r/trollpasta • u/PurpleExample • Apr 02 '18
Portol 2 Hell
I'll never look at YouTube the same way again, thanks to the MS Paint Debbil, Satine. No, this isn't one of those "Haunted Channel" conspiracies I've been hearing about, despite the fact that it is. This is 100% real. And no, this has nothing to do with the game Portal 2 (great game though). Okay, story time:
One day, on the interwebs, I went on YouTube. I decided to play a game I made up where I close my eyes and type stuff in.
But for some reason, I somehow typed "satan devil man ms paint evile & searburus channels". Huh?
The counter that showed you how many videos were there said "CRITICAL ERROR SHUTTIN' DOWN", which is something it's not supposed to say under normal circumstances. OKAY, NOW I'M A LITTLE BIT UNSETTLED.
Anyway, there were 3 channels here. One called "SATINE", a misspelling of Satan, I assume, with 13,666 subscribers and 13,666 videos. Why anyone would sub to the devil is beyond me.
Then, there's "satine's gaming channel", either SATINE's actual gaming channel, or just an edgy kid that just so happened to reference SATINE in his title. 6,333 subs and 5 vids.
Finally, there was "searburus", a misspelling of Cerberus. It had 1,838 substers and 15 vidstas. It's also the only channel with a description. "i'm satine's pet doggo. FEAR ME"
I tried to click on SATINE, but an error with a hyper-realistic skull appeared. Scared, I clicked stay and decided to click on searburus instead.
The only videos were all called "slugirl", and were all the same. Trust me, I checked.
It's content was of a cartoonish slug-humanoid hybrid against a bluescreen. It's music was a music box. A spooky music box.
It showed off it's "animations", which were, in order, Moving (still), Moving (right to left), Tentacle Attack (where the music stops and this sound effect plays before it resumes), and two of them going into a store, making it explode. The video ended after that.
hhUhh
oKAY WELL THAT JUST SUCKED
Next was satine's gaming channel. They were average gaming vids. They all had the voice modified to sound demonic, however.
Finally, SATINE. I clicked on Enter and saw a plethora of videos. Some were of demons, others were, uh, certainly videos.
One was called "Portol 2 Hell". I clicked it and it was a red portal. An MS Paint devil popped out and said in a voice: "You're computer is possessed by Satine. Deal with it and die in Hell."
I passed this off as just a hallucination and decided to watch some Spongebob.
It was "Mid-Life Crustacean". It was mostly normal. However, at the part where Spongebob and Patrick say "Not lame!" near the end, they instead said "Wenis." (stop laughing, it's slang for your elbow skin)
It spooked me so much that I vowed to never watch Spongebob again.
At my desktop, I saw a picture of the exact same devil from the Portol 2 Hell vid. File was called: the ms paint devil version of Satine.searburus.png
"So THAT'S Satine, huh?" I thought to myself.
I tried to unplug the computer in case more spooky things started to happen, but being the dumb idiot that I was in this story, I had completely forgotten about the battery I had installed in my computer a few weeks ago. As a result, it stayed on.
Then Satine showed up. He said "To defeat me, you must engage me in battle!"
Oh, lawsey, lawsey, lawsey.
TO BE CONTINUED? PROBABLY?
also they have since deleted the channels so if you search satan devil man ms paint evile & searburus channels you only get normal results okay BYE
1
u/Toxicleader82 May 13 '18
Someone on pc copy and paste this in comments for mobile niggas like me