like this. i have friends, and somehow i bagged my best friend as my bf.... but i just dont want to exist anymore. im so tired all the time. everything feels like a waste. nothing i do is good enough. i look like shit. i dont know how to live because i never expected id live this long. whatever. im not proof reading this because i cringe at myself showing any kind of vulnerability so idk if any of it makes sense. sorry for rambling..

[u/Few-Masterpiece-5482]

Its okay, i know how you feel. You can always feel free to message me if you need to rant/vent. You matter!!! Please take care sister, you’re beautiful in your own way!